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A student said this about my daughter

1) please stop reading here if you think you may know me in real life
2) I strongly believe in my students, and I go out of my way not to relinquish their confidentiality
3) I am like a lioness when it comes to my children. I defend them!

A student who has has long standing behavior issues at our school, and whom I've regularly written up for sayin sexually inappropriate and/ or racially inappropriate things, has a spececific euphemism for f@ck@ing. Fishing.

This morning he said he wanted to" take my daughter fishing."
The tone and volume in which he said this made his true meaning quite clear, "I'll f@c@ your daughter."

My daughter is 6.
The student in question is 15.

My daughter has been diagnosed with asperger's.

I am very upset that this student would say such a thing about my child. He said it in a threatening fashion in the presence of my younger daughter.

The school "will do something about this."

They both ride the same bus home, and nothing was done to penalize the young man prior to dismissal.

I am very upset about this.

If you feel I've given enough information for you to provided feedback, let me know how you advise I proceed.

Please respect that I am doing all I can do to solicit advice while still respecting the student's right to privacy (I.e. if you think you can guess who I am, and who the student is from this post - pm me rather than post on an open forum.

Thanks!

this is the world we live in. there is little or no consequence for sexual crimes, let alone a 'simple' threat. You can go to prison for getting caught smoking a little dope but not hurting anyone, or for doing absolutely nothing but being surrounded by complete idiots (west memphis three). You can murder your child and be found innocent by a jury who are apparently not competent to interpret actual evidence ( casey anthony).
the justice system is SH*T. there is no justice.
I am sorry to sound harsh but this is the way I feel, I feel if I can convey this to you it may be beneficial to the safety of your daughter.
Take matters into your own hands. Remove your daughter from this individual.

Part of me wants to say if you feel you can find the power move the social systems to enforce justice and provide the protection that they should, then do.

Another part of me thinks you should not put your faith in such things, when it comes to the safety of your child, it is too much to risk to hope you can make things the way they should be.

The student in question certainly deserves punishment, however in the vast majority of cases what he said would be an empty threat. You mentioned he had a history of saying inappropriate things, but does he have a history of violent behaviour? It would be extremely rare for someone to start their pattern of violence by sexually assaulting a 6 year old.

I would report his behaviour (as you have) and continually remind them until some action is taken. You may also want to find alternative transport for your daughter if possible, or perhaps ask an older student to keep an eye on her on the bus.

WILL.

DO NOT let her ride the bus. maybe or probably this sick kid will not act on his words. good chance he just enjoys shocking you and scaring you. probably and maybe are NOT things you play around with when your child's safety is at stake.

it doesnt matter if he's 'joking'. that is not something you joke about. keep your girl away from him, threaten the school with a lawsuit if they dont handle the situation immediately. My thoughts are expulsion, and some serious therapy. The boy needs to understand the severity of making threats. Hopefully it is just a joke to him, and he will be totally alarmed by the consequences. People need to learn to take this stuff seriously, and he should never be around your daughter again.

I agree, I would not leave my daughter alone at any time without someone to protect her from this boy. A 15 year old is nearly a man and she is a baby!

that's bull.

he's already old enough to be tried as an adult. Press charges against him.

I will agree that there is a high likelihood that this is an empty threat: my own son has said all kinds of things that he didn't intend people to take seriously. HOWEVER, there's two issues here: 1. What if we are wrong, and 2. How will this person learn the consequences of using this kind of language if everybody acts like he "didn't mean it."

I would demand that the school provide protection for your daughter, either by assigning an adult to ride the bus, or by providing her alternative transportation. I think I would also ask the school to have police investigate - I am not 100% on this one, it kind of depends on the police where you are. I don't want the young man to wind up with a criminal record for saying something stupid, but I do want him to understand that he's stepping into the world of criminal activity. If police tend to overreact, maybe not - but then I'd want the school to use the protocol they would use when a teacher is threatened by a student.

An implied threat towards your family usually meets the legal definition of stalking, depending on the laws where you are.

What I'm not clear on: do you think this is a threat of violence towards you, but couched in these terms towards your daughter? I'd tell the school you want police involved.
Is this a possible use of inappropriate language (e.g. did he say this to somebody else, not to your face, were other kids joining in the discussion, were they talking about other girls?) Not so sure, I would still want protection for my daughter and for this boy to understand the seriousness of that type of language.

The tone of your post sounds like you are quite disturbed by this student's threat. Having recently been the victim of a random act of extreme violence, MY inclination would be to report this to the police but that's me and I will fully admit that my opinion is tainted by my recent experience. Maybe you could first warn the school that you are going to the police and give them an opportunity to do something such as what momsparky suggests to protect your daughter. There have just been way too many stories in the news lately where if someone had just been a little more suspicious or asked a few more questions, children would be alive or unharmed. I mean we recently heard a story about a child who was arrested for drawing a picture of him killing his teacher. What you have described sounds far more directly threatening than a child's drawing.

There was a local case here where a girl was being sexually harassed on her school bus, the district did nothing about it, so the parents went to the local news station. As soon as the news station contacted the school district, said boy was removed from the bus.

Just sayin. YOU shouldn't have to provide alternative transport/your daughter shouldn't have to be inconvenienced with a different bus route. SHE'S the victim here. If you have to in the meantime, so it, but keep fighting them. If he's a threat to her, he's probably a threat to other girls as well.

yes it is bull, and im all for pressing charges, and putting your all into that. Im just saying dont be surprised if the law is not upheld. If he hasnt acted on the threat in anyway chances are the charges will be dismissed. The system is often more a tool for protecting monsters rather than their victims.

again i am not saying to dont try to go a legal route, im just saying dont put all your eggs in that basket, you will probably be disappointed. anyone who has had a different experience with 'the system' good for you, it sometimes works. but i have seen it fail too many times to put an ounce of my faith into it.

I'll just be another voice of agreement to those who have already spoken.

Not to freak you out, but my younger brother was abused by a 15-year old boy who went to the same school as we did. It happens, and although the kid who said something to you may just be mouthing off for attention or because he doesn't like you, you have to consider these things:

A) If he is just mouthing off, at minimum, someone needs to send him a strong and clear message that such behavior is not appropriate, not accepted and will not be tolerated. If the school won't do it, then you should get the authorities to. This is for HIS benefit! And consider it as helping prevent future victims from experiencing his verbal abuse.

B) His words may be a kind of 'cry for help'. He may have some strong emotions/feelings he is afraid of, and wants someone to stop him before he acts on it. He may have been abused himself. Not trying for shock value, it is a valid possibility.

C) He needs to be off the bus. Or you need drive your daughter. But she should not be in any situation where she might be put in contact with him--even just verbal contact. I was deeply scarred as a child by the sexual threats/innuendos of my brother's abuser. (I didn't know about my brother's abuse at the time.) Verbal abuse can be as scarring as physical abuse. Her teacher should know of the situation so she can keep her eye on things on the school end.

D) You should not feel guilty in any way, shape or form about taking this situation VERY seriously.

Blessings on you and your sweet daughter. She'll be fine, but just don't be afraid to STEP UP. My parents never did.

Is there any other lad about the same age as this guy that you could maybe ask to keep an eye on your daughter? Just because there's one lad doing that doesn't mean the other lads his age wouldn't be disgusted and wouldn't do something about it. Kids live in a kids world, they see things that adults never catch a glimpse of, you need someone on the ground keeping an eye on things for you. For that you probably need another kid, you can't rely on teachers.