Why is that everything he touch has to break or get damages

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I am finding at the moment maybe it teenage stuff but my son who is 12yrs old AS and well developed as he is going through puberty much faster than his peers but he is breaking or damaging things that are of value or personal value to the family what I mean is that he thinks it ok to break things shut doors or cupboards in a way that brakes them hand held games broken car door banged as he gets in not like u do it when your annoyed everthing aggressive even his tone of voice is not acceptable maybe he doesnt realise his own strenght he also has damaged Ipods, earphones and when you confront him he is very aggressive about it he doesnt deliberately brake things but it happens over time. Has anyone experience the same or understand what I am describing, Thanks!

I am going to answer assuming you are not actually trolling the site. The way you talk about your child makes me suspicious, but here I go anyway.

Apraxia is VERY common amongst people with Autism, and children are clumsy to begin with. Don't hold this against him and give him a complex.

+1

High testosterone is not unheard of. Nor is dyspraxia. It's possible he's really stressed out or has suffered and is angry or doesn't know what to do with negative feelings or has turned them inward so long and hurt so much he can't do it anymore. It's possible he's a rotten brat who hates you. It's possible puberty is causing mood swings (hormonal roller-coaster that it is, I wouldn't be surprised) or upsetting him with all those changes... It's possible you're exaggerating or perceive a pattern where others would perceive a few isolated incidents. It's possible he's trying to communicate.

Annamaria, my 13 is and always has been very destructive. He doesn't mean to be; he just is. He needs to be in constant motion because of his AS (some AS vary, but I've got a constant motion one) and he isn't consciously tuned in to what those motions do. He's clumsy, and his strength is growing.

We accepted years ago that destruction is a fact of our life with this child. If something is important to us, we lock it away, or store it out of his reach. In many ways we've still got and will always have a toddler proofed house. When the sofa finally gave in to the wear, I went shopping with one requirement: get me something as indestructible as possible. Seriously, I walk into a store and when they ask what I have in mind I speak one word: indestructible. Drives our whole decor.

We have a constant dialogue with him about trying to learn to be at least a little more aware, and he wants to do better, but it is really hard for him. It's not like he only breaks things we care about; he also breaks things he cares about, although he's pretty good at protecting his stuff from himself because he knows better than we do where to place it to reduce the odds of interaction.

He does seem to be able to reign it all in when out in public, but there is limited shelf life for how many hours a day he can do that, so we just can't ask it at home. Yes, there was a time we tried, but it increased his internal stress exponentially and increased the frequency of meltdowns. Given the choices, I decided the wish for a beautiful home had to exit my life.

+2

Thanks for you responses I am new to this my son had been diagnosised with ADHD, ODD and just recently AS. Behaviours that would have annoyed me and my husband in the past I am just trying to be more understanding and trying to figure out if its part of AS so that when I am reacting that I do so in a way that is benefical as I am tried of this becoming arguements and I think when I have a better understanding that we will be able act appropriately.

I feel a great sense of relief as I was constantly questioning my parenting which will continue of course its all learning. Hopefully I can now relax and do the best I can.

He will been assessed by an OT in the next couple of weeks hopefully this will be helpful!

Thanks again for your Kind reponses

mine is 5 and he also destroys things. toys, furniture, winows, the house itself...if it can break he will break it. i also went shopping for furniture and had to request "something that won't get destroyed by my kid who destroys everything" in fact his older sister calls him the Distructor. she is also AS and gets very attached to things so it is hard on her.

Possible curiosity to see how things work? That's what my parents told me was the explanation when I asked them. I kind of remember that, but also the fact just to see if I could. It's hard to explain, but it is curiosity on all the levels you can really think of. Maybe I was mad and it was the only thing that made me feel better. Sometimes it was what they said and other times I just wanted to see if I could put it back together.

Hope that's clear.

With the "24 yr okd" I'm dealing with, I have noticed:

- The action does not appear to be deliberate; that is, not in a 'fit of range' or anger.

