What did I do wrong?

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What exactly did I do wrong here? Why did she not reply to my latest post? I was trying to obtain answers but it seems like she dodged some of my questions. Why? Was I too harsh? Did I write too much?

I'm not sure, but I think you were apologizing too often. I don't know why you didn't get a reply, though. Maybe that person is simply busy.

yeah, maybe

Mm yes I can't spot anything wrong with what you said, you aired on the side of caution well.

Then again, I'm awful at that too...

I don't think you did anything wrong either. I'll go along with maybe she is too busy to explain to you and making long replies does take a few hours. Or maybe she felt it be too hard to explain to you and think you still won't get it? You do seem to think deeply and not understand. So I'll try my best to answer some of your questions.

Because it costs money. I realize it's not about laziness, it's about costs. Work places like to be cheap and because it costs money to train, they save money if they hire people who already have experience because they learn quicker and are less likely to quit. Lot of people tend to quit and the work place loses money because they have to pay one of their employers to train the new person and if that new person quits after a few weeks, they have wasted money on that person. I guess they want the training to go quick as possible so the more experience the worker has, less training they will need.





I think she was saying that it's better to work than have no job at all even if it's very little you're making or even if you are living paycheck to paycheck.

Let's say my husband and I split up. I decide to work full time so I have more money and my husband works full time and we both have joint custody over our kid. I work and pay bills I can pay while living on assistance like WIC or food stamps. Even though I am making $21,000 a year. Even though I may not be able to pay all my bills, I am paying for what I can pay for while someone in my family is helping me out with rent. Even if I can't save money because I am going paycheck to paycheck, it's better than being out in the streets and living in homeless shelters or having my family pay my bills for me.

Perhaps she simply hasn't gotten around to replying yet. Perhaps she has no interest in replying because you misunderstood her post and she is not interesting in talking of the subjects relevant to your perception of her post.

I didn't read her entire post but I think she walk talking about others being more caring of others in general and taking more social responsibility.

I do agree with her on some points. I too have become irritated with people who claim not to have the resources for one thing but then engage in another activity which implies they did have the resources and simply didn't care enough to spend them on that first thing.

But while reading the section on how to respond to someone who has lost a loved one, I couldn't help but to recall an article written by "Miss Manners" once. A lady had written in to the column and stated that her husband of many years had recently died and people had been calling her, sending cards, and sending flowers to offer condolences, but she stated she was upset because despite this, they had all forgotten to do one thing which apparently she felt was horribly rude not to do in these situations, and that was, bake her a meal.

I recall feeling annoyed that she felt it was unacceptable and rude that no one had done this for her because that certainly isn't the tradition in my family, and I gather it probably wasn't in the family of those she was upset with either. So I felt she was being unreasonable. Especially since many of these people did reach out and offer their condolences.

I considered writing in and pointing that out but this was before e-mail and I couldn't be bothered to buy a stamp at the time.

I don't think there is a rule that says bloggers must reply to posts. Some do, some don't; I've always believed it is entirely personal.

I find that in many cases when someone writes a blog post and another person disagrees with him or her, the blogger will only reply once. Many people aren't comfortable or interested in debating, because they have said what they thought in their first or second posts. I know it's frustrating when you really want to know and are willing to learn from discussions, but it's not a bad idea in some ways. I interpret the idea of "let's agree to disagree," which people often say right before walking away or abandoning the discussion, a sign of respect.
Perhaps, as well, this person is hurt and doesn't want an intellectual discussion, she just wants people to say "I know how you feel." It sounded like she was hurt, although I didn't spend long enough on the post to figure out why.
I hope this helps... let me know if it doesn't.
J.

I will walk away from the discussion there myself and agree to disagree. I will show her respect on that. I will follow Jesus Christ's way on this, shake the dust off my feet and move on. It's not worth the arguement.

Why aren't many people interested or comfortable in debating? Did I catch this woman off guard? Why didn't she just say I don't want to talk about this any further and I desire to end this discussion?

**Edit**

I just read more of her blog. I am backing off. She has lost her child to SIDS. I will respect this and I think it is the best sound judgement I could make. I wish there was something we all could do for this woman.

Last edited by cubedemon6073 on 21 Aug 2011, 7:48 am, edited 4 times in total.

It's because I think think of many possibilites to something but I have a difficult time determing what is truly correct because one reason is one and another thing seem to contradict. What happens with me is I have problems determining the cultural context to things. I am working on this though by researching and reading about American Culture. By the way, you know how to communicate in a way I understand. How are you able to communicate to me in a way I understand?




Yes, you are so right on this. Your logic makes sense. In order to make money they have to satisfy consumer demand as well.




Again, you know how to communicate in a way I understand. I rarely have misunderstandings with you. Your logic is spot on once again. If I am idle I brood about things. I become obsessive in my thoughts. I need some job to constantly occupy my time.



