The Shoe Shopping Nightmare

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Well I'm going to buy new shoes tomorrow on Monday but we're already having shoe shopping nightmares. I'm a planner I look ahead of time of what I may want or what other people may want. Now I understand this because I am the same. I want exactly the same shoes that I have had for years now. I don't like changing shoes or getting a new brand of shoe. I want it exactly the same way. Which comes to the problem that the shoes I want are now discontinued. And the same thing with my brother's shoes. J-bird also is very the same way. The shoe must be exactly the same comfort, same design, same everything. I think we're both going to explode if we go shopping tomorrow. We need the same shoe type. This is the same thing with clothes too. I like only plain colored shirts with a certain material and thickness.

I hate publically shopping and online shopping is a no go because we don't get to try things on to make sure it's exact.

How do I go about something that I might have a meltdown about with someone else who might have a meltdown?

I have had this happen before, thank god I was alone. After going to multiple stores I gave up and got very frustrated unable to find what I want. I fear the situation may occur tomorrow the same way just with both me and J-bird. Neither of us will be able to function very well afterwards.

Go shopping alone and pick the most utilitarian shoes you can find. Theoretically that would work for me.

Sounds tough. I am no Aspie expert. But, as a mom of a son who hates going out and who frustrates easily at such things, I'd suggest:

Do as much research online as you can--i.e. shoe types similar to the ones you like that are discontinued. Google can turn up some surprising things. Then, if you narrow what brands/types you are open to looking at that might help minimize what you are trying on, etc.

Also, give yourself plenty of time if you can. After each store, take a little break where you do something that is 'soothing' to you . . . for me that would be drinking coffee, haha. For my son, that would be doing something creative with his hands or something physically active.

Don't know if this helps, but good wishes to you on your search!

I found a good pair of boots by Ariat that fit well. I always get the same model and size, so I can even order online if I needed.

I like coffee or video games. lol. Every time something frustrating happens I still a sneak peak on the demo video games just because that's soothing to me. lol. So I might take that advice.

J-bird likes legos, I don't know how that will work. Guess bring them in the car.

I always research. I'm one of those crazy people who "ruin family vacations" because I plan ahead. But I get paranoid without a schedule or without a plan ahead of schedule. I need to know what is going to happen or else I get stressed and all of the usual things.

I have the same problem with shoes, I wear the same ones for years until they are virtually unwearable then can never get another pair of the exact ones I have come to love.

Shop online first at the stores that show their in-store inventory online like Sears and KMart if those stores are near to you.

That way you can limit the actual in-store shopping time to trying out the ones you already think might be acceptable alternatives. Because you shopped ahead online, you will be kinda sorta ready to accept that you aren't getting the ones you truly want and are looking for something really really close to them. It may help prevent the total meltdown and just be a necessary/stressful/unpleasant activity then.

If you do find something that you like, you are that the age in which you can buy several and not outgrow them.

I've been able to find discontinued clothes that fit on ebay.

Also, some sellers will actually list the measured dimensions, which helps immensely, when looking for new brands to try.

I buy my discontinued model of shoes online. I search for them on eBay and other online shopping sites and buy them when I find them.

That's what I feel like I should be doing. It's actually something my dad use to do too.

My daughter and I are the same. I don't have a lot of pairs and tend to wear the same ones most days (I have 2 pairs of those in different colours and will be buying more). She has only one pair of decent shoes, and tends to wear her school shoes for parties. This annoys me slightly as she's the only little girl without nice shoes on. The shoes that both of us find most comfortable are Skechers. We both have high arches, as well as the sensory issues, and Skechers tend to allow for this.

It's bad enough that we have problems with the actual shoes, without the shop hassles as well. The best shoe shop we have here, which stocks loads of shoes, is also a very irritating place. They have footballs for sale, at the back of the shop. My daughter gets distracted by that and then she won't co-operate with trying shoes on.

We took her out yesterday to try to get snow boots. She just has to see the fake fur and decides it's going to itch, even the very softest material. I have sensory issues too and I'd be the very first to refuse a pair of itchy boots, but the fur was lovely and non-itchy, but she still refused. She ended up with none. She has a pair of wellies, with a furry lining. She'll wear the wellies, but not the lining. We got up this morning and it had snowed overnight. So she had no option but to wear those with her usual socks and a pair of ski socks too. The linings are in her bag and I told her to remember to put them in, if her feet get cold, knowing that she won't.

I use to have a pair of Skechers. But they modified the model I use to wear. And I don't like the new editions. The lip doesn't cover an extra inch of the top of my foot. The sole is to far back. They don't feel comfortable. And that frustrates me. Then I found another brand that reminded me a bit of my old time skechers, but they discontinued this brand. And I'm a little upset that I cannot find anything.

I the top of my foot covered. I don't like it when it isn't because even with socks my feet get cold. And I want to keep them warm as possible. We have a nickname for me in the winter "The Hands of the Dead". My feet and hands get so cold they remind everyone in the household of the way a dead person's hands may feel.

Funny you should mention this. I bought my daughter a pair of Skechers school shoes and she wore them throughout her first year at school. They were only starting to wear down in the last month and there were no scuff marks. I was totally amazed by this, as I could see the state of her friends' shoes, within the first few weeks, and she's more active than most. So, I bought her the next size for starting back at school after the summer. I felt the quality wasn't the same and they started to wear down fairly quickly. She will be needing a new pair in the spring, even if she hasn't grown out of them. I also feel my new Skechers are slightly different, but they're comfortable and I'm still happy with them. But, I hope that's not the sign of things to some.

Skechers has disappointed me surely. Who knew I could be depressed after shoe shopping.

I had three identical, subsequent pairs of blue and yellow Skechers in middle school.
Still have an affinity for the brand. <3

I HATE shoe shopping. I have wide feet and not at all girly. I had a friend who was always trying to get me to wear high heels, please? First of all even if we could find a pair that fit my wide feet Id fall on my face . I wear crocs that have fuzzy micro fleece inside. They are wide and they are light. I have really bad nerve damage now in my legs and feet so the fact that they are light really helps. Also Birkenstocks are really good but do tend to be heavier. Other than that, skater tennis shoes are good and roomy.

Also Id like to nominate you for the best brother in the world, your brothers and even your Dad are very lucky to have you .

I think you could rock a nice pair of flats.

And thank you. I don't think I'm the best brother in the world. I just do what I can.