I'm having a grandparent issue

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i don't know where else to put this, so i'm putting this topic here.

i have a feeling that my grandmother can't seem to fathom the fact that i'm almost 30 years old. i've been living with my grandmother due to financial situations...of course, i've lived on my own before. i started to live on my own since the spring of this year. i've been living with my grandmother due to financial situations of course, i've lived on my own before. she's been calling me daily and has been going to my place at times where i'm busy and when i can't attend her. since i moved on my own, my grandmother asked if she can move in to my place and i told her "no". i told her i needed my space and independence. she has become very annoying and told her various times i'm no longer a child. but she still doesn't get.

is this normal for me to act this way towards my grandmother?

How old is your grandma? Does she live alone now?

Maybe she misses having someone living with her and is scared.

Older people can be very rigid. She may not like change. She may rationalize it to herself as worry, and feels she can alleviate her worrying by monitoring you. She probably misses you company.

I think you have acted totally normally. You are an adult now, and deserve to have an independent life.

Does she get along with her roommate? Does she still have her mental faculties? Are there any other issues?

Is this behaviour typical for her, or is it possible that she is in the early stages of dementia or Alzheimer's?

to ASDMommyASDKid

i don't know what's her relationship with her roommate at all. and i'm not sure what you mean by mental faculties.
it doesn't seem to make sense to me. she doesn't treat my 24 year old cousin like a child. so why with me?

By mental faculties I mean when people get old they often lose some of their brain power. Even if it is not as obviously severe as Alzheimer's, they can't remember things as well, or they can't think things out as well. Their ability to take care of themselves go down, and often they rely on others to help them.. Sometimes they become more fearful of burglars and stuff like that too.

So I guess what I am asking is did she get used to you doing stuff for her, or rely on you for things, and therefore need you? Often old people do not like to admit this and will make it sound like something else (like needing to look after you.)

I asked about the roommate because if she needs a roommate to do things for her or for financial reasons but does not get along with her, that might be a reason to want to live with you.

She may not be as close to or used to your cousin and prefer you.

These are just other possible reasons. I am not saying that is what is going on. It may just be that she worries about you and it would fix her anxiety if she could constantly check up on you. It does not mean you have to put up with it, though. You may just have to repeatedly tell her you can take care of yourself, you've done it before and you want to be given space. Sometimes people need to hear things multiple times, and it has to be very direct.