Positive rant about my son's teachers

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schleppenheimer
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31 Mar 2011, 1:11 pm

First of all, it's been an amazingly crappy week, with my son's ADD meds not working (for the billionth time -- we are running out of meds to try) -- SO, this positive rant is coming after a week of multiple balls being dropped by myself, my son, and my perception of the teachers. My son's had a lot of pressure (first year of high school in main-stream classes), and he's tired and depressed.

So, I check what his grades are online, knowing, seriously KNOWING that he's going to be getting mostly B's with a few A's sprinkled in (after his working REALLY hard for A's all term). Much to my surprise, at least three teachers have somehow MAGICALLY bumped up his grade from B's to A's. I don't know how they did it, or why, but I was shocked. This is truly a little bit of "the kindness of strangers" sort of situation.

We have been blessed with seriously terrific teachers for my son. It's been a really rough year, because my son does NOT pay attention in class -- he has to work triple hard AFTER school to make up for what he misses DURING school. Meds have helped slightly with his speed doing homework after school, but have done nothing for paying attention IN school. The teachers have worked with us, have contacted us when there are slight problems, and have shown real concern for my son. I know this isn't easy -- I know that it's hard to understand exactly what his needs are. But they've honestly done a heck of a job. Huzzah to the teachers!



DW_a_mom
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31 Mar 2011, 1:27 pm

We have some teachers like that this year. It is nice :)

After getting a mid-quarter report in the fall indicating my son was getting a D in a subject he knows inside and out because he was (a) forgetting to turn in work he had done IN CLASS and that the teacher had SEEN him do and (b) he is a horrible note taker (they grade study notes, seriously), I vented my frustration out a bit with one teacher and, amazingly enough, she's fogiven me and might even now almost agree with me ... Regardless, we seem to be in this pattern of mid-quarter C's in at least one class, then a round of my son meeting with his teachers to figure out what is missing, special allowances, and finally an A- or B+ on the report card. If we could just get past the executive disfunction problem he'd be a straight A student ... and there isn't a teacher who doesn't agree on that, and who also doesn't realize executive disfunction is part of the AS, but rubrics are rubrics and they must be "fair" to everyone else, too. Still, I think my son gets frustrated with the process, of constantly having to advocate for himself and rely in a way on the kindness of others, but I suppose its a life skill, eh? I'm proud of him for having made so much progress in that area, of self-advocacy, that is sooo hard for AS kids. Anyway. Um ... sorry for venting my story in your thread ;)


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schleppenheimer
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31 Mar 2011, 4:46 pm

No, DW_a_mom - I'm glad that you told your situation. It all sounds VERY familiar. Yes, your son is probably getting REALLY good at advocating for himself. It's too bad that he has to, isn't it?

I'll bet you have the same concern I have -- so, what does our kid do when they get to college, and the professors don't know them as well and probably won't cut them any slack? Scares me to death.

Also -- at least your son is in a sort of learning process about how to take notes. For some reason, at my son's school, they basically print a power point presentation of their lectures, with a few empty spaces where the students fill in the blanks. I don't think that there's one class where my son has to honestly write his own notes (i.e., decide what it is important enough to write down, and then WRITE IT). I don't know how he's ever going to learn that skill -- especially when he still isn't paying attention in class!

But, I guess we're lucky that we have some nice teachers. Maybe their skills will improve as our sons mature...



DW_a_mom
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31 Mar 2011, 5:20 pm

schleppenheimer wrote:
No, DW_a_mom - I'm glad that you told your situation. It all sounds VERY familiar. Yes, your son is probably getting REALLY good at advocating for himself. It's too bad that he has to, isn't it?

I'll bet you have the same concern I have -- so, what does our kid do when they get to college, and the professors don't know them as well and probably won't cut them any slack? Scares me to death.

Also -- at least your son is in a sort of learning process about how to take notes. For some reason, at my son's school, they basically print a power point presentation of their lectures, with a few empty spaces where the students fill in the blanks. I don't think that there's one class where my son has to honestly write his own notes (i.e., decide what it is important enough to write down, and then WRITE IT). I don't know how he's ever going to learn that skill -- especially when he still isn't paying attention in class!

But, I guess we're lucky that we have some nice teachers. Maybe their skills will improve as our sons mature...


A lot of AS adult posters on here have said they flourished in the college high stakes grading rubric. Midterm, final, paper. Due dates they could remember, and that finally graded them on how much they felt they had learned and retained, instead of how well they showed the process of learning. I think my son will be like that, although I guess we'll have to be ready for one total bomb somewhere along the line where he gets too cocky and thinks he knows what he doesn't actually know.

