Fighting the good fight---alone

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I have been having deep periods of feeling down in response to feeling so alienated from other spec. ed. parents. I have been in my current town for 3 years and my son was dx 2 1/2 years ago. I jumped right into all the parent groups I could find. One was an advisory council for spec. ed. 2 others were local support groups.

The end result is that I found the groups wanted little to do with true advocacy. They were more about coffee socials and lunching and complaining with no true resolution towards change. The adsisory council was actually a nightmare. I was very vocal and found some women who did not like me and always found ways to minimize any of my input or not allow it. These are the same women that would bring treats to the 2 hour meeting for school staff. I was told to always say something nice about the school district before I criticize anything. I couldn't do that as I had nothing nice to say. Can you tell I wasn't well liked? I wasn't crude or hostile, I just didn't make any false statement about the state of autism services.

The support groups were worse. Women in cliques according to their kids dx. There was one woman in particular who for some reason or another had alot of influence with many people. She ran the lunches and now is helping school board candidates get donations. Problem is the candidates she's supports do not care about the spec. ed. community. I have had personal experience with several of the candidates and they are slime. Can't go into the personal details but I know the school board does not care about our kids. They just pander to us.

I know many of the personal stories about these parent's children and some stories are really bad. Yet these are the same parents that keep on complaining in private but will do nothing publicly. We could have power in numbers in any of them had a spine to do such a thing. This is where I'm so down. They go on with their stupid little groups that produce nothing in the end for our kids and I think the parents help set back the cause for a good decade.

I thought "our community" would have been better brother in arms but not in my town. This is just so hard for me to let go of and to let go of my anger towards my community. Am I alone in this?

Wow, I am so sorry to hear about what has happened for you. Our community doesn't have anything like what you have described as far as support or advocay groups so I can't say as I have any direct experience to share. I have participated in several volunteer groups and had some less than atellar experiences. Reading different autism related boards and websites and I have been shocked sometimes how far some peoples' views are from mine. This forum is one place where I find more people whose views I can relate to. It sounds like you may be up against a brick wall with the advisory council. If the other members are all stuck in the same mindset you may be wasting your energy fighting against them. Even if you can't be effective on the advisory council, you can make a difference for your child and yourself. At times when I have felt down about how things are going with outside groups, work, etc. I try to turn my focus inwards, do things that are good for me and my family. Take care.

I don't know much about these parent groups, but I am not at all surprised that they do nothing there and are mean to people who want to do something.

Some groups are like that....they are wolves in sheep's clothing keeping the status quo.
Sometimes of the biggest sharks in a community are in non-profit groups.
Makes sense now huh??

Anyway, I am not a parent, I have autism myself, but if you need someone to talk to pm me.


Jojo