I think my daughter AS but not dx

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Hi

Have posted a lot about my son who is dx AS, ADHD, OCD, I have also posted questions relating to my daughter. I will list some of her difficuties she has been diagnosised with ADD for many years and GAD (recently) she take Ritalin which has/is working for her.

As a baby she was easily scared by noise hated fireworks, hoover, dog barking, she was also very anxious and still is. Had toileting problems, still doesnt like to use the bathroom in a new setting unless I go with her she is 15yrs old. Hates when routine is changed, likes to plan ahead her day, wants me to go shopping with her because she finds it difficult to choose clothes can't make her mind up unless I give my opinion.

If I plan what we are going to eat for dinner and I change it at the last minute she gets very stressed and upset, this also happens with other situations. Has friends but would rather stay at home, wont attend disco for her age she doesnt like them. I have to initate contact with her friends otherwise she wont make plans. Likes to sit next to me when watching television if her brother tries to sit next to me she gets upset. If I am not available to watch the tv with her as she plans what we will watch she gets stressed. She needs to know where I am at all times and if I am late she will constantly text me, She takes the bus to school sometimes depending on activties she might get off at a different stop this is fairly routine but she has to text me everyday to confirm which stop. Has difficulty in relating to peers, doesnt like certain types of peers but does have friends. Has difficulty in knowing what to wear when it is hot or cold etc. Doesnt like to be dropped of to activities early needs me to wait with her, if I cant she gets very stressed out. If she has a sleepover which is not often comes back home stressed.

Had speech and language assesment result was language disorder (receptive) core language and expressive language above average/superior. IQ above average. Had grommets fitted suffered alot from ear infections. She also complains alot from headaches, stomach pain, chest pain, she is also asmatic.

She does manage herself well despite her difficulties, that would be the difference between her and her brother. She is very dependent on me which makes me feel that she is AS maybe it could be anxiety and ADD. I thought she displays dyspraxia slow handwritting, motor co-ordination and manual dexterity were below average, motor clumsiness ritalin has helped her to manage this but if she doesnt take meds for one day she falls alot and hurts herself, low muscle tone in fingers, toes, and eyes leading to difficulty in 3d vision. OT assesment ruled out dyspraxia??
I have taken her to the same professionals that have dx my son with AS but they say she doesnt meet the criteria. I feel they are wrong!

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Mother of 1 son dx AS, ADHD, OCD, 1 daughter dx, ADD,GAD

She sounds very similar to me, actually. I'm still not sure if I have AS or not, though. I definitely have ADHD and anxiety issues. But both she and I may be in that "gray area" in terms of AS... where the symptoms are there if you look close enough, but well hidden enough that most people will say they aren't there.

Like your daughter, I was always very close to my mom. I didn't want to go anywhere without her. I let her talk for me most of the time. I was very slow in learning to drive or wanting independence due to lack of motivation. I felt happiest at home because it was safe and because I got to do what I wanted, pursue my interests, etc.

I have trouble making friends, but I don't find it impossible. I'm just a lot slower at it than most people. That said, most of the time I'd rather stay at home. I have extreme difficulties trying to maintain the friendships I do make. I rarely if ever think to make plans, but I'm happy when I do get to see the people I care about.

Anyhow, I hope you work out a solution and get her a diagnosis that fits. If it happens to be AS, great. If not, you could still use it as a means to "decipher" your daughter's behavior. When all else fails, ask her what she thinks. Maybe she can add some wisdom to the discussion.

Edit: I also just wanted to say that frequently AS is more difficult to diagnose in females versus males because they tend to have better coping skills and are better at hiding their troubles. This may be the case with your daughter. I know it was the case with me, anyhow. I have difficulties, but most people won't know about them unless I talk about them. I didn't even really learn about the ADHD/ADD until two years ago. It was a problem before then, too, but I just thought everyone dealt with the same things.

Hi Annmaria! I second Syrella on many counts. AS in girls can be harder to identify due to coping skills that mask presentation. Your daughter also reminds myself of me in a lot of ways.

I was always extremely stressed out after a sleepover. Honestly I can think of few experiences more stressful than sleepovers. I felt like I needed to be back at home to regain my identity after automatically and like a chameleon changing my habits to fit in with other girls for 24 hours in a row.

Thanks syrella, purchase for your replies they are really reassuring, again I am just interested in trying to meet my daughter needs. I always feel no matter what, if one has an understanding then you can help. Just wondering Purchase if you have a dx?

Yes I was diagnosed two years ago at the age of 23. So not until adulthood and after five years of depression/anxiety that incapacitated me!

Unfortunately I don't live in Ireland so I can't recommend the clinician who diagnosed me but it sounds like maybe you should see if there's another clinician who will be able to identify what sounds to be AS in your daughter.

Your daughter sounds a lot like me!! ! I mean A LOT!! ! I am super dependent of my mom I always need her with me, I am scared of public bathrooms and I need my mom to come with me, and I still suffer from ear infections! There's more that your daughter and I have in common and it's nice to know I can relate to someone and I have AS!