16.5 month old possible asd or as?? need insight please :)

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Hi, I'm a mother of a 16.5 month old that seems to have some red flags. I'm going to be honest, I'm really worried and a little terrified. He is my first child and I'm not sure if he is just stubborn or what. I have a devolopmental specialist coming to my home next week but I was just hoping for some insight. I have a younger brother diagnosed with AS and a cousin with a daughter with ASD. So its always been a concern of mine. From what I understand, children with autism or aspergers dislike physical contact which my son requires alot of attention throughout the day to the point he climbs up the back of my legs when I'm cooking,cleaning ect... he makes good eye contact, and has hit just about every physical milestone. the things that concern me is I feel like he ignores me much of the time but he does respond to his name, just not all the time. it like he is in his own world. he holds his ears and claps his hands alot whether or not I ask him to, he sometimes walks on his toes, he is very independent and enjoys playing alone(he does check in with me) doesn't really initiate activites...this could be my fault because I'm always there and if he is looking at a book or puzzle or his alphablet poster i just engage with him in that activity. he doesnt point to objects of interest much either. he used to say hi and doesnt anymore. he just started using the word ball again after about a month or so not saying it at all. defintily does not speak as many word as he shoud be but is very vocal. he just started trying to sing with me this week. another odd thing is that if he is doing his own thing and I can't get him to pay attention to me, if I start singing he drops whatever he is doing to listen and will even come from a different room. I know this is a long-winded message and I thank you for taking your time out to respond. I'm just concerned and not knowing is taking its toll on me.

It's really not possible to diagnose a child through a description over the internet, especially through one post. Your son is very young, and some of what you're describing are typical developmental stages that many children go through (toe walking, solitary play, poor initiation). When you read things that discuss ASD and relate to these issues, the issue isn't, for instance, that the child toe-walked, it's for how long, and at what age.

Given that your son has hit all his milestones, is attached to you, and communicates, there is no reason to be terrified. If he is on the spectrum, he's on the spectrum. It's not the end of the world, and you will be able to get him the supports he needs. He is the same person, whether he has a diagnosis or not - pay attention to what he needs in order to express himself. It's really the same for all kids, whether on the spectrum or not - they need parents who are tuned into them, who can help them build on their strengths and work around their areas of weakness.

the funny thing is...I had him on the "your baby can read" program and he continues to point out the correct word just refuses to use the words.

Like a pp said, it's so difficult to say based on a post on here. Also, your son is so young, so it's hard as a bystander to say what's appropriate and what isn't. I think are right to have an assessment if you are concerned. They will know more.

He sounds a LoT like my 22 month old, actually. My 4 year old likely has Asperger's, so I've been really keeping an eye on his sister. She's SO much different than him, but shows some things that COULD be red flags or could just be part of a developmental phase.

My son hit all of his milestones and any red flag he had was developmentally appropriate when they started. The fact that they behaviors didn't go away was what made us get him assessed.

Good luck to you! This is a very informative group! I'm pretty new to it and I feel like I've been learning a lot.

I think most pediatricians will agree that 16.5 months is way to young to be worried about what you describe.

First of all, Welcome to Wrong Planet!

While I definitely think 16.5 mos is too young to diagnose, it is not too early to begin looking at things and having him evaluated on a preliminary basis. I started having concerns about my son at 1 yr of age. He too is my only child, so it was very tough for me. On one hand, I thought I was just being neurotic, but on the other hand, I knew in my gut that something was going on with my son.

My son's case is a little different in that he was late in all of his physical milestones. He was slow to crawl, and did not walk until 2 yrs of age. He had great eye contact and was very loveable and smiled and did interact with us. He even had words. Our biggest concern was the physical delays, so we started taking him in for physical therapy at 1 yr of age. He also started flapping his hands around a year old.

All along, everyone who would meet him (mostly therapists) would say that he didn't really seem autistic, but they then started noticing all of these things about my son. He didn't point, he didn't show me things, he was not really playing with toys much. he did not initiate things on his own. I just started getting more and more concerned even though my son had words.

Then we started Occupational therapy at 18 mos old, and she thought he could use a speech evaluation. She said that even though he had words, he was not really using them much for back and forth communication. A speech therapist came out and evaluated him and he qualified for speech services. Then the speech therapist started pointing out his deficits in language. Then I was really concerned.

