uggh....just need to vent...

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I've been kind of lurking today because we had such a rough night at home last night. Things have been worse again since a new semester started. My daughter is exceptionally bad at transitions, and all new classes her second half of the freshman year, new lunch group...etc, has just caused all sorts of anxiety. Good news is she has PE and for the first time...in 3 years of having PE is actually dressing out and enjoying it. I think this will be awesome for her. She wants to try out for soccer and is getting daily exercise, which she also hasn't done in 3 years (we moved at the end of fifth grade and she just stopped going outside, so it's a big deal).

But she's started asking for lots of stuff again, which I had an epiphany this morning is related to the fact that she's stressed and unhappy, and she thinks having these things she wants will fix it. If I can provide something and i think it's necessary or at least affordable, I always try...but often her "wants" are not possible and also I don't think it would be good to provide all that she wants.

She came home from a weekend trip yesterday, and she had a lot of fun...but for her coming home is hard, and she got in the car asking for things. By the time we were home she was mad and went in her room. After a while we spent some time together and things were going fine...but then she asked for an I phone. Her history with phones is pretty bad...she seems to have the oposite of the midas touch. Everything breaks or goes missing. She's currently kept a used phone I gave her for one month. She thinks this is enough to demand an Iphone. That caused arguing....swearing (not on my part), Exhaustion on my part...I'm soooooo tired because things have been going like this for two weeks now and I honestly...occasionally...(I feel guilty about this) wish she'd live somewhere else. I mean I get it...it's her way of dealing with anxiety, but it really stinks.

I'm not looking for advice really, though I've gotten plenty off of here and felt so good reading one post this morning about how things build up and build up to the explosion level, which is exactly what happens with her. I know it will pass, and once she adjusts things will be "normal" again...and at those times I really don't want her to live somewhere else because i actually do like her quite a lot...I mean outside of the obligatory parental love .

Done.

Bethanie

You sound like a really loving mom!

Good luck with everything. I personally agree with what others have said to you: sometimes things do build up and there's an explosion! It happens quite often to people who are a genuinely nice person.

Yup, I realized a while back that when my son is really freaked out and doesn't know why, he will start asking permission to do stuff he knows we will refuse, and then blow up at us. I think he really just needs to blow up, but his mind is so logical that he can't do it without a "reason." We also notice that he gets incredibly clumsy at those times, sometimes he will stub his toe or something, and that will cause the explosion.

I'm so sorry, I know this is really hard, because you must feel like you're walking on eggshells all the time; I know I do. Things seem to be improving, but we're doing so many different things at once, it's hard to say what is working (and, of course, there's always my son doing it himself, too.)

Thanks...the good part is, she's always better after melting down. She was great yesterday, completely back to herself.