Bed wetting

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Hello,

I have a 7 year old diagnosed with PDD-NOS at age 3, but he's looking more like Asperger's as he gets older. He toilet trained late but we finally got there (well, mostly). We still have challenges at night and that's why I'm writing.

He's almost never dry overnight and until recently he wore Pull-Ups to bed. I didn't mind since I didn't want to push him to train overnight if he wasn't ready (he's only been dry overnight a handful of times in 7 years). A few months ago, however, he decided he wanted to wear underwear to bed. I considered this a good sign, but he never learned to stay dry overnight and doesn't seem to understand why he should. Consequently, he wakes up smelling like pee every morning and leaving his PJs and bed stinking as well. We also have a 2.5 year old as well as a 3-week old baby, and I simply can't change his sheets every day. And even when I do wash his PJs, they often still smell of pee. We've been watching his liquid intake at night and having him go right before bed, but these don't seem to help much. I've tried getting him up after he's fallen asleep, but he wasn't able to rouse himself enough to get up.

My question is, what can we do to get this under control? What have other parents done, and what can we even expet at this point? I dn't want to put him back in Pull-ups -- that would devestate him and he probably wouldn't understand the connection. He's never mentioned the smell and with his sensory issues, I'm not sure he can smell the pee. Can I have him change his own sheets? It's a chore just getting him to pick up after himself. Any ideas?

Thanks,

It's important to remember that MANY kids don't stay dry at night well into their tweens. My son is OK in regular circumstances, but will have an accident (usually accompanied by a night terror) once or twice a year in times of extreme stress. Here's a pretty good article on the subject: http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features ... s-debunked

When my son was older and didn't want to wear pull-ups, we substituted a bed pad. These are available in both disposable and washable forms; we used a washable one. This will only help if your son sleeps face-down, and it won't help the pajamas, but it does mean all he has to do is change the pad and the pajamas.

We did also ask my son to change his own sheets, but occasionally this meant he would get frustrated or embarrassed and lie about it (we went out of our way to make sure he knew it was not his fault, it was that his body was still developing, and that he just needed to clean up after it - but kids get messages about bedwetting being shameful from outside the home.) Instead of doing the "star chart" for staying dry, try it for keeping the sheets and pajamas clean in whatever way it takes him to keep them clean, either by staying dry or washing them.

We decided that, other than the cleanup, it wasn't worth worrying about...DS is clearly moving away from it. I suppose if we had continual difficulty with it after the age of 12 or so, we'd have considered one of the bedwetting alarms or something.

I wet the bed until I was 14. It used to embarass me and was my deepest darkest secret as a kid but now it's no big deal and I am not ashamed to admit it. I felt SO bad when my mom would tell doctors and people about my bed wetting. I hated my phycatrist as a kid because he was such an a**hole and sympathy was not a part of his voculabary. They say we autistics don't have empathy or sympathy but I've noticed A LOT of NT's, espicaly ones that work with autistics don't have very much of those either. All I wanted was for a "professional" to tell me it was no big deal and to show just a tiny smidgen of sympathy and not make me feel even worse about myself.

Anyway, as I said, I didn't stop wetting the bed completly until I was 14. I was in a HORRIBLE school enviroment and I've always heard that kids who are under a lot of stress wet the bed longer than kids who aren't. I suspect that's why I did it for so long. My mom tried making me wear diapers or corrective underwear to bed but that just sent a mixed message and I would just stop getting up to use the bathroom when I was awake. It also embarased me wearing them. Before my hystorectomy, my periods were so thick, the only thing that I didn't bleed right through were adult diapers and I couldn't wear them for very long because they hurt me. I imagine that diapers I wore to prevent me from wetting the bed hurt me as well. If my mom tired one of those stupid alarm things, I would have refused to use it and if my mom forced me, I would have just destroyed it somehow.

If I had been kept in public school and didn't commit sucide by seventh grade, I probably would have not stopped wetting the bed until I graduated or droped out. I also suspect my mom making me wear diapers also played a role in making me wet for so long.

He can likely smell his urine and just doesn't mind it.

He should be examined by his physician to make sure he doesn't have a medical condition causing the problem. For example, kidney or bladder issues, or nocturnal seizures.

If he checks out fine then there is a nose spray they can give him which might solve the problem.

