I think ds(6) has ASP--so confused.

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I have an apt for him in early Oct, but we are in a tiny little town and the psych we're going to has already told me he's just gifted, so I'm not terribly confident in what help she may be.

Short background:
Ds has always been the odd-man-out, and it seems to be getting worse as he gets older. I have known for a long time that he did not "get" other kids, but at the end of Kinder last year he started having more serious problems and I got 2 calls from school to come and get him early. This was a 1/2 day program in a class of 9 with no bells, but typical school frustrations, I'm sure. The second time I went to get him, they were restraining him, which freaks him out in a big way. And they said the meltdown had included him banging his head on a wall--which I had not witnessed from him before. Short--trying to remember to make it short.

Anyway, we homeschool now, but after the last party we went to with the same result as always--frustration, disappointment, and confusion from him and sadness for me--I started researching more on Autism and Asperger's. I had always thought he had a "touch" of something but he's so pleasant and agreeable half of the time that it seemed highly unlikely. Even now, despite the vast number of Asp traits he has, I can explain most of them away with "he's just quirky" or "he's very bright but also immature so it's hard to find friends" or "he's an energetic 6 year old boy." And it sounds like he does not have as many trials as many on this board...
Well, here's the list--I would love to know what you all think....

In 1st grade--reads at 4th-5th grade level (but does not understand all of it)

Knew all of his alphabet before he could talk (around 2)

Drew faces at 9 months (I know that sounds farfetched but I noted the date because I thought it was so wild) and copied Cows, cups, anything you showed him, at 3

I can't remember a time he smiled as a baby or toddler, though he's very happy now

Could not pedal a bike/tricycle until he was 4
Only recently able to catch a ball regularly. Well, semi-regularly

Uses very formal language that he picks up from books, mostly correctly

Multiple times a day, joyfully sings out "ducka-ducka-ducka-ducka" (high pitched) and various other singy high pitched "phrases"

Constant monologue about his passion, Astronomy. If I say I need a break from Astronomy, he says OK, but a moment later he's back at it. Also, super heroes, spies, and secret codes. No awareness of anyone's response to his constant talking. (Is 6 old enough to notice boredom in other people though?)

Wild flailing jump-spin-crouch-bounce off of things dances.

There is plenty else, but here's the kicker--the tantrums are about nothing I can figure out. The most recent was at church, which I've been trying to slowly expose him to. We talk about it, visit when there's no mass, walk around and explore under no pressure and then at the service, well he's getting better, but at first it was, "THE MUSIC IS TOO LOOOOOOUD!" (wailing and curling up on the pew which tested my patience like never before. I didn't realize I cared SO much about what other people thought). I really believed he was just pitching a fit because he didn't want to be there. He has heard much louder things than that before, and now he's been a few more times and it's no longer too loud for him. Wouldn't it Stay too loud if he had Asp? Then the next time we went the fit was about the Mac n'cheese we brought for the offering. We talked about it ahead of time and he was ok with it and then when it was time he didn't want to bring it up, so I said OK. After mass I tried to give it to the lady and he threw the biggest fit complete with wailing and pulling my clothes and yelling, even at her and he Nearly grabbed it out of her hand but I stopped him. It usually takes him a good hour to get over something like that.

So much for short. I could go on and on, but what it comes down to is--could he just be a bratty kid who doesn't get enough discipline? I don't know what else I could do. I feel like I have tried everything there is, but surely I have not.

I wonder if maybe other kids do some of these things at home, but just not when they're with other people. I have no idea. The other mom's I've querried say their 6 year olds do not throw fits anymore, and I'm not sure if any of them ever had fits like this anyway.

Ugh.
Amanda

It certainly sounds like it could be autism.

If you're home educating, you can tailor his education to his needs whether you get a formal diagnosis or not.

As for the music being too loud - I guess you already know that most autistic people have sensory issues. These issues are not static, and change according to all sorts of factors like tiredness, stress levels, other sensory stimuli.

Good luck with the psychologist. Hopefully she will work out what's really going on.

alot of what you say sounds familiar, but unfortunately you really do need to go to get the formal dx....are there any other docs around who might have more experience with Autistic Spectrum Disorders ? It might be worth going to someone who actually knows something than spend $$$on someone who doesn't seem to know much about ASD's

Sounds like he has a lot of Aspie traits. A formal dx will be helpful if you can find a psychologist who really understands AS. Meanwhile, I strongly read everything you can get your hands on about Asperger's. There are lots of books about it out now, and by reading a variety of them, you can get a better picture of what it is and what traits apply to your son. The value in all of this is that you can learn to be a better parent to your son. Sounds like he is a really cool guy, but he's got a rough road ahead of him. He's going to need lots of love, support, and understanding from you!

Feel free to respond directly to me if you want to ask about my 17 years of experience!

Dont be discouraged if you dont get an AS/Autism diagnoses. My son was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD two years before his AS diagnoses. I actually took my sons Autism online test to our pediatrician and he said he would "look into it" LOL after three months of "not sure" I went to a psycologist (sp?) and she said he was Aspergers after the first hour. anyway my point is.... not all doctors know enough about AS. Good luck!

I had just posted in another thread - my own DS who has an AS dx loves to listen to CD's and plays video games, but wow, if I put on Enya or something he'll hold his ears like he's being tortured and literally start crying.

