Explaining puberty and the FOL

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Guys I need some guidance on how to go about explaining to my 10 yr old (almost 11 yr old) daughter about puberty and the changes that will be happening to her soon (she's already starting to develop up top!). She is very immature for her age and tbh I'm at a loss as how to approach this with her. With my elder daughter (NT) it was very easy, as we had always had an open approach policy, which led to her asking questions etc. My youngest isn't like that, and is very private about body matters. I really don't have a clue as to the best way to explain periods etc without freaking her out, or making her embarassed.

DS started early on this stuff: wanted detailed explanations about sex and body parts very early on. I finally found this book at the local library: Mommy Laid an Egg: Or, Where Do Babies Come from? - it's humorous, gentle - and a little bit graphic, so be prepared. It helped a lot, as I struggled a bit to explain to my very technically-minded son.

When we realized there were some hygiene issues my son was concerned about, I found a book for my son at a local bookstore that really did a good job outlining everything in a very Aspie sort of way (even though it wasn't written with Aspies in mind) and covered everything thoroughly, including body odor and stuff that one might forget. I gave it to DS, and let him know that if he had any questions about it, he could ask my husband or myself. The book is Just for Boys, A book about Growing Up. There is a Just for Girls book, too, though I haven't read it.

The next time I found the book in his room, I asked again if he had any questions (he's not any more embarrassed about that stuff than he is about anything else) and he asked a few. We started getting him to use deodorant, and talked about body hair, which he's a little worried about. It was very helpful to have the prep work done for me, so I didn't have to guess what he wanted to know, and he was able to learn at his own pace.

i thought the uk was fairly open about this type of stuff and would have thought it would have been covered in school like it is here.
a book definitely sounds like a good idea to start out with. i would probably read the book first and make sure she knows you'd like to discuss it with her after she reads it. i would probably want to add some moral guidance to what the book says. discussing it now, as uncomfortable as it may be, is an important step to her being able to come to you later on with questions. good luck!

HEY, why should she be embarassed? YOU, being female, ALSO have to deal with that. That is one reason why I think it is best that mothers explain to their daughters. And GEE, isn't she almost EXPECTING it? I mean she should have been told a bit earlier. And how did she react to the nipples, etc? HECK, maybe your older daughter can help. There are some times you just can't be private. Ever see the horror film "carey"? It starts out with her being horrified because she is bleeding in the school showers, and everyone is laughing because it is just her period. You would think most girls act like the middle sister on "seventh heaven", In the first show there there is a scene where she is depressed. She goes into the restroom, and her little sister is listening outside as her bigger sister CHEERS! She got her first period.

It's a shame things have to work as they do, but it is part of a female's life. It shows she is becomming a woman. It shouldn't be embarassing, etc.... Just maybe get a book that presents it well, and tell her what will be happening over the next few years, etc... It is just a phase of life. So what if only about 51% of the population goes through it. She has a LOT of company.

And if she is a girl that likes babies and/or wants a child, etc... I imagine the talk could be kind of neat.

Thanks everyone for your replies missykrissy, the UK is very open on these things, and she will have sex ed classes in school in a few months, which is why I really need to prepare her now. As I've said, with her elder sister she naturally asked questions and had everything explained to her very easily and age appropriately. My youngest does not, and as I've said is not as mature for her age as she should be, I'd say emotionally she's about the age of a 6/7 yr old, which is why she's not asked questions yet imo. Hence the need for me to explain things to her without her being ready (cause if I don't the school will, and as her mum this is my job).

2ukenker, she is SO not a girl that likes babies lol, or wants kids. She thinks they are icky, annoying, noisy and irritating, so will have to tread carefully on that aspect of it lol.

momsparky, thank you for the input, and I am now off to amazon to see if I can pick up a copy of the girls book Much appreciated.

Luckily, in the UK, she has a choice!

BTW when I was about 6, I didn't want kids EITHER. I had ideas even THEN about how I wanted my life to be now. Decades later, I thought it would have been nice. She may feel the same.