Planning a Thomas the Tank Engine Party... Again!

Post Reply New Topic

Hi everyone,

I sure could use some advice on planning my son's 9th birthday party. He was recently diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD (although I've known for years).

Every year he says he wants a Thomas-themed party. This year is no different, but I really feel like he's getting "too old" for Thomas in social situations. I want to invite some of his school mates and I know they aren't into Thomas from comments in previous years, but on the other hand many of them just know that my son likes Thomas and accept it.

Any advice? I've been thinking that maybe we do a separate family-only celebration with Thomas and let the party with his classmates be around something more age appropriate- but I'm just conflicted.

I was the same, as a little boy whose love for Thomas only dimmed as a teenager and remained only smaller ever after, I voted yes.

I have a copy of 'Thomas the Tank Engine' (the second of the original railway series) signed by Christopher Awdry who has been writing the books since the eighties and who invented Thomas and who he original stories were told to by his father Reverend Wilbert Awdry.

If his friends know he is still into Thomas and don't have a problem with it, then I say go ahead and throw him the Thomas-themed party. 2 separate parties would probably be too overwhelming for him anyway.

You tell him your reservations, ie that you think most of his friends have developed new interests and are no longer fond of Thomas (except as a memory), and you are worried they may not enjoy the party all that much as a result. He then makes an informed choice. It's his party, his choice, and true friends will understand that.

Age 9 birthdays are no longer social bridge builders in the way much younger birthdays can be. The parties get smaller and more focused on friendships that are standing the tests of time and maturity. You may have misspoken, but in my experience there really isn't, at this age, a place for "I (parent) want to invite some of his school mates" that aren't on the child's first choice list, even though it is super tempting and a socially inclusive thing to do. The last time I got away with it was when my oldest was 7.

hi as a mom to a 16 year old still obsessed with thomas i voted no to having a thomas themed party.
i agree with your idea of having a thomas party privately.

believe me you will do him no favours by having the thomas party for his friends.
explain to him that while its ok for him to still like thomas that others may not share his interest. it may lead to teasing and taunting later on and you need to protect him from that.

if you dont make a stand now it will be more difficult at time goes on.

wishing you the best of luck!

Unfortunately, I grew out of my Thomas the Tank Engine love by the time I was 7 so I can't be of much help.

In this way, I'm biased when I say "no" to the party theme. My reasoning would be, as freesia stated, that it might be beneficial to him now and in the future. Keeping the theme will only alienate him from friends and peers, especially now that they're getting older. Thus, I would agree with the private party idea.

Though, if you don't want to hold him a private party, you could give him a Thomas the Tank Engine related gift afterward. Then, if possible, explain to him why he can no longer have Thomas themed parties but can still retain his love for the franchise through play (Play, being essential to a child's development). Similarly, I had a teddy bear I still kept and played with throughout my teen years. I'm nearing 22 and am still fond of it.

It doesn't have to go away. Instead, try to let it evolve into another form.