How do you raise your children? (NT/AS both please.)

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I am just the older sister so this isn't my call but wanted parents eyes on this please. I had just got done reading some of my Social Problems text book and it discussed some lets say "Dirty sex" based stuff. I told mom that even I was grossed out by it (since I know of those female parts.) my 11 year old sister Katelyn was reading it (NOT the dirty stuff the page after (which I had bookmarked to read later.) When mom asked what's Katelyn doing I said looking at my textbook. She had a cow! THAT'S A COLLEGE TEXTBOOK!! ! ETC. IMO she wasn't reading the "dirty" part so IMO it was fine and honestly it was discussing gender differences how circumscion is ok for male yet for female depending on the country it is either ok or in U.S. case land you 10yr. in jail.

A very "Adult" topic mind you sex/those body parts. but she wasn't READING that part so IMO I see no problem or reason to have a cow SHEESH!! !! ! Personally I would have shown Katelyn Halloween and Exorcist by now!! !! ! So I ask the question how do you raise YOUR CHILDREN! When it comes to showing/talking/etc. hororr movies or if they see/read something like from my textbook (which AGAIN she wasn't reading that PART!)

The psyche of a child can be damaged for years if exposed to mature subject matter they aren't ready for. A basic job of a parent is to protect their children. Only they can decide what is too mature. I would not want any textbook you are describing near my 11 yo NT or my 9 yo aspie. Social Problems are hard for adults to understand, much more so children. But, like you said, it's your parents' call. Oh, BTW, many social problems are CAUSED by people being exposed to terrible things as children.

It depends entirely on the kid. My daughter can't read and may never read so I protect her more from visual media (certain movies). I can't remember what I was reading at 11 but my parents were very of the philosophy that if you are able to figure out what the words mean, you can handle it. I could, so that worked out.

Your mom is going by what she thinks will work for your sister. This is something that can't be generalized from one kid to another. What is ok for one kid is too much for another.

The 'birds and the bees' is kind of a parenting rite of passage. what your sister was reading may have been 'basic' but it really is in the realm of 'mom's business'. A mother and father usually have the discussion what to discuss when, what do feel they are ready for... whether you feel she is correct or not, it is best to defer to her in this one.

It's one of the 'holy grail' moments of parenthood. Don't take it away from her.

My kids lead. If they ask questions, I answer them. Just the question. No more, no less. If they want to see or read something I consider inappropriate for their age we discuss why I feel that way, and then see if they still want to see it - - they rarely do. The once or twice they have, it wasn't anything too far off age, and then we watched together and talked about it. Neither one has the stomach for a horror film so it's not even been an issue, and I'm certainly not going to show them a movie they aren't interested in and that would give them nightmares. I'd guess your text book probably wouldn't have had much new for them as for as biology goes, but they might find the cultural aspects interesting; they both read well above grade level and have an interest in science and sociology well above grade level; totally impersonal for them, it's academic. But if they got to the explicit part, I would bet money they'd slam it shut rather than see or read it, and then tell me I should warned them and not let them open the book They do value their childhood, after all. As for the movies you mention, they are grateful to have never seen either.

Thanks for all the replies. It got into the female private parts related to sex so it was a touchy topic. I agree the sex talk is a parent thing and even I was grossed out by what was in the text and I am an adult.

I'm the same as DW. We have a human development book for year seven at our house. It has line drawings. When my son asks a questions we reference the appropriate parts of the book. Honest, direct answers. I would also have a cow if an older sibling was showing him something from a college textbook. That is definitely the realm of parents. Of course, a lot of the time kids do get this information from older siblings. It can definitely be more damaging to a child on the spectrum to receive information they are not ready for.

My kid is eight and he gets frightened by zombie cat cartoons. I imagine Halloween and Exorcist are a long way off for him. I don't even like watching those types of movies because they trouble me and make it difficult to carry out daily tasks.

A different point of view from a brother and being parented and watching my parents raise my two younger brothers.

I was the kid seeking knowledge. At 8 years old I wouldn't accept the Bees and Bird stories. I wanted the actual information. I prefer specifics over shelter. My dad taught me for the real world. I remember watching horror movies at my age, and being introduced into maturer and maturer topics. Because the things is kid are essentially going to be adults. They should be raised as if they are going to be adults in their life. A child who doesn't know information at a certain age is naive and isn't ready for the real world.

Even my younger brothers saught knowledge at a very young age.

All though I emit, I was very mature for my age. For being 8, I was much old and mature then the kids around me. I was the kid stuck in the middle of a failing education and the dying age of being informed.

To much censorship can be a bad thing.

Shoot I have been playing Mature rated video games since I was very young.

I think people think kids are to fragile sometimes. I think people think kids will break so easily. But the truth is they won't.

@Pandora: I believe if kids are reading for information they should be provided with it, which is what I do with my son. Providing someone factual answers to their questions (not birds and bees) is important. Providing more information than a child is ready for can be damaging. What information a child is ready for is meant to be determined by parents, though sometimes parents obviously struggle with factual information when it comes to reproduction and sex. We treat reproduction and "mating" at our house the same way we treat any other body function. We don't have cutesy names for genitalia and never have.

My son's favourite movie when he was three was 'Day of the Triffids'. He could watch that without it bothering him. He could also watch a fair few rated M movies (here M is mature for 16+), but others he cannot. It depends on the child, the input, what they can deal with and what they can't. My son was terrified by a deodorant ad for about six months.

My 2 children know a lot about the sexual reproduction organs already. they were both getting distressed over my sons penis and my daughters vaginal area. So i went into detail and told the whole story and now they both make comments. "eg ***** has eggs that will one time make babies." "******* has a penis, that makes urine and semen comes out."

Why lie?

Same. Mine knows all about menstrual periods because it's just he and I in the house. It became distressing for him once seeing me "bleeding" so we went through the human development book, I explained the uterine lining as a pillow that the baby rests in when it is developing. If you're not having a baby the body doesn't need the pillow so out it comes. Since it's in your body where everything is made from cells, it is also made of cells. Even though it looks like "bleeding" it is not the same kind of red blood cells "bleeding" that happens when we are cut or hurt. He actually stopped the explanation about 3/4 in proclaiming "Ok then, I think I've heard enough about THAT now."

It's not lying to be selective and discrete about what information is made available to them at certain ages, Solvejg.

It's all about age and maturity and the individual.

I don't have a problem with violent films and video games with my children (7 & 10) because they're very clear on what is real vs what is pretend. We frequently watch "the making of..." shows so that they understand. If I see that they're uncomfortable at any point, it's turned off. I'm always available for discussions and will talk to them about whatever they ask.

I've also got interactions with a scout group but for these kids everything is censored to the lowest common denominator. I'm not permitted to judge what they can or cannot see - so I restrict to society's laws - and then some. For example, we were going to screen "The Girl Who Leapt through time" which is PG. I canned it because of one line in the film which may have connotations.

The shows I have most problems with are those with frequent swearing (South Park), real situations (eg: Jaws because sharks really exist) and dangerous copyable behaviour (eg: Jackass). I'm not saying that my kids can't watch those shows but if they do, they're strictly monitored and we talk about it afterwards.

We don't fast-forward or close our eyes during sex in films. My kids know that it's "boring sex" and we don't make a big deal out of it.

Regarding rude words; my family doesn't hold back. These things are natural. We don't make a big deal out of it but at the same time, we try to keep things at the kids level. We don't deliberately expose them to rude pictures, films or discussions but if they ask, we'll explain as best we can without going overboard.

As parents we want to be as approachable as possible because otherwise the kids will become secretive.