Something for Parents to think about

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The Situation: There was a lady who was opinionated at an Autism Group. (She was doing a presentation on personality types: it became an Autism vs Neurotypical discussion). She said that when children have Autism and can read, They chose to read books rather than associated with Other Children.

To prove her point, she asked a girl who had Asperger Syndrome (Autism) would she rather read a book, or play with her friends? She said: "I'll read a book." (because she felt she didn't have any friends.).

The Other Girl sitting next to her was asked the same question. her response was: "I'd rather play with my friends." (the Other Girl, didn't have a Learning Disability, and had this look on her face like it was a stupid question to ask her, because she knew everything.).

The Question: Why is it wrong to want read a book instead of playing with friends? The reason a book is chosen is because unlike a person, a book isn't going to hurt or critcize you. (The Girl with Autism felt like she had NO FRIENDS, remember?) The Big Problem is is that the lady made her point by saying that what People with Autism do, IS ALL WRONG.).

The Problem: (Is) what gets ignored is that the person with Autism is being abused by the person with No Disabilities. That is WHY They are reading a book; They are not CHOOSING to be ANTI-SOCIAL. Why do Neurotypicals miss this point?

Well, did the presenter say it was wrong to choose a book over a playdate, or did she say it was NT to do so? The presenter would be wrong either way. I am NT and often choose books over playing b/c neighborhood kids were mean. My son, AS, would never choose a book over playing with the neighbor kids b/c the kids are nice. I can't answer why she was so mistaken when she should know something about autism if she is presenting something on it.

I can say that AS is mindboggling to those who've never met an aspie. Understanding it takes a steep learning curve.

......... I'm supposedly NT and as I child I would rather read than do just about anything. Books were way more interesting.
My son, an Aspie, can read... but hates it as it takes too much concentration (ADHD as well) and would a million times over rather go outside and play with his friends. If you posed that question to him, he'd look at you like you were stupid, why would anyone choose to read???

As an adult, knowing what I know now, I probably would have slugged or at least spat on that lady for that comment. No, that's not the reason I have trouble making friends. I'm so agressive as an adult because of being forced to make "friends" and ended up being hurt in the process. But anyway, I would rather read a book than play with my friends. I have a best friend as an adult and I still would rather read a book than hang out with her. She's the bookworm type so she'd probably rather read a book than hangout with me anyway. She's never around so I wonder if she truely is my friend anymore.

Ditto, when I was 11-12 I would rather read books at lunchtime than play, because I was so interested in science. My 9 year old (NT) daughter would rather go to the Library at lunchtime and read books about Dinosaurs. Her friends come and find her to try and get her to play and she finds it annoying

Honestly, I don't see how those statements offer anything to "think about". As others have already pointed out, a child's propensity to choose of playing with friends or reading depends on a lot more than being autistic vs being NT. It's just kind of silly. Sometimes my sons, one NT and one ASD, would choose playing with friends and sometimes they would choose readng a book. It totally depends on the situation, how they are feeling, if we recently went to the library and got new books...

Are you asking if this adult was in any way appropriate? She wasn't.

First of all, my son - who definitely has AS, but you wouldn't realize it until you were around him for a while, would decidedly say "play with friends." In fact, he'd prefer to play with friends over almost any activity - and he often does, once the friends in question understand that he has some social deficits they need to accommodate (which they do.)

If the question was "how do I handle this?" maybe (keeping in mind I am hardly the Queen of Tact) you could point out that it is very tempting to overgeneralize about any difference, but in fact, not only are there all kinds of expressions of autism, neurotypical also covers an awful lot of different behaviors: I know a number of NT children who read through recess.

I'd go on to suggest that she consider there might be all kinds of reasons for choosing books over people (social difficulties, some of which can be caused by outside intolerance) or people over books (dyslexia, other difficulties with reading.) It's rare that a single behavior gets you to the core of what someone "is."

I thought the lady who did the presentation that day was too opinionated. On the other hand, she probably didn't know any better when compairing Neurotypical vs Autism behaviors, which usually ends up as a discussion of Right (Neurotypical) vs Wrong (Autism). Even doctors sometimes make this mistake.

Anyway glad to see the responses, (thank you), because I thought there would more people who sided with the lady's information. Glad to see we have changed our attitudes about common, everyday behavior.

Again, thanks so much. (It's nice to know you (all).

I have yet to see momsparky offer a response that wasn't spot on.
So I'll just say, "ditto" to her comment.

Aww, thanks YippySkippy - you made my day!

that is just an overgeneralization, my mom is an NT, for the most part (some days I wonder though), and was practically RAISED by books as her perrents were rather emotionally negligent and always got in trouble for reading library books in class.

I on the other hand have AS and I am not a big reader, nor much of a player either...I rather work on art projects.

i am going to have to say that that in itself is a false generalization. there certainly are some autistics who choose to be anti-social and its not because of being abused, just as there are non-autistics who choose to be anti-social. social anxiety does not need an outside cause, it sometimes just exists. and some people simply dont get the same amount of pleasure from social interaction, even if they dont get anxiety from it.

the problem i see in this case would be, whats wrong with being anti-social? (altho i would prefer the term non-social.) people come in all forms, some need less human contact, some love to read more than others. there is nothing wrong with choosing a book over a playdate, and the choice isnt determined by your neurological status.

What on earth is wrong with reading books? I love books! Children need to read more books. The woman apparently is not much of a reader and needs to get a life.

You cannot get the intellectual stimulation from TV or most other pasttimes as you can from books. A good book before bedtime is so relaxing.

The woman probably has a number of hobbies that I wouldn't like.