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I am a mother of a 12year old boy that was diagnosed with ADD (focus) issue. We have tried different meds and behavior mods, but nothing seems to be doing the trick. He has improved, but there are still issues. There is a long history of undiagnosed ADD and ADHD in the family on both sides. There is also 1 cousin that does have Asperger's. My son's diagnosis came about after a melt down that ended him in the ER (they initially said it was clinical depression). I still see behaviors that seem to be consistent with Asperger's and feel the need to validate. My son seems very smart, he does have trouble interacting with boys his own age (sometimes better than others), he tries to control play with others, he seems to play better with children much younger (does not see that this is not where he should be), obsessed with gaming (Alot of kids are I know, but his is over the top.) Very musically talented and artistic. Has trouble articulating thought processes and then verbalizing where other understand. Sometimes inappropriate behaviors, but is seen as smart and pleasant at school. He feels most or all the time he doesn't need to study and he will battle on this. He gets very upset if his grade is not what he expected. He will not ask questions in school (becuase he does not want to bring attention to himself) if he doesn't understand. If he tries to tell someone something or ask a question and they don't understand what he is asking, he will frequently say never mind or get very frustrated. Word text and use or words are often confusing for others. If he explains where someone can understand what he was asking or discussing, then even confusing language or thought process becomes understandable. I do not want to have another diagnosis, but I don't want to ignore something that may need attention. I live in the Augusta, Georgia area and am looking for people that are experts in Asperger's and Dyslexia. I would prefer to go to another town, due to resistance at the current facility to investigate any other options for the behaviors and traits I see. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you for your input in advance.

He sounds a lot like me when I was a kid. I have never been to a doc to get a diagnosis (I'm 50, they didn't do that when I was a kid) so this is just my own experience I'm sharing for what it's worth. These are just ideas you may want to explore.

ADD/ADHD - if he is really smart, paying attention in school may be impossible because it goes soooo slowly that it is killing him (imagine yourself being forced to sit thru kindergarten year after year, could you do it?). He may not have ADD/ADHD, he may simply be unchallenged and bored. I had to entertain myself 6 hours a day for years in school and it was really hard at times. I spent hours trying to make it harder (like teaching myself to write with my other hand, or do the assignment upside down, write with both hands towards the middle) just to keep from going crazy from boredom. That was 30 years ago and I still cringe at the thought

Unable to express himself well in words - if he is really smart and has some kind of special needs (the actual label matters less than figuring out what he needs) - his mind may race continually or work fast and his words may not be able to catch up. Add frustration because he understands it all but can't explain it slowly (to him) to people, and you are heading for meltdowns. If this is the case, he will need help learning how to explain things to other people and how to tell a story slowly and in order with the appropriate amount of detail for others to understand. You will actually have to state what you see as obvious here, because his thinking may be different. For example say you tell a story like you build a house, first lay the foundation , then put in the plumbing .... and finally then the walls go in and it's a house (or a story)! He may have to practice this skill a lot.

With the above, he may need a quiet haven to retreat to at times to recharge especially if he is naturally introverted - all the attention and people and noise and frustration at having to slow down and be bored all the time needs to be let go of. He may need some breathing space and to pursue an interest at his own pace to keep his "center" The focus on gaming may be filling this need. When I game, I can let the rest of the world go for a while and recharge. I don't struggle in the gaming worlds and favor puzzle type and role playing games where my racing thoughts can be occupied by the complexities of the gameplay. Other times I play games that require a lot of dexterity because then I can blank my mind out and focus on just the movements and it is a quiet time. It's a needed reprieve from reality. He may actually need the games.

Playing with younger kids - they may be his social equals. What's the harm in letting him have a comfortable place to work on social skills at his own pace?

Lastly, the most important thing we can ever do for our kids is make sure they feel loved and accepted for who they are. In the long run, that will matter more than anything else you do. It sounds like this is what you are trying to do and that's great!

JMHO, hope it helps a little, sorry if I rambled a bit.

i notice you mentioned that he games a lot. gaming increase stress tantrums and decreases social drive. it can also be addictive and habit forming. i know some aspies who are obsessed with gaming. one person has played the same simplistic game for the last 15 years of his life. there is a thread on this topic http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf154219-0-15.html . the bottom of the second page really shows what gaming can do.

But gaming can also be a very positive outlet for an Aspie ...

My son may well make a career out of gaming. He doesn't just play them. He is far more interested in inventing and programming them. I tell parents here who have kids who like gaming to get them onto platforms like gamemaker - turn the interest into a marketable skill.

But that is off the topic.

I read a lot of things that sound like AS. AS kids can be misunderstood as ADD because they can also have issues focusing, but the cause is usually different. There could be sensory problems, or just the giant wall problem: the item to be focused on appears insurmountable. Neither can be fixed with medication. Focus issues related to AS take a different strategy.

Reading around this board and finding threads that hit home is a good place to start, as is Trackers book, free for download at ASDStuff.com

true but your son has a broad interest in gaming and he can see it as a way to make a career. many people are just addicted to it. i am a computer programmer and i think that gaming is possibly one of the most challenging careers out there. it involves using parameters and such as programming tools. i once looked into gaming when i was 13 and i saw that the greatest demand was in parameter setting technicians which is one of the worst paid hardest jobs in the industry i sort of turned my back on games then. i mean gaming careers are not all that bad graphic design has a lower demand from companies because it requires less work. i would probably recommend learning python for graphics and taking art classes if your son likes that kind of thing.

I disagree on the gaming conclusions. Gaming has helped my son immeasurably both academically and socially. I was dx'd with ADD as a young child (back in the 70s when girls were not diagnosed with ADD). There are very strong correlations between ADD and ASD and it would be worth evaluating. Temple Grandin (amongst others, including myself) believes that ADD meds can cause a lot of issues with people on the spectrum. I've seen Methylphenidate bring out autism in ASD kids when they are being treated for ADD and my personal experience with it was horrible.

I don't believe that ADD/ASD can exist in the same person (my personal opinion which many specialists in spectrum issues agree with) but do believe that ASD people are often misdiagnosed with ADD because it is something that can be "medicated."

i didn't totally disagree with gaming i just said there are some jobs within the industry that are good and some that really suck, if anyone was interested in going down that path i was giving my advice on what is a good job and what aint. yeah i agree that the labels of add/asd are pretty bureaucratic and don't actually mean much so it is useless to try to generalize that all add or asd people need one medication.

Cool. I get it now! Thanks for clarifying.

I'm not pro-gaming with my son regarding his future career prospects. He's got ages to worry about a career.
An RPG compelled him to want to learn to read when he was six. Spore helped him develop an interest in Darwin's Theory of Evolution.
I'll be back here complaining in 8-9 years about letting him have free reign with his computer when all he wants to do is lock himself in his bedroom and play WoW.

"Back in my day, we teenagers didn't lock ourselves in our bedrooms to play computer games!"