Is this Asperger's?

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Hi everyone, I'm brand new here and am so happy I found this forum! I'm getting so much valuable info here.

My DS just turned 3. He went to a developmental ped. when he was 2 1/2 and all she said is that he shows symptoms of O.C.D. We are now waiting on an appointment with a pediatric neurologist on Jan. 31st. My cousin, who has been a kindergarten teacher for 40 years thinks he has Asperger's Syndrome. I've looked online at all the checklists and my son seems to fit being on the spectrum in so many areas.

He is language delayed. He does a lot of echolalic speech (just repeats things he's heard over and over again without really using his own spontaneous thoughts). I cannot have a normal conversation with him like you could with other typical children. When I ask him, "Ryan, what did you do in school today?" He will always say, "ABCDEFG". (meaning, the alphabet). Most of the time, he just doesn't seem to understand us. Like something isn't clicking.

He will spin anything he can find...chairs, wheels, bottles, anything, he will spin it. He is obsessed with ceiling fans, garbage trucks, and my 89 year old aunt. (I know, weird, but he asks for her ALL the time). He lines up all of his cars and trucks, but doesn't really "play" with them. He has no concept of pretend play. It's very hard to get him to play with anything other than his trucks or the balls in our basement. And lately, he doesn't even want us to play with him. He tells us, "go out". When we read books together, he obsesses over 1 particular page, or a certain object in the book. I don't think he pays attention to the story, he is just obsessed with getting to the page he wants.

He is very social with adults and older children, but is not interested in kids his age. He doesn't seem to be curious about the world around him...we noticed this about him when he was younger too. He isn't interested, nor does he seem to understand holidays and his birthday, opening gifts, Christmas trees, etc. It really bums us out.

He perseverates on things. He repeats words, phrases, sounds, over and over again. It's almost like he's in his own little world where he plays with the same things, says the same things, etc..etc.. He also has poor muscle tone throughout his body and is delayed in his fine motor skills. It's almost like he doesn't know how to use his body. I notice a difference now in my 8 month old DD...she is grabbing and holding onto things, while DS never did any of that.

Most people think he is "normal"...but when you spend extended time with him, to me, it's obvious there is something different about him. Does this sound like Asperger's to you? He is a very smart boy...he loves to sing, can count to 10, knows his alphabet. But as a mom, in my heart, I know there is something different about him.

He was in NJ E.I. for a year and a half and just qualified for our town's disabilities pre-school and so he's receiving O.T, speech, and P.T. I am praying we can get some answers at this neurologist's appointment in Jan.

Any thoughts?

Sounds like many kids here. I would get him evaluated. Also, since he has a language delay it would be just under "autism" which really isn't any different. It is a spectrum, and aspergers is on the autism spectrum.

so do Asperger's kids not have language delays? Thanks for your reply.

Language delay precludes Asperger's dx. It would be autistic disorder. As of 2013, they'll all be ASD, so they're really not different.

Don't be scared of the label. Your kiddo is still your kiddo!

Thank you. I know, you're right. I'm not afraid of the label. It's more that we just need to figure out how to better deal with his quirks, especially when it comes to discipline. Some days it's just soooooo hard to be patient with him.

Every day when I am getting frustrated and getting down, I try to remember that it could be a lot worse. I know there are parents out there that can't communicate with their children. Even though I don't feel like I'm always connecting with him, at least he tells me he loves me.

His birthday was in Nov. and now with Christmas coming, the holidays are hard. He doesn't understand and isn't even interested. It's stuff like this that can be very difficult for us. Once we get a diagnosis, I think we will be looking for a support group so that we can be around other parents of autistic kids. That kind of support seems like it would be very important.

One tip for Christmas for kids who don't "get it" is to bring presents out one at a time. Even I, at 24, get overwhelmed by all the presents. My sister is um... well, what's a nice way to say?... likes to be in control! So, she hands out presents one at a time, we all watch the person open, admire, enjoy, then next present...

I think that you should get him evaluated and if it turns out to be autism, it's important to remain calm and that your child will grow to reach his full potential with lots of love, acceptance and support.

Its good that you understand him already considering you say when you ask him what he did at school and he says "ABCDEFG" you understand that he is telling you that he enjoyed learning the alphabet. Most people would just be confused. You need to get a diagnosis but he does sound to be on the autism spectrum but he is trying hard to communicate with you, obviously and its cool that you are "getting it". My daughter was diagnosed as severe but she is now considered what they call "high functioning" at age 6 1/2 years. She started speaking between 3 and 4 so your son is already ahead of where my daughter was at his age. She has a lot of trouble communicating but we just got her a iPad with the Prolquo2Go app (it is a bit expensive but worth it). The main frustration is the lack of ability to let you know what is going on, where they have pain and what they want or need.
We just got my daughter her iPad and last night was the first time she requested what she wanted to eat and is asking to go to the toilet on her iPad....The Proloquo2Go is a bit overwhelming at first.....pages and pages of talking PECS pictures. We have made some of our own pages for her, she took to her iPad right away she is a little computer wiz so we didnt think shed have issues with it. Right now she is on the holiday page and is making sentences about having a Christmas egg hunt .
If your doctors are slow in getting your son diagnosed and you live in the US look up your local Regional Center or Easter Seals can help you as well. They are much faster than going through your insurance most of the time.

It certainly could be Aspergers, HFA, or PPD-NOS, (and as SuperTrouper, said these will all be called ASD in 2013). I was told Aspergers is sometimes hard to diagnose before the social issues become apparent in preschool. If your son is speaking in long phrases or sentences by age 3, it's not considered to be a significant language delay.

I would check to see if the neurologist will be performing the ADOS (autism diagnostic observation schedule), and if not, ask how he determines whether an autism spectrum disorder is an issue.

Thank you Zette. I will be sure to note that!

It would need to be classified as 'clinically significant speech delay' though, my son regressed quite badly when he started kinder which resulted in a slight loss in language but nothing significant and his speech is absolutely in range now, and has been diagnosed as Aspergers.

Tony Attwood says that around 50% of children with aspergers have speach delays until 5 but they should be speaking fluently by age 5.