I would convince him to stay with the pull ups. Children stop bed wetting in their own time.

My daughter is 5/6 and she feels comfortable wearing pull ups to bed, nowadays she only has a wet pull up once every week but having it on gives her some confidence for the moment.

I thank god that my parents did not do diapers, pads or alarms. I did use a plastic under the sheets to protect the mattress. I remember having issues, at varying levels, through my mid teens. However, the last many years were not as bad cause I was able to control it with a nasal spray called DDAVP. I'm not a doctor so all I can say is to ask your sons doctor about it. Things may have changed since then. That being said, it was the only thing that helped and was very good a controlling this issue. It was so effective that after a while I would forget to take it. Usually this caused the issue to return but eventually I forgot and noticed the problems stayed away.

I wet the bed until I was 18 years old. my dad shamed me so much about it and made me feel less than human about it. Sometimes when I got older, I would wake up despreratly having to go to the bathroom, but the bathroom was on the other side of the house and my house was spooky at night, so I just wet the bed because I was too scared to get out of bed.
It wasn't until I slept closer to the bathroom with the lights on in the house that I stopped that. I remember it being one of my darkests secrets that I felt so ashamed about myself.

I remember crying in the morning while I was taking a bath cuz I wet the bed...and begging God to help me with this. Eventually it all worked out once I moved out of that house.
I found that most kids wet the bed early in the morning, so try getting him in the habit of waking up at 2-3 am to go to the bathroom.
I also have a medical basis for my problem too, I have bladder spaziums.

I suppose parents hate having to cleanup afterwards. A bit mean of your father though.

I think Diapers are OK up to 7-8 provided the kid doesn't have a sensory issue over the nappy.

Well, I think diapers are OK for as long as your kid needs them! Bedwetting seems to run in my family. I never had issues, but my mum did, my older brother did well into his teens (he slept right through his alarm, even though it woke the rest of the family!), and my niece does (she is finally growing out of it at 14). I think it helped my niece to think it was a family (ie physiological) problem, rather than something specific to her. She wore pull ups for a long time at night.

It's difficult with your boy already being out of pull-ups, because with my son I plan to use the "you can only stop using them when they have been dry in the morning for a week" approach. I would certainly show him how to clean up after himself. Maybe you can negotiate that - if you don't want to wear pull ups anymore then you must change your sheets every morning and put them in the wash, remake your bed etc. Whatever you think will work best, without adding to his shame at all. And maybe check if he has any fears about getting out of bed at night to use the bathroom!

AH HA...I finally found this link http://pottytrainingsolutions.com/produ ... 7ff59a3abd

I was also a bed wetter and once even did it at an overnight and the mother would not let me come over to the house again....nasty old bat! I also had a physical problem, I had a valve in my urethra and kidney reflux but it was also part emotional as I was also afraid to get up and go to the bathroom. I would try holding it, falling asleep and then wetting myself. Anyway, maybe he would be ok with these boxer shorts....they are like a cloth type diaper but they look like boxers on the outside. Also you can tell him that you met lots of adults who had the same problem when they were kids and its ok, some day it will stop. I wet my bed off and on until I was about 12.

btw, you can find the disposable "booster pads" on the site as well. The site is mainly for toilet training but I nearly bought these boxers for my son as he was wetting the bed a lot and those overnight things are expensive. He stopped though and has not had an accident for over a year.

I did my own laundry from the time that I was 8 years old, he still shamed me and made me feel less than human by telling me that normal people stop wetting the bed at 2. I learned later on that shaming a kid that is bed wetting can really make it worse.

I think putting nightlights in the room, the hallway and the bathroom might help if he does it out of fear. I have always had a fear of the dark...it is also a sensory thing a I am a very visual person and if I cant see...I feel like I am lost in outer space that and my house felt creepy at night.

Forgot this, but you're right, it's important - I concur on the nightlights.

My dad used to get frustrated and whack me and my brother. I guess the jolt to the head didn't actually send the correct message to my bladder.

I cant imagine how that would help. The old school thought on bed wetting is that it is some kind of moral issue to be addressed punitively. I guess that idea comes from earlier times when they thought that kids are inherently evil and the sin must be driven out of them.

Let's just say it wasn't a perfect response to the situation. Yes, old school.