Does your child 'act autistic' more when angry/frustrated?

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Another post got me wanting to hear more elaboration on this:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt156355.html

I was reflecting on my own son and it seems that his behaviors really 'show' when he's upset about something (usually doesn't get his way and it tends to be around lunchtime). He starts making comments about things that have no relevance, get's violent (hits his father and sister with a hard fist), starts namecalling and insulting. Other times, he is calm.

I was talking with dh about his upcoming ADOS test and I was half joking and suggested that the Dr. should purposely make him mad (i.e. incite Dr. Bruce Banner to turn into the Hulk, lol)

What about your children?

Yes, my 5 year old has a ASD diagnosis and is highly verbal. Fluent reader already. Makes astute observations. And... completely dissolves in a heap when upset. She could be tired, getting sick, hungry, usually just over stimulated, and we see a lot of behaviors that we hadn't seen since before she'd started getting services.

At those times, we have to "regress" with her and respond as we did when she was 3 and banged her head on the floor, and or cried long and hard enough to make herself vomit. We give her a baby bottle, wrap her tightly in her security blanket, and encourage her to either sit with us, or in her hiding spot under the table. These meltdowns used to happen everyday, so every once in a while is not too upsetting anymore.

I think now that we've made a plan of action for getting her through rough patches, those times don't feel so overwhelming.
Her teachers haven't seen her like this, but they aren't suprised.

Obviously, I have no children, and am still pretty much a child myself, I can only relate because of my younger brother, who is autistic, and my own experience as an aspie. As you know, we aspies tend to have difficulty dealing with stronger emotions like anger. I tend to find that a persons true character tends to come out in highly emotional situations, and aspies are no different. However, since our anger can be unusually strong, we tend to revert back to our worst behavior. I tend to find that my autism is much more noticeable when I am dealing with strong emotions. Fortunately, this problem tends to diminish with age and experience.

Yes, absolutely. When things are going smoothly the only traits you can see with my daughter are some language pragmatics and social ones like the conversations are one-sided and she gets in other kid's space, she tries to control everything and everyone. But she comes across as a regular kid who is basically bossy and selfish. It is when things don't go smoothly that you can notice the "issues' more.

For the ADOS, if the doctor is a good one who has met lots of Asperger's/Autism kids and has a ton of knowledge they will be able to see the the aspects of autism that may appear subtle during time of calmness. They actually prefer the child be very cooperative during the testing.

I've noticed my behaviors get a lot more 'autistic' when I'm lacking sleep; so this could be just a general response to stress rather than specifically something frustrating or anger-inducing. Noticing this has been good for me, as being aware of it helps me (at least try to) correct it.

I'm not sure if that self-awareness would help your child; I'd say it depends on how self-conscious he is regarding social situations. If he is, realizing "oh man I look so autistic right now" may do nothing but spiral him further into anxiety.

Yes, I can relate. My son recently had an hour long episode after coming in the house from shopping. He just had a hamburger with fries all by himself. Then, dh fixed himself a bowl of cereal because he didn't eat that much when we were out. He swore up and down over and over and over and over that he was sooooooooooooo hungry which was impossible. He screamed and he hollered and he stomped. Finally, he sat down and fell asleep on the couch.

This has happened before, but it is rare. Also, he didn't get up extra early for me to expect sleepiness to be the cause. I'll try to remember that in the future. However, he'd probably resist my suggestion to take a nap since he's been nap free since he was around two.

Sorry about being unclear, I wasn't trying to imply sleepiness was the cause. I generally stay upbeat or at least neutral about most things, so lack of sleep is the main cause of my autistic behaviors "increasing", rather than anger/frustration. It's definitely tied to added stress (functioning on less sleep puts stress on my brain, trying to function normally with whatever caused the meltdown commanding the majority of his attention puts stress on his).

i think in my kids it is definitely more pronounced when they are upset. even my step-son who has the worst problems can seem normal when he wants to, like when we were trying to get him a diagnosis and he'd show up smiling, do all his tests well and leave happy. they'd think i was nuts for saying something wasn't right with him. then there are days like today, i don't know what is bothering him because he won't tell me but everything i say or do he is getting mad at me. he keeps saying 'i want......" followed by "I DON'T WANT IT!!" and the requested item being flung across the room. then the screaming and crying and hitting begins. he also looses his ability to communicate effectively. i try to talk to him and it's like he doesn't understand a word i'm saying, he stands there staring blankly at me. if i ask again hoping it'll get in there somehow he falls to the ground screaming and making horrible noises. i know i'm supposed to help him avoid these meltdowns but now that he's in it i don't know what to do. i sent him for quiet time in his room, at least that way i know no one is bugging him unintentionally and making it worse(probably me) and that he's not going to attack the other kids.