You are right. You have to do what you have to do. I hope you two never split up though. I am glad you are away from your douchebag ex-bf though. I shouldn't say that though. It is not nice for me to say. I hope and pray he does change his ways.

Maybe the reason why I know how to communicate with you is because I have AS too so I tend to communicate different and know how to explain things in a logical way. But sometimes I can't be logical because I don't know either myself but I know it's that way because it's the way it is. Like what is the issue with not resetting the timer on the microwave? Why would it bother someone? It doesn't take more than a second to restart it when you put food in there to heat up? So if someone were to make a rule in their home to restart the timer when you are done with the microwave, I would just do it out of respect even if it didn't make sense so if an aspie was trying to make logical sense out of it before they could follow the rule, I would be like " Just do it and forget about the reason to it." Even I wouldn't be able to make logical sense out of it. Maybe it's a ritual the person has and it upsets him when someone doesn't reset their timer on his when they are through with it. So even NTs can get upset with their rituals too when someone disturbs it. I hope this be logical enough for an aspie to listen. So maybe bad example there if I am going to think of everything as rituals for NTs for things that don't make sense they are bothered with. But that might help an aspie out and get them to follow rules if they see the logic in them because they also think of them as rituals for NTs and they know how upset they get when people don't follow their rituals so it must feel the same way to them when they don't follow their rituals.

I think lot of people can't be bothered to even try or use examples or anecdotes because they are too lazy. Like how many people would be bothered to try and explain the microwave thing to an aspie when they ask why? I bet lot of people wouldn't come up with the speculation that it's maybe a ritual thing for some people and even NTs have rituals too and also get upset when people don't do it but the difference is they don't react the same way an aspie would react to it. They wouldn't meltdown or get very upset about it. Just annoyed.

Everybody else has explained both why she didn't engage in debate and answered many of the job questions. I'll just answer one that was in your post to her. You asked how is it possible to ever be a manager when employers will only hire people with managerial experience as managers.

Answer: internal promotion. I think internal promotion may be more common than hiring managers. Internal promotion is where somebody is hired in a non-managerial position but show manager-like qualities and so get promoted after a few years. Manager-like qualities include the ability to motivate co-workers, the ability to coordinate team efforts, the ability to problem solve both technical problems and personnel problems (such as getting two co-workers to stop sniping at each other). Those are some examples. Some people get internally promoted without showing all those qualities but because they have such a good command of the job as a whole and how it interacts with other jobs in other departments and they tend to get rpomoted in jobs where they won't be supervising a lot of people.

Everyone thanks for the answers so far.

My question:

Her response:




I asked her exactly where the bottom was at? Why would she answer my question with just telling me I need to start at the bottom? She doesn't tell me the employment hierarchy and what constitutes the bottom? Her response makes no sense to me and I don't get it. Azurecrayon answered a question I had about something else a long time ago in this manner and I'm still confused by the response.

Is it some kind of nonverbal language response saying that they don't want to answer the question.

I don't think it's that she didn't want to answer it. I think it's that she didn't believe that was your actual question so she answered the question she thought you were asking. She thought you were asking, "how to get to a managerial position?". ASo I'll answer. The bottom is any entry level position. It is the job that is below all the other jobs both in pay and in responsibilities within that department, office or company. You move out of it by internal promotion, moving up to a higher paying and more responsible job when it becomes clear that you can and when that apparent fact about you coincides with a job opening.

She can't tell you what exact job consitutes the hierarchy because that will be different within every department and within every company. Each company has its own hierarchy.

This is what would be nice to have. It would be awesome if companies would post their organizational charts so I can determine what position is where. I used to work at Kroger at the age of 15. They handed out manuals which were very thourough and detailed including an organizational chart. My question is would companies be willing to provide to me?

This is an Organizational Chart and what I am looking for. I would love to have it more detailed than this going all the way down to custodial staff.

Why did she not believe that it was not my actual question? In my mind, the question was as plain as day.

Some companies will (Kroger did) but not until after you are an employee. It isn't considered public information and is not considered relevent to non-employees. It won't be provided at a job interview because the only thing you are supposed to be focused on at an interview is the job you are applying for, not all the other jobs that you aren't applying for.



That is a good chart. You might be able to find similar or even more detailed charts in business textbooks. Or maybe not. It may be one of those things that doesn't get written out in that complete detail. I don't know. But business textbooks might be a place to look.

It was plain as day. So plain that it looked rhetorical. Rhetorical questions are not meant to be taken literally and the person answering is supposed to ansqwer the implied question rather than the literal one. Rhetorical questions are rarely used on WP because they are a meaningless verbal device to people on the autism spectrum (I have gathered, from several annoyed threads venting about them). But outside of WP, they are common. I don't know for a fact if she assumed your question was rhetorical, but it is a very strong possibility. I know you would never ask a rhetorical question and so I take all your questions literally (and everybody else's at WP) but she has no way of knowing that.