What would you do?

Post Reply New Topic

Lately, our 14-year old aspie hasn´t been well.He got too tired in school, he even wanted to participate history competition (won 2. prize but wasn´t happy about it), wanted to go for excursion with his class for three days but in the end he realy burned out. we didn´ t make any pressure, he was so stubborn to do it all. Now he is at home, ok - never alone, but anyway more isolated than usualy, even that was necessary because a month ago he just wasn´t able to attend classes.We don´t want medications because once he tried Zyprexa and had very very bad reaction even the doctor was persuading us that "it is a good medication and everyone is taking it with no problem" - our son had such a fever and convulsions that we barely made it to the hospital.But the problem is - he is very angry, frustrated, hostile toward us parents, he wants to fight often and talks back in a very rude way, realy different person than before.Ok, I know, he is 14 and all, but how do you cope?Are you more strict than usualy?Should we talk back? Ignore? He sometimes destroyes his favourite CD, or T-shirt...what to say?How to react?Any sugestions, please?

Love to all, mamamoo

When you say he is not feeling well and is easily tired Im thinking something medical. Does he have a sore throat? He could have Mononucleosis or something of that nature. You may want to take him to the doctor just to make sure its nothing physical.

btw Mono can last a few months.

I would agree that you should start with taking him to the doctor to make sure he does not have an underlying health problem. My son's aspie behaviors always got worse when he was sick or over-tired. Actually they still do.

Another suggestion I'll pass along from my sister. Try giving him melatonin, a suppliment to help with sleep problems. (check the Mayo Clinic website for info) My sister started giving it to her 14-year old son last fall to help him sleep. It helps him sleep and that helps with his ADD and Asperger's behaviors. Check with your doctor about how much to use. There are 3mg and 5mg pills available. My sister started with 5mg and was able to lower it to 3mg after a few weeks.

To address the actual behaviors, like yelling and destroying things, I'm an "old school" parent. While I understand that my son has additional issues that he can't control sometimes, I do not allow unacceptable behaviors. We always followed unacceptable behaviors with a consequence. For screaming at us or being disrespectful, priveleges were removed. If he destroyed something that belonged to someone else, his allowance was taken away to pay for it. If he destroyed is own things, he had to replace them himself. I even had to make him pay for a school textbook.

We found that going through the high school years, it was much easier to have a list of behaviors and consequences. My husband and I discussed it together and made a draft list. Then we discussed it with our son at a time when we were not trying to deal with actual behaviors. I then made a final list and it was posted in the kitchen. I wrote on our kitchen calendar when priveleges were taken away. This helped all of us. Of course the list did not cover "everything" but it gave us a basis to start from.

Good luck. The teen years are not easy for anyone, kids or parents.

Just a little thing to be careful about, melatonin can be a depressant for some people (it was for me) so it would be a good idea to keep a close eye on your childs moods (for about a week) if you decide to use it.

if its to do with that medication he took then get him off it.

Fatigue and general malaise warrant a blood panel to check blood cell counts.