I will ditto this - and I will go so far as to say it's a good way to evaluate how well a doctor understands autism. I was thinking the same as you - afraid we'd never get anywhere unless DS lost it in front of a doctor...but he did the ADOS just fine (he was mildly nervous, but reasonably calm the whole time) and they came away with an amazing amount of spot-on information (much of which we'd missed completely. I'm so grateful to have that information now!)

yeah....Mum has noticed...especially when i am sick...LOL

Anxiety, stress, hunger, exhaustion... all things that can derail things quickly. Think about it - all the things that an Aspie needs to constantly have running through their head all day long. Just because we learn a social skill, that doesn't mean it was absorbed and incorporated into the operating system. It's in there as a rote memory that needs to be recalled on a repeated basis. An Aspie mind is ALWAYS busy - when you add something big into that mix like anger, or too much stimulation of an already overstimulated brain - things break down kinda quick.

I've read others hear describe coping abilities as 'building up stamina' and I have to agree, that's what my life has been. A constant acquiring of new knowledge and building my mental and emotional reserves so I can handle ever increasing amounts of input. If this is the case, I'd imagine kids don't quite have those reserves built up yet.

I have been wondering about this. My daughter seems like she is always thinking about something. Half the time she ignores me but I think she really is not hearing me call her name because she is so deep in thought or focused on something else. When we do homework (kindergarten) I will say "OK, ready for directions?" She will say "yes." So I give her the directions and then she looks at me and says "what?" and she hasn't listened to anything I said! Is this an Aspie thing???

sick, tired, upset... they all can cause an increase in the behavioral traits. its just like with any of us, when we are stressed in some way, we are unable to deal as effectively as when we feel more usual, we need to employ more coping mechanisms. for autistics, that means being less able to cope with sensory issues or other triggers, and often a correlating increase in stimming behavior.

in our house, thats referred to as having an autistic day or moment. noises are a little louder, clothes are a little more annoying, things simply dont go the way they should, there are much more tears and frustrations, and meltdowns ensue. we are farily well attuned to be able to see when its that kind of day, it often shows itself right upon waking =)

this happens with ALL of my boys, from 5 to 39, but it is most noticeable in my NT 7 yr old. when he gets overly tired or low blood sugar from hunger, his behavior crosses the border into what we see from his autie brother. uncontrollable and irrational tantrums and crying without the ability to pull himself back from the edge or stop the meltdown. yet hes NT, for now =) we are keeping an eye on that one.

My daughter and I have very similar expressions of our aspiness - in homework it was a combination of anticipating many steps ahead thus missing the here and now explanation and/or the homework does NOT interest me so I'm off thinking about something I do like. My daughter also has the added challenge of ADHD. Very AS if you ask me.

I didn't realize that everyone didn't have a constant stream of thought in their heads at all times. In fact, when I don't have a thought in there - when sick or on medication - it is terrifying. I also think in pictures. I'm very visual and just like a computer, that seems to eat up alot of mental RAM. I also did not find out that everyone didn't think in picture until my 20's. It was quite disturbing to come to that realization. I actually felt real bad for people that couldn't because thinking in crystal clear pictures is kinda awesome!

Right. I would add that an Aspie child may do better with visual prompts for homework - this gets easier when they are older and you can put the instructions in a bulleted list (the fewer words, the better) and point to each step as you to it.

Some ideas for a kindergartener, you may have an easier time doing stick-figure drawings of each step and pointing to those. If that doesn't work for you, take it a single step at a time (remember - "pick up your pencil" is a step, there are no implied steps for a kid on the spectrum) and have her repeat each step back to you as she does it; wait until it is done to move on.

I definitely agree with the bulleted list idea; sometimes when my mom and I are talking she'll get worked up about something that hasn't been done (for example, registration starts Monday and I have yet to receive a response to an email regarding registration that I sent), and she will immediately launch into "well you need to do ___ and ___ and ___ and..." and I get completely lost trying to process what exactly it is that I'm supposed to be doing and when. I'll say "whoa, whoa, hold on: send me an email with all this in it." The email is always clearly organized and broken down into a logical progression of steps rather than a mess of "must-do's". It's also handy to be able to pull out my Blackberry at any time and read the email again.

This is also probably a good practice to do yourself; it's much easier to get stressed about having to move one big rock than it is about having to move several small ones. There's also the satisfaction you get from being able to see progress. Say you spend all day setting up a lever to move that big rock. Sure, you've gotten most of the work done, but your brain sees the rock in the same place and thinks "well dang, I haven't made any progress". With the smaller stones, you can see the number dwindling every time you move one. Sorry for the lame metaphor, it was just an easy one.