(once in a whie: )

* seems he doesn't know how gentle to handle something
e.g., he know how eggs are gentle, but a cabinet door or a heavey truck door get te same level of slam until I bring it to his attention . . .he does, often, remember from then on.

* something does not fit his needs. so rather then 'carefully disassemble & modifity', it's more like 'rip & tear, cut & twist' until is does what he want. He did that with a computer power spply I fixed for him. He needed it 'modified' later . . .he 'tore it apart' and 'hodge poge' managed to get it to work . . .no intent/concept/desire (?) to make it neat / re-packaged.. In 'I think this is what he's thinking' opinion -> It works, neatnesss doesn't make it work better" . .

lol thats what i refer to as frankensteining. my SO does it all the time. we have 5 computers in our home and they are all home built machines, every time we upgrade or have to replace something, he frankensteins the machine together. he will at least put the sides back on, since those serve to keep dust out, but if its a temporary fix or something purely aesthetic, he doesnt bother with making things "nice". i went to fix a malfunctioning machine last week and was appalled. the side panel was missing, the entire front panel of the case was missing, all drive bay covers gone, the motherboard was held in by ONE screw, there were no screws into the back of the case stabilizing the video and sound cards... apparently it was in a temporary fix state while we were waiting for a new motherboard. i think it stopped working out of protest to its ugliness =)

something i notice a lot of with my SO and K is that once an object is used, its no longer part of the equation. for instance, making dinner, once a package is opened and the contents in hand, the box is no longer of consequence and ends up anywhere. once a cupboard door is opened and a pan retrieved, the cupboard door isnt even seen. once a toy is no longer of interest, it falls to the floor. makes it very difficult to keep things clean and tidy =/ i think this contributes to the frankensteining, as once something works, theres no need to mess with it further just to make it look neat.

we bought a new couch too this past year. we made sure it was a good quality one that would stand up to the kids and my SO. we paid extra for a 5 yr full coverage warranty and stain guarding. and we've already put both to good use heh. i cant say that the "heavy handedness" is something they grow out of, as my SO is still the same way sometimes. he is still extremely hard on furniture and contributed to busting our last couch because of how he drops/throws himself down when he sits. hes on his third computer chair in less than 2 years. but he has learned to be more careful with most things. i think that is something that will come as an adult when they have to start paying to replace things they break.

My 'yet to be dxed' Daughter at fourteen has had five mobile phones, two ds's and broken all of them. She walks through muddy puddles and ruins shoes and boots and also has to be constantly reminded to talk quieter and to do things quietly. When she is in the kitchen, I hide and pray to whoever is listening!!

D never seems to be able to care for anything! She bounces the laptop around like its a ball!! !!

Oh and the pint of pop, always finds itself decorating the floor!

You are not alone with this, I have had doors broken.

I taught her to ride her bike at 9 years and we spent a whole summer bike riding down railway tracks, she fell off so many times. Ilost my nerve, not her, ME!

I have never chastised or critisised her for this but if I am around when she does it, she cries as if I am going to hang her by her feet from the ceiling!

Gentle reminders work with her but they have to be at the right time. With the loud voice I just signal a little visual gesture. I try not to overload her with lots of verbal and I rarely say things twice, instead, I back it up with gesture. This is not because she is not able to understand, it just takes a little sensory away. It seems to be working. You should try it!

I have a feeling that kids with Aspergers dont cope well with nagging!

As I read your responses I am smiling and laughing I do my best not to get annoyed but I also have a husband who is a perfectionist and all his property looks like it just came out of a box so when my son gets his hands on it my husband has to replace it. I have one who is heavy handed I dont think he means to cause damage and a husband who gets upset when things get damaged and somehow I made to feel responsible and my daughter who has not been diagnosed but has a lot of AS traits losing everything and manages to destroy things in a ways that you could not make up.

As I am begining to understand I think I will handle things better maybe!