Realization of my Parents

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I guess I was going through some odd revealations to realize how much my parents never ever listened to me or understood what I was saying. It makes so much clear sense as an adult now that I have aspergers or some form of autism. I realize as a kid I explained my anger as something where it's either on or off. I realize now I was having a meltdown and not anger. Where parts of my emotional logic just blow out the water. I realize parts of my behavior like uncontrollable tears were part of me becoming overwhelmed, and everyone believed I was faking it. I had all the classic signs of a kid who was indeed autistic and I never got help. I ended up just being a socially weird unaccepted outcast kid. My parents just blamed it on weirdness and never considered the possibilities of something far beyond. I learned a lot on my own. I won't curse my parents out or anything, but I learned how to handle my meltdowns a little better. I sometimes feel overwhelmed when I need a moment of "om". But I guess I thought all about this when P-boy you know him as the second youngest at 19 doesn't see how easy he gets it with his well ability for people to recognize his problems. Dad didn't screw those two up as much as he screwed me up. But I also wish that back in time someone had a different answer than just the "oddball" kid.

((hugs)). That's a thank you for the valuable insight and motivation you are giving those of us who are parents to our own quirky kids. I love my quirky boy, but yeah, there have been moments when we have thought he was overly dramatic, faking it, being willfully ornery. We are struggling to wrap our brains around his lovely uniqueness and help him work through the tough spots.
One of my son's biggest complaints is that we 'aren't listening' to him. Truth is, we are listening--we are really, really listening--but we aren't 'getting' what he is saying. And that's what frustrates him. And us both. We desperately want to 'get him' but sometimes really fall short. He is just 4 1/2--tries so hard to communicate the intricacies of what he is thinking, and just can't. Or we just can't understand.
Well, that's what is so nice about this forum--aspies to help us parents understand our kids and peer support for aspies and everyone in the community. Blessings to you. Really awesome you and your brother have each other.

I understand exactly where you're coming from - my husband and I both want to get diagnosed, but we've only found one diagnostician who will do the ADOS for adults, and we'd have to pay out of pocket for it. When I see my son going through everything he goes through, I realize more and more that I'd have been far less lost as an adult if I'd had some simple compassion and a bit of help.

I don't think we really needed the diagnosis, expressly - it's the blaming words, like "weird," "oddball," or the ones teachers used "doesn't work up to her full potential," "bright but doesn't apply herself." I once had a psychology professor in college who said he thought there was no such thing as "lazy," and that moment was a revelation to me, as I'd thought I was lazy my whole life - because that's what I heard (if you met me, you'd laugh at this.)

I'm sorry, Pandora. The good news is that your brothers and our kids are being born into a slightly better world than we were, and maybe we can backtrack into what we need now.

I am sorry, Pandora, that you had to grow up with so little understanding. The world is confusing enough for a child, but when you add that layer, it becomes nearly a wonder that kids ever sort their ways out of it.

I really hope - and believe - that what we all, here, now know will make a world of difference for our kids, the ones still growing up and living in the confusion. You are a part of making that change, and we thank you for it. I hope the talk helps you, too.

Thanks everyone. I don't know what this weirdness is about me. I found myself becoming way more thoughty in expression than usual. And it's nice just to say that you guys are doing what my parents never did for me. They never sought out a different path. When I was in middle school I was sent to a mental ward. They thought I had bipolar. And the psychologist who wanted to ommit me to the mental ward never took a second look. Never said, maybe he isn't bipolar. No she just said I was crazy and that I needed to be locked away somewhere. That was...not....it was an interesting experience let's go with that.