7 year old school problems

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My child is 7 and she is in regular education and i have her tested often she has a behavior plan but i think the school doesn't know how to help her they are trying things like giving her breaks, making her schedule predictable offering reinforcers. She doesnt want to do her Math and it was Reading too before which we know some of the reading comprehension she doesn't understand. The team ignores behaviors if needed and my daughter is trying to leave the room and pulling the teachers hair and kicking her. I get constant calls from the school. I told them to withold her reinforcer until she does her work and try that next. I don't know if she needs to be on meds, or get more help from an Emotional support class cause she is smart. Has anyone gone through something similar, i need suggestions. I want her to be in the least restrictive environment but at the same time i can't say the school isn't trying, they follow my advice too. She has behavioral therapists that communicate with me through notebook everyday as well. I am at a loss i want my daughter to learn, make friends and be happy. She is verbal and able to express her feelings and some of it is routine behaviors.

We were in a similar situation with my son at that age; after things went horribly wrong and we got a professional, outside diagnosis, we found many of his needs just weren't being met and the school didn't really know how to meet them.

I'm not saying this is the case with your daughter, but in my son's case, he had a pragmatic speech deficit and was only understanding or communicating about 70% - and nobody had had any idea. Now he gets regular speech therapy and social skills classes, and it's helped a HUGE amount in his anxiety-driven behaviors. We also figured out that he was hypersensitive to light touch, and moving his locker so he wouldn't get bumped into made another giant difference.

Some of the specific things a kid can be dealing with can be really subtle. Schools are generalists, not specialists, so they just do what works for most kids rather than figuring out what YOUR kid needs - however, in my experience, once we found out what was going on, the school was more than happy to make changes.

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Above is a link to a great book about meds, if you wish to consider this option. It is very easy to read and tells the reader which meds are used for what, what a typical dose is, and what side effects to expect.

I would recommend that a child psychiatrist or pediatric neurologist handle the meds, if possible.

Also, at school, the teachers may be waiting too long to take action. With my older son with classic autism, he always exhibits pre-meltdown symptoms (figiting, irritability, distraction, tensing up, etc.). When he starts showing the pre-meltdown symptoms, it is time to redirect him or give him a break and stop pushing him.

It is also very important that whomever is caring for my kids keeps their cool--arguing with my kids or yelling at them is counterproductive.

I am having the same sort of issues. My six year old had a behavioral eval, he is getting OT and now has an aide. He just got the aide, and it seems to be helping, though I will have a better idea at the parent teacher conference in a couple of weeks. I used to get notes complaints all the time, and that has subsided.

Is your child getting OT? If you have not had an OT eval and there are behavioral issues, I would really recommend asking for one. Some things that look behavioral are actually sensory and OT can help with figuring out if there are sensory issues that are copping up that can be mitigated.

About the math and the reading: Because of all the No Child Left behind stuff, many schools have been forced to add math tutors, and as far as I know all schools have reading intervention programs. Did your child get tested for speech? Speech therapy for spectrum kids often include reading comprehension paragraphs because of the pragmatic issues that crop up. Right now my child is doing very well with his language arts block because he is hyperlexic, but I know that once he is expected to infer why characters do things, we will be having issues, too.

Yes she has OT and speech and they give my child a sensory seat attached to her chair to sit on i don't know what it is called. I was wondering if it was sensory but the new OT we have just says she is doing good we have had a sensory diet done a year ago i don't know what to think about this new OT i don't think she knows what she is doing. I am at my wits end with this school to be honest. I won't put my daughter in a placement that is too low functioning but emotional support is my thoughts and maybe she will be happier there. She has had reading help in NCLB too and it doesnt seem to make a difference. I have had countless meetings and notes sent in and negative teachers and good teachers. I have a disability too so i have a hard time understanding alot of the laws but i have fought since pre-k and i think my daughter just isn't happy in this placement. I am gonna look at other classes and the the most appropriate one for her.

I read your post and can't see any clear problems in the school's actions or attitude. Obviously the issue could be there and just not in your post, or in your post but not jumping out at me ... Still, I am going to suggest that you prepare for the possibility that you have a child for which "school" IS the problem. Not the teacher, not anything the teacher does, not the specific class, but the things all schools share and that will not change: lots of people and lots of noise.

That was the case for friends of ours, and they pulled their son to have him home school through the school. Eventually they moved him to a small, private special needs school that has worked out wonderfully for him.

Do check out your other options, but be prepared that you may just have to pull her.

The school is saying that my daughter is spiteful when she has her behaviors they are always negative about her so i think she might be feeding off of that. Her other therapist left that school crying saying she couldn't work there the staff is terrible not doing enough, which she was with my daughter from pre-k. My other child gets treated completely different they let him out of his seat and do whatever he wants and yes he is on the spectrum too. So something doesnt measure up. We are having meetings next week.

They havent done a sensory diet since kindergarten too and she is in 2nd grade. The teacher from last year was fine that year went good. She has a teacher that just got hired on the spot that she brags about and acts like a smartass. My daughters other therapist left cause staff hated her for telling me they arent doing their job, so now since that therapist is gone they are saying my daughter is spiteful and a problem. I really don't feel like they are being a team i have been fighting for years for her and sick of this school.

Well it sounds to me like her environment at school involves sitting in a room with teachers who don't really understand her or think to kindly of her constantly monitoring her every move and probably criticizing everything she does abnormally. Maybe its not quite that bad but I can imagine its how she might feel and I know an environment like that would have made things very difficult for me at that age......even at this age.

I think they also might be using the wrong approach by withholding her privilege to take a break or do a different activity until she completes all her math and reading. I know a lot of people on the spectrum need a break when they have had enough or the stress load can become too much and cause mental exhaustion which is likely to result in meltdowns and frustrated behavior. I remember a few experiances like that when I was a kid....I mean imagine being totally overwhelmed to the point where its almost painful and having someone pushing you to keep pushing yourself and telling you, you can't do anything you enjoy or even take a break until you complete everything that is how it felt to me.

Basically when someones had enough, they've had enough.

I agree completely i am gonna keep fighting for my child so she is in the right environment and happy and could learn. Thanks for your support.

Thanks that's what i think and we had a meeting the team and i today and they are reevaluating my daughter and i am looking at emotional support placement and i feel like the team a few teachers just think that she wants to make the teacher sad and that she is spiteful. I reported the school in Kindergarten and in 1st grade things got better but since we lost the therapist that was really positive about my daughter then all went downhill and the school made that therapists life a living hell. The new therapists are different and have this same thought of my child and work against my child with the school. I am happy with my decision and i believe too things will change for the better for my child.

We had similar issues and it was hard to figure out exactly what the cause was ... obviously the teacher has to focus on her other 18 students and is not an expert in behavior... even the school specialists can't pick up on everything, since there is no way for them to be experts on our child in particular... and our school is excellent ...

we sent our outside ABA therapist to observe for almost a full day, and she basically chronicled everything that happened in a 3 page summary and noted any differences between the school day and what she observed outside of school... her report was very helpful and calming, just to know exactly what his day was like minute by minute (and some of the news was unexpectedly wonderful)... lots of days I send my son to school and have no idea what has happened or how he felt or how he handled things, unless I get a two line note from the teacher about some incident that may have been only a tiny part of the day... also, she was able to tell us that our teacher is implementing all behavior plans as she should be and doing a wonderful job handling the classroom (we are very lucky)

our therapist had to move, and although my son never really had much of a reaction to the news of her moving, his behavior definitely went horribly wrong for a while, although it could also have been attributed to several other factors... whatever the case he seems to be back on track a few weeks later