Second child with Aspergers?

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I already have a son with Aspergers who was diagnosed at 11 and is now 16. He has gone through many years of difficulties but now is extremely successful other than having no interest in developing relationships with his peers. My daughter is almost 8. They have different fathers. I never thought my daughter could have Aspergers because I knew so much about it already and her behaviors, personality are so outgoing, clingy, talkative, makes full eye contact, etc. But now, with her still having so many difficulties and looking at what problems do go with Aspergers... it seems she could have it. She's been emotionally intense since birth, she's had severe mood swings, negativity, stubborness, controlling, immature, impulsive, hyperactive, somatic complaints, etc. I blamed a lot on having her home and not at a day care when she couldn't cope with kindergarten. It was horrible. She was sent home everyday for behavior problems to the point I ended up homeschooling her and enrolled her in a pre-school program to help her with social skills. She started out first grade ok, but the social problems continued. She was referred for services but they said she didn't qualify. Her psych eval looked horrible but they chaulked it up to immaturity. In Nov this year she started behavior charts again (second grade) and a month ago was suspended for two days for biting another child. She has a milk allergy and since figuring that out her behavior is better but when she gets it by accident she goes crazy for several days. She's paranoid, tempermental, emotionally a basketcase, tantrums, etc She is being evaluated again right now. I did a Theory of Mind test on her after realizing she believes other people know everything she knows and she failed. I guess it is looking like she could have it? But what a different look it has in a girl if so??

AS presents different in girls, definitely, and also can vary a lot just by individual due to personality differences, co-morbids, etc. I am totally blanking on his name but the Australian AS expert has a book out on AS in girls.

My boy/girl twins both have AS and both are very different
I think the Australian expert DW is referring to is Tony Attwood, he wrote an excellent guide on AS but also another book called Aspergers and Girls (ISBN-10: 9781932565409). I preferred a book by Liane Holliday Willey called Pretending to be Normal (ISBN-10: 9781853027499).

Immaturity is one of the classic things that Tony Attwood points out in aspie girls. They look 'normal' at a glance but if you look a bit longer, a bit harder, the differences can be astounding. That is exactly what happened to my 8yo daughter. I forced the school to look harder with a full evaluation and her challenges were overwhelmingly obvious to someone who knew what they were looking for.

You can ask for a reevaluation specific for autistic spectrum. Even if it's not Asperger's, suggesting that they look for it might get them to look a bit closer at the things you think they are missing.

Just to add a couple more reasons of how I think it may be Aspergers. She is all about cats. Reading books, buying stuffed animals, acting like a cat, etc and has for years. She has an IQ of 126. She has a large variability on her Wisc between her average verbal comprehension/perceptual and low working memory/processing speed just like my son did. However, the psychologist last year remarked that she was too young to tell if it meant anything. She has a lot of trouble with math but has been reading since age 4. She has a huge vocabulary and can remember details of what has happened from months and years ago with accuracy. Now she is into pokemon cards and a pokemon video game. She says things like she thinks she should just turn into a boy which is a gender identity issue I remember my son having. It's just the eye contact and desire to be with others, seeking attention that made me never consider she could possibly have Aspergers.

Hi we just found out that our 8 year old daughter has aspergers, She also thinks she was a cat but it has changed now to a dragon. She gets very upset over the smallest things. Finds school hard, Finds making friends hard. Can't read peoples body language, emotions confuse her. Doesn't like noise etc sister crying, heaps of people talking, police cars etc.
She gets very angry if her sisters go on and her.
Even tho she's 8 she's more like a 4 year old when it comes to play.
I would love to hear from Mum's that have aspie girls. share stories weird things they do and why?

thanks Cha xx

my 12yo also went through the animal phase. for her it was dogs though. i think it was about 3 years that she was a dog. she used to crawl behind me while i did my shopping(gross, i know) because it was the only way she would co-operate with doing it and i had no choice but to take her. she still barks at people sometimes when they get into her peronal space or if she thinks they are doing something against her. she also has every dog and cat book we could find and reads them regularely and collects stuffed dogs. i'm all good with the dogs though. when i was her age it was boys, so dogs are much better than that.