I finally figured out, some noises = bad, some do not. Same at dinner. Heaven forbid one of us chews too noisily. Meanwhile he eats like a cow. Go figure.

The early reading accompanied by ASD traits is called Hyperlexia and it may be beneficial to look into this as well as Asperger's. Some good places for information:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Hyperlex/
http://www.hyperlexia.org/

My kiddo did this along with the early drawing and writing--not as early as yours but it stunned me nonetheless.

Hi amanda

I had similar issues with my eight year old and a Psyc did assess her and said she did not have AS BUT I still felt something was'nt right so I took her to an OT and speechie trained in sensory integration (OT) and they saw it a mile off, needless to say I now have a dx and am now just awaiting the paper work.

If you are not confident about this doctor it would be worth finding someone experienced in diagnosing AS

Best of luck

Rachell
(who can barely type due to the fact I am squashed in the hall
way due to renovations - ouch!)

The "no apparent reason" meltdowns or trantrums - we learned there IS a reason, we just weren't watching. I keep mentioning this book since it helped me, "The Explosive Child" by R. Greene. The book really helped me chart and learn to predict situations that could put him into overload and meltdown. Then we can find ways to avoid those situations. The singing and so forth could be from anxiety even though he sounds joyful - start watching and noting what he's doing just before it happens. Food is also suspect for some of our kids - whether it's Red Dye additives or going gluten/casein free (GFCF).

Sensory issues can and do change - for years my son loved to get wet, but once the activity was over, he HATED being wet. Drove me nuts until we learned why it was happening and found a solution. Now that we've found a compromise, he's not so sensitive to being wet.

The mac-n-cheese offering could have come from some thought process we don't understand. Perhaps he saw someone else's offering and decided his wasn't good enough? Perhaps he didn't fully understand the concept of offering to give it away and he couldn't bear to part with a favorite?

You mention about the reading - my son is also hyperlexic, but it took us a looong time to realize he didn't always understand what he was reading/saying. We've had to change the way we communicate with him since he also has Central Auditory Processing Disorder. We've just tried very hard to listen to him, really listen and try to stretch OUR brains to comprehend what he's saying. Then, we can help him understand how it looks/sounds/affects others.

We never, ever go anywhere now without a book or some magazines - he has a children's Bible for reading at church. On the rare occasion we go to a restaurant, we take reading material. The reading also helps him tune out the environmental noise and allows him to re-focus.

And, once we started understanding his condition, we also backed off on a lot of things like grocery shopping. It will put him into overload so we stopped taking him. We do take him to smaller stores and he's gradually getting accustomed to small shopping trips.

The monologues - we try to go for at least one 20-minute walk per day or maybe just outside to bounce on the little trampoline. During that time he can exercise his legs and his mouth. After a bit, I'll start asking him questions about other things. Sometimes he will switch gears, other times, he'll answer and then pick up the monologue right where he left off. And, we have code words for that too so I can let him know when he's talked enough, that he needs to save it for later. I know he's not doing it to irritate, annoy or show-off, it's like he's organizing the information verbally. I can't really explain it, but as I watch him do it, I know it's more than just a lecture.

Discipline, we try to keep it short and relevant to what he's doing. If we spank him, then the next time we do something he doesn't like, he'll spank us. Instead we do a lot of short time-outs. Sometimes more for my sanity than his. I send him to his room and he can do whatever he wants - read, play with his toys, whatever - until we've both re-focused, re-grouped. Later we might talk about it and discuss better ways to handle whatever it was, but we don't hammer it into him about how bad he was.

The Explosive Child has made a huge difference in our household. Before reading that I thought we had done a fairly good job in being flexible and in trying to be understanding about my son's issues. But once we made the changes in our parenting strategies and started seeing the meltdowns diminish did I really see how much I was expecting him to come up to my expectations. When we stepped back and started trying to meet him where he was and understand exactly what he was experiencing through his perspective we got a lot further.

Ditto with the sensory issues changing. They both change over time plus they can also be heightened by what else is going on at the time. Things like increased anxiety, tiredness, illness, increased transitions, etc. can all make the sensory area soar through the roof. For instance, my son always has a much harder time between Thanksgiving and about the end of January due to all the holiday commotion and his sensory issues (especially to foods) increase dramatically during that time. We've learned a lot of ways to help him and he's really good about seeking out the kinds of stimuli he needs. The book "The Out of Sync Child" by Carol Kranowitz is a good place to start as is this introductory article: http://www.tsbvi.edu/Outreach/seehear/f ... ensory.htm

We still have some meltdowns but they are few and far between and we're better able to handle them when they do come.

This is such an old post, but I was just reading back over it and trying to remember what that time was like for us. I think I never thanked everyone for their help and I was hoping that if any of these same posters still frequent the board I could do so now.

These forums really helped me not to feel so alone during that really hard initial time and now, 3 years later, I find that I'm getting just as much insight now as I did then.

That year we did get an official dx, and everyone we saw agreed it was "Classic Asperger's." For us it was a huge relief and also a stunning blow. Since that time R has made really unbelievable strides. He's still the same kid, and still clearly has AS, but with ongoing therapy and LOTS of work each year is far better than the last.

So, anyway, THANKS!
Amanda