I don't know what to do (school)

Post Reply New Topic

My daughter is behind in the virtual school she is in. Part of it is because she started late, and part of it is that I have had to leave her at home to study alone. the past week and two days. She is not getting anything done. I cannot stay with her every second of every day. She is very bright and can do the work. She has to have it done in the next 4 weeks, but she is so far behind. I have been working with her so much that my house has gone to pot and I have had to not go to school myself just to help her.

What I want to know is if there are any Ohio private schools I can send her to who are GOOD with autistic children. I cannot do this full time. I just cannot - especially when I get custody of her two sisters (who are also most likely on the spectrum). I need to put her with someone who can help her do this. I can, but at the expense of EVERYTHING else. I need help. I am so exhausted.

I cannot help but I will try to send prayers or good vibes your way (whatever you believe in) and hope that it all gets resolved in a positive way for your family soon.

I'd suggest contacting the author of the blog Lost And Tired. He has 3 boys on the spectrum, and the older two are in a school he's really happy with. He also mentions some Ohio program called the Autism Scholarship. Good luck!

Thanks both of you. Zette, I will try to find him. Ohio has the scholarship program, but they only pay 20k (I laugh at saying 'only'). The "good" schools I saw were about 70k. That is sad, because the really good private colleges here are not even that much. The scholarship program only covers some private schools too. I don't know all they do, although I did find a list at one site I do not like (but went to anyway). It just seems that all the schools are at least an hour away. I go to school in the opposite direction then them too, so that makes it harder.

Today is just one of those days. I need to make sure she has a GOOD education. The public schools have failed her, and I am not able to devote every single second of my day teaching her. I can handle a normal school day, but she is taking longer than that. She is exhausted. I am exhausted. My house looks like it has been exploded. I spent the last half hour just cleaning one room in my house (thankfully it wasn't too bad). I still have to do the other rooms. I do not mind a little clutter, but what it is now is not nice. It is making me tense (part of the Aspie OCD I have). I also have things I have to do. What I really need is a sanity break, but she is having separation anxiety issues. This is partly due to the fear of loosing her sisters (for those who remember, I have been in court trying to gain custody). She cries and s very depressed every time she leaves their house or they leave mine. It is too much for her and too much for me. I wish for school at least, I could just leave her to her own devices and let her get her work done. This does not happen. She becomes distracted and maybe 1/4 of her school work gets done... if I am lucky. I am just so tired.

GreatSphinx, many hugs to you..as I know this can be very trying. I don't have suggestions for Ohio schools, but I did want to ask, other than being behind, how is the online curriculum working for your DD? Do you think with a full-time learning coach, she may catch up? I was thinking that if the program is working, maybe getting an in-home teacher is a better bet for you. It is certainly probably less expensive than the alternative of private school. And if your DD seems to work well with the homeschool program, in all probability, after she was caught up, she would probably finish her daily assignments within 4 hours (much less time than standard school). Could you check a local university or college for availability of part-time teachers? I know that in our neighborhood, there are a number of stay-at-home parents who would love something to do while their children are at public school (6 hours). Is that a possibility?

It sounds like you desperately need some help - even if someone could come for two days per week and give you those two days off...In addition to her own stresses, it sounds like she may be sensing yours as well, which I'm sure doesn't help *either* of you.

Have you contacted your DD's teacher about having her not progress at the same rate as NT classmates? The online school schedules are generally very aggressive. I know that with my DD's school, there are some kids that both started late and those who will probably continue their schooling past the June deadline. Can they make any concessions for you or your DD?

ETA: Sorry, OliveOilMom is right..I meant to add that these would probably be students (maybe SPED-major students) who are willing to teach, not actual university/college teachers. It's getting late here and I'm not focusing well..

Audball has a good suggestion about calling a local college for a part time teacher, but here is another angle on that same thing. Why not call and see if any of the students who are going into teaching special needs kids would like to do that part time? You get somebody who you know plans on working with special needs kids, and they get experience. It would be a lot cheaper than hiring one of their teachers.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

GreatSphinx -

I don't really have any help to offer, but I am in a similar situation, so I have some idea of part of what you are dealing with. My AS son was asked to leave the private Montessori school he had been at since he was 22 months old about 3 1/2 weeks into 4th grade this fall. I didn't like what the public schools were telling me, so I decided to homeschool. I also chose an online program, hoping that he could do at least SOME of it on his own. But, not only does he seem unable to deal with it by himself, even the mention of doing lessons is enough to trigger complete anxiety and a meltdown. I have tried all sorts of ways to modify lessons, make them more fun (we did spelling words in chalk on the back patio)...I have changed locations, tried splitting things into little bits...nothing seems to help.
I chose the online program I did because they told me it would all be self-paced. Then, about 6 weeks into things, they decided to assign a teacher to us to help "keep us on track". And, just a few days ago, I got an email saying that I need to get him caught up ASAP (even though it took me over a month dealing with them to get him registered, and we didn't even get books until about 10/15). We are also evidently in violation of their 25-hour-per-week minimum. I am lucky to get him to spend 5 hours per week actually doing the lessons.
The most frustrating thing is that he is willing to learn almost anything if I bring it up in conversation when we are alone, like in the car. He picked up on basic genetics (like blood type) in about 15 minutes. But, a simple spelling list reduces him to tears and makes him start stimming, scratching himself, and pulling his hair out.

I am at my wit's end. I am on disability myself with bi-polar and anxiety. Trying to be with him 24/7 is not healthy for me or him at this point.

So, for now at least, we are going to explore the public school route starting in January. The school seems to be pretty familiar with kids with AS. I don't like that they want to try him in a regular classroom. At least he has started working with a speech therapist there over the past 2 months, working on emotions, so he knows at least one adult in the school. And, about 1 day a week, she has him do some work in the library with one of the 4th grade classes, and they have told me they will put him in that class. So, he will at least have some familiar faces, even if he doesn't know the kids much yet.

I told him in September that we would try homeschooling until Christmas. We have tried it and it really didn't work. So, for now, the plan is to try the public school.

My hope is that he will either do well with the structure, or he will struggle enough that they will agree to a self-contained class with other AS/HFA kids. Or, better yet, there are a few private schools in the area that we can get them to pay for if he doesn't do well at the public school.

I hate making changes like this, but for my DS's sake, and for my own, I have to.

Sorry...didn't mean to ramble...that is part of my AS. I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. I hope you find the answers that work best for yourself and your child.

They do have some virtual schools who have a teacher that the child can call or the teacher calls them, they can also do skype type classes. I dont know if that would be a good option either. Do you have a schedule set up for her that she can follow every day. Like do the work, take the card and move it to the done file....something like that.
I had this same problem with my now 19 year old Aspie, I had to leave her at home to go to work when she was 16 and she got behind and I was always on her. I have since thought that if I had her day more structured than she would have done much better. She tends to be very stubborn and likes every thing HER way so if your daughter is the same maybe you can both sit down and do the schedule together.

Not sure where in Ohio you live or what public schools your daughter has gone to. My friend works at a new Autism center opened by Mentor Public schools near Cleveland. She's the assistant to the director. Supposedly a really good place . . . here's an article about the place. Goes up through high school, but I don't know how hard it is to get in.

http://www.news-herald.com/articles/201 ... 572470.txt

I don't have any good contact info, but if you want her Facebook name to message her, I can PM you.

I think being able to talk with her would be great. I do not live in that county, but I have family there, and it is one of those "hour away" facilities that is even further than the university I attend. I would be very happy if I could speak with her, if you are able. Thank you