I can't say that the learning process on how to take notes helps my son at all. He can't DO the methods they teach for various reasons, even though he realizes he can't rely on his sponge brain forever. Most universities will allow tape recording, and that may be one option. Another is buying notes, which is a bit imperfect but that keeps you focused on the lecture, instead of on the note noting. It is something we're in contact with the schools about because there are a couple of areas of disability there, including the physical issue in his hands (he has to keyboard to write) and the mental one of multi-tasking (he is either writing or he is listening; he cannot do both). I'm hoping he'll get to the point with keyboarding where he won't have to think or see to type, in which case it won't really be multitasking; you're just letting your fingers transcribe the lecture (I can do that, myself, actually), but that takes years and years of keyboarding and we don't know if his brain will ever integrate that way. So ... some of that is still a wait and see.

It is too bad he has to advocate for himself but I can't regret that he's learning it so early. My husband still struggles with it, as do many with AS it seems. I don't know if it's my son's personality that has helped with that, or necessity; I just know we've nudged him on it and he's actually started to do it. In some ways that has him miles ahead of many NT kids his age, too.

He is such an odd mix even for an Aspie that sometimes I don't know if I should be worrying or celebrating. Sometimes I get so eager to be able to look through the crystal ball and just know what will prove to be an asset, and what we should have worked on but never did. We're flying so blind at times! But, we keep on keeping on, what else is there to do? And I THINK he's doing great. He'll need to buckle down and pick up a better resume for the college application process, but I think he's finally in a position to do that.


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gadge
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02 Apr 2011, 1:30 am

schleppenheimer wrote:
No, DW_a_mom - I'm glad that you told your situation. It all sounds VERY familiar. Yes, your son is probably getting REALLY good at advocating for himself. It's too bad that he has to, isn't it?

I'll bet you have the same concern I have -- so, what does our kid do when they get to college, and the professors don't know them as well and probably won't cut them any slack? Scares me to death.

Also -- at least your son is in a sort of learning process about how to take notes. For some reason, at my son's school, they basically print a power point presentation of their lectures, with a few empty spaces where the students fill in the blanks. I don't think that there's one class where my son has to honestly write his own notes (i.e., decide what it is important enough to write down, and then WRITE IT). I don't know how he's ever going to learn that skill -- especially when he still isn't paying attention in class!

But, I guess we're lucky that we have some nice teachers. Maybe their skills will improve as our sons mature...


Dont be scared,....

A little look into the future and you might be suprised...
My father and I , ..both aspie and very different from each other as well,

Quick father bio: at 16 he managed/coached a 12-14yr old baseball team,the other teams coach would yell "wher's the coach"...my dad would walk over. His first attemp at college didnt work out, lost his scholarship, Then he became a state trooper and did that for 20+yrs the whole time attending college..ended up with 6+ degrees. After retirement he started an international tour company. He has sat on a board of directors.And yes he played with model trains, designed his own house etc

Quick son info(me...at 16 I was painting houses, and dealing in antiques,I wasnt sure what to do after HS..so I was a cook for a couple of yrs. Wanted a change..joined Army,after that, I built houses,and appt buildings,then by chance got a job in a factory, Now a master fitter/fab in petro/chem for 22+yrs,and worked on every "top end"project,and did design/quality improvemt projects I work on $300,000 race cars .And now I am getting into law..mainly rights of the disabled, my most current "project" is a fortune 500 company, and winning

No not trying to ignore your current situation, sounds like you have some good teachers there, alot of my friends are teachers, I think college and those skills came easily for my dad,but not me,I really like to build and design,If future income is a concern,If you knew how much I make you'd be sick! after all I dont have a degree, I have turned down engineering jobs.and I scare them by finding errors

Well this aspie has gotten very good at advocating for his rights and others. I have a large company afraid. Trust me professors knew my dad, because he scared them,..by not missing any questions and knowjng the subject better

Point being >both aspie, both completely different, dad more white collar than blue collar me,Yes there were several years where neither one of us knew what to do,and even switched after a while, Both succesful and happy, For both of us a struggle at first, being different and sticking out,

....yes a royal pain....It was, and is worth it...you never know what the future will bring.....

Oh by the way,...his girlfriend of 25yrs till he passed away,was12yrs his younger, supermodel hot,with a Phd.with many of her own extra activities.......and super nice! ...
...and I miss him..