Touching Mommy Inappropriately?

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Ever since infancy, my son has loved to rest his hands in my cleavage. I am rather large and I think he finds it comforting. He is 6 years old now and still find great comfort doing this when he's stressed. He will ask me to snuggle and put his hand right into my cleavage.

For some reason, I am starting to feel uncomfortable. I'm thinking he may be getting too old. *sigh* So, I've started pulling his hand out and holding it and stroking his hand. This will most often work.

But, I just have to say that I am a bit sad over it. I kind of enjoyed it quite honestly. Made me feel super close to him.

Not really asking for advice as much as sharing.

We had the "boob" discussion earlier in the week. I knew it was time....and then came ALL the questions. lol.

My favorite, "Do elephants have breasts?" I was trying reaaaally hard not to laugh.

I have the same problem with one of my boys. I will take his hand off or jump back and tell him not to do that. I've been embarrassed in public to the point of it triggering depression.

IMO the earlier you can make the child understand it's not acceptable behavior, the better, but it's important to explain in a loving way so the child won't feel rejected.

I don't have quite this problem (mostly because I don't have anything remotely resembling cleavage) but youngest, 5, is such a sweet snuggler and oldest stopped wanting to snuggle at about 6 so I've been afraid that youngest will want to stop this soon too. I figure all boys eventually stop wanting to be Mommy's little snuggle muffin. I will be sad when he does. For now I relish the closeness for as long as it lasts!

I faced the same situation with my daughter. I breast feeded her for one year, and stop breast feeding her was very difficult because she refused. She cried, did not want the bottle, a whole drama. But she missed the breast very much, so she replaced sucking it by touching it. She wold fall sleep touching my breast. I found it natural until we started hanging out with another couple and they told me that was not healthy. They made me feel like I was something wrong. I got scared and thought maybe there was more than just "comfort". I did not let my chlld touch my breast anymore. She was about two by then. I dont know if I did wrong or not, but it was sad.

It is always sad when we have to take things away from our kids before they are ready for it, to make them grow up faster than is instinctive to them. In an ideal world, they would initiate all these changes themselves, just because it was the natural time to do so. But few of us live in an ideal world, and sometimes we have to force changes onto our kids to conform to the expectations of our society. There is nothing happy about that process. I think it is necessary to recognize the disconnect, and OK to wish it wasn't so.

Right. When I worked in child care, I found that upset kindergarteners would frequently cup my breast when I picked them up: it's a natural response, breasts are about comfort and mommies and there's a certain ownership kids take of their mothers (and by extension their female caregivers - though I am NOT endowed, heh.) If we lived in a society where breasts weren't so sexualized, this might not be an issue ever.

Unfortunately, kids on the spectrum (not sure where you fall in that area) don't necessarily see the social implications of their actions. Somewhere around the time when my son was banned from the women's locker room (our Y states 7 years old, which was right on the money - I noticed DS couldn't have cared less about nudity until right around then) I started to discuss privacy and private parts and touching, and explained to my son that he needed to respect the privacy of my body.

I'm not totally happy about how it hashed out, I wish things had happened more naturally, but there does come a point where that kind of touch isn't expressing to the world what it means to the child.

I have this problem with both my kids. Its hard for my kids because of my disease (ankylosing spondylitis) they can not be as affectionate with me as they want to. Their idea of affection is not very comfortable even if you arent in pain . I dont know if its this or just the fact that they think its funny but they have been squeezing my "boob" lately. With my 9 year old Aspie I just tell him its inappropriate and I show him places where he can touch me and other people. My shoulders are so sore and he likes to lay his head on my shoulder.....sometimes I just suffer it but I think he understands now that sometimes I just cant handle it, it hurts too much. With my daughter (6 year old autie) I just tell her no and put her hand somewhere else. If she laughs I try to look as serious as possible and I dont laugh so she has pretty much stopped.
Kind of a funny story, speaking of inappropriate touching, my daughter got a bunch of little gnome figurines from my in laws and she was hiding them and she was putting them in everyones pockets but she thought my father in laws zipper flap to his pants was a pocket ....he laughed but I think he was a little freaked out at first. Good thing his zipper was up .

My daughter used to do this. I'm also very busty and she was breastfed until she was 18 months (I don't know if that's related). If she was trying to sleep, she needed to put her left hand between my breasts and right thumb in her mouth, and off she went. I sometimes had to let her do this when she was sitting in her buggy outside and I'm sure I got a few stares, but I didn't care. I can't remember when she stopped it, but she did it all by herself, just like the thumb sucking.

True about having to force our kids to grow up faster than natural for them due to societal pressure. I'm constantly having to push my older son with classic autism to keep developing and keep moving in the right direction. It is a constant struggle.

I still allow my 8 year old boy to touch my breasts at home. It's not very often and he's still so innocent. I don't think it's about breasts really. My little guy just loves soft things. I've always been rather thin and there's not a lot of soft parts for him to touch. He hugs dad a lot more because DH is overweight and well padded. I also like to hug people who are soft, it's just feels so pleasant. I'd say tell them not to do it in public, and divert their attention to something (or somewhere) else that's soft and nice. I used to grab my mom's arms and shoulders a lot (she's very flat chested but well padded otherwise.) and it felt pretty nice, too. Don't worry, by the time he's taller than the level of your chest he won't put his face in it during hugging any more.

My son was never interested in my chest until he was tall enough that it was in his face, and he would put his face in between them and move it back and forth. He said he liked them and they are soft. Now that he's taller he's pretty much moved on. He did touch a strangers boob once at the beginning of the boob interest, while we were standing in line for a ride at an amusement park. She kind of flipped out on him. She pretended to go after his privates, lectured him on how inappropriate that was and wanted to know where his father was. I had to put her in her place. She shut up...