Is it paranoia or anxiety you are seeing with her?

To me, it sounds like she needs an evaluation.

Thanks for all the responses! She is currently being evaluated through the school for everything. Her primary issues are immaturity (by at least two years like my AS son), lack of ability to carry over social experiences to make better future decisions, yelling, persevating on topics, talking endlessly but one-sided conversation. Her most difficult classes are the same as my AS son, recesses and gym.

I just got a social eval for parent to fill out for my AS son (they already have him diagnosed as AS so I'm not sure why they are doing it again). Anyway, read through the form and some hit the mark with my daughter and others do not. She currently has a behavior plan and receives rewards mid-day and in the afternoon for good behavior.

Well she sounds very similar to my 6 year old girls who was recently diagnosed with Aspergers! I think girls have their own little set of criteria for Asperger's that is related to the boys version (all the research has been done on mostly boys).

My daughter is also immature, has to have things a certain way or she will melt down, she has poor emotional regulation, is impulsive, conversations are one-sided, she tries to control everything and everyone (she is constantly telling us what to do), lacks appropriate social skills (gets in others space, doesn't take no for an answer, has to have her own way etc.), knows how she should respond in situations but when in the situation she acts innaprpriately.

She also makes believe she is a cat often! Sometimes she is a chipmunk or even a made up animal! She crawls/hops around on all 4 fours and is quite skilled at this! She will take food and put it in little bowls and eat it like she is an animal and call the food "kitty treats" or whatever animal she is. I think she has a great imagination and used to think this was normal behavior as she is our first born.

She gets in trouble at school often. If something doesn't go her way she may crumble up her paper or hit another student. She can focus but sometimes she is in her own little world and does not hear the teachers directions. Then she gets upset because she doesn't know what to do. Instead of asking for help, she will meltdown.

We are trying to figure out ways to help her. I am tired of rewarding for "good behavior" and "consequences for bad behavior" because that does not CHANGE behavior!

Glad to not be alone in this. Where are you all from?

We are in Maine. Your girls do sound just like my daughter. Wow... Exactly the same as far as the behaviors. I totally get what you are saying about being tired of the rewards/consequences when they just "don't get it" regardless.

As a mom with a son who has Aspergers, I know it can be a long and winding road... He is 16 and doing great now, but there were quite a few rough years. Time and maturity make such a difference. I remember figuring out with my son that self-esteem was everything and that he never responded to punishments. I will have to focus on this with my daughter. She just had a huge meltdown this morning in front of her new best friend as her friend was leaving. She is overtired from the sleepover and when she is overtired she just meltsdown and tantrums at the drop of a hat. It's 10:30AM here in Maine and she is asleep taking a nap....

Your girl sounds like my second son, even the cat thing. Though mine is not aggressive. He's also 8. He was just diagnosed with PDD-NOS so there's definitely a possibility. My first son has the same diagnosis but they're very different kids. With autism you just never know.

I am very partial to Rudy Simone and her book Aspergirls. Rudy has some invaluable information in her website. Here is a link to some tables she's created to address the different ways AS presents in girls and women. http://help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58d4f6 ... d4f6a.html

Pretty sure she has it now. It's all becoming clear. Going to have the psychologist that diagnosed my son do an eval on her. The schools psychologist's report on her was exactly the same as my son's when he was 10 - said she had ADHD, Anxiety and Bipolar. She doesn't have bipolar... It also showed variability in WISC with much lower working memory and coding... All her behaviors were just like my sons... He even had somatic complaints like she does. It also pointed out she has sensory issues.

How she is different from my son is that she is sensory seeking not avoiding. She doesn't stim, makes eye contact fine and has no problem with food textures. Everything else is textbook GIRLS aspergers as I wrote earlier in this thread. I just looks really different in girls... I would have never guessed it.... I think her being almost 8 is a pretty good age to figure out she has it though. School is giving her special services under Emotional Disability which is fine for now. Eventually I'd like her labeled correctly though because as I learned with my son, once you get the "autism" label do they tell you about the other services they qualify for...