He finally started walking at 21 mos, and I thought okay, everything is going to be okay. Then shortly after his 2nd birthday, he started repeating phrases from tv and books. We realized that he was memorizing all of his little books that we were reading to him. I would take him places and he would not play with the other kids. He still was not playing with toys much and was repeating things back to us when we talked to him. (echolalia)

Finally, at the gentle prodding from the therapists, we had him evaluated by a developmental pediatrician at 2.5 years of age. His diagnosis was PDD-NOS/possible Aspergers.

So, I share all of this with you to let you know that I can totally relate to what you are going through. But, it is going to be a waiting game. You have to give your son time to develop. Many children have some odd behaviors, and it is very hard to tell at this age. I know the waiting is hard, but please just keep loving and interacting with your son and just ENJOY him. I had to make a conscious effort to do this because I was SO consumed with worry about him. Especially with the late walking. I can honestly look back now and say that I am glad I made that effort because he is my only child. I would hate to look back on his life and just not remember any of the good things about his infancy and toddlerhood. I am not saying you are doing that, but just be aware of it.

My son is now 5.5 and is doing pretty well. He has been in therapy since he was 1 yr of age, so I am definitely a firm believer in early intervention. Early intervention will consist of speech and occupational therapy, and it can't hurt your son. That is if your son is even on the spectrum. Some of what you describe may fit, but again, you will just have to keep walking it out until you know.

I wish you the best of luck. Even if your son is diagnosed, it will be OKAY> I will not say it has been a piece of cake, but it is not the end of the world. It took me a long time to adjust, and it will be 3 yrs this coming February since my son was diagnosed, and we are doing okay.

Hang in there!

My son was diagnosed at 8 years of age. I have known something was different since he was born. He has very mild Aspergers... or so we think. He's somewhere on the spectrum... but the exact location on the spectrum is not always so clear....
I took my son to all kinds of "specialists" until I realized that in his case - this wasn't helping and was probably hindering, sometimes it was downright traumatic for him. He hit every milestone, but always a little late. He walked on his toes, and we saw several specialists for that. We brushed his feet because the OT thought he was overly sensitive, and we had leg braces made because the orthopedic specialist thought he needed it - he refused to wear them! He was/is extraordinarily hyperactive. He never babbled (but he did make sounds and loved to raspberry) and he talked a wee bit late.... One day, when he was about 2, we went to an appointment for him to be tested for speach, auditory, cognitive - and so on. He took off all his clothes except his diaper, grabbed the key the specialist had left on the counter, unlocked the door and ran down the street. On that day I stopped consulting specialists and started addressing his issues in my own way. I also put him in preschool for two hours a day so he could socialize with other toddlers.

At least for my son, I am happy to say - he walks a bit slower than most, but there is nothing wrong with his feet that therapy could have changed. He loves school. His friends and teachers have noticed his eccentricities, but now he is able to talk - so he can tell us what is going on. I've also become much more observant and I can tell his teachers what is going on when his behavior is mystifying.

At 8 years old the diagnosis is helpful in terms of explaining to others how he thinks, so that they can meet him halfway - prior to now I do not think it was/ or would have been helpful.

I'm fairly certain that you know your child better than anyone. You understand what your child is trying to do (even if it seems odd to others) and you are in the best position to help your child develop. What will an outside evaluation buy you, in terms of help, at such a young age? Trust your instincts - you seem to have them as you are able to describe the nuances of your child's behavior. Specialists are NOT always more "special" (or helpful, or more knowledgeable) than you are.

*If you read this before - I had to edit the last sentence because there was a typo.

Anyway - I say all of this because if I had to do it again, I would be more careful about who, and what "tests", I subjected my baby/toddler to.

I just wanted to clear something up a bit. I love my son. and the reason I was so scared of the diagnosis of aspergers or autism is because I know its a disorder that mostly has to do with emotions and socializing. myself being a very emotion driven person and am very social (almost to a fault) and I have a younger brother with aspies wesuspect my other brother as well as my father as well of aspergers. I have a very hard time connecting with them. I try so hard and I love them so much but I can't connect. I had no problems connecting with my autistic clients, but for whatever reason I can't with my own family members. I was afraid that would happen with my son when he got older. It was fine when my brother was really young...he was just really hyper and didn't like to be cuddled much but he was fun to play with. but now that he's older I sometimes have a hard time carrying a conversation with him. I was just afraid that that would happen with Brady because he is the most important person in the world to me. I know it sounds stupid but I have my quirks too. I tend to over think and get myself worked up over something that really isn't that serious.