Pregnant at 21.

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Hi everyone! I'm 7 weeks pregnant and I'm still a little bit uneasy about it. I need advice in order to feel better about something that's new for me, as well as rather scary.

I found hypnobirthing really good (its like meditation), helpful in making the birth less frightening and less painful. I found this book useful and Ive downloaded birth and pregnancy meditations on to my mp3 player as well.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hypnobirthing-B ... 219&sr=8-1

I would recommend getting some books on pregnancy and early parenthood out of the library so that you know more about it all and what to expect.

and google whether there are any antenatal groups in your area as they can be helpful in getting to talk to others in the same position.

I second that recommendation to read, read, read!

I read the "What to Expect When You are Expecting" books when I was pregnant. They have good information, although they did trigger my worry in certain areas that I wouldn't have otherwise thought of, so beware of that if you are an anxious type like me.

My favourite early childhood parenting book is "Becoming the Parent You Want to Be", and I highly recommend it.

Which part are you feeling more anxious about the pregnancy and birthing part, the parenting an infant part, or becoming a parent in general?

Are you able to talk to your Mother? Is she around? Would she be helpful?
I got my best advice from my Mom and she would support me and listen to me when I was worried about every little pain I felt. I was only 19 my first pregnancy and every twinge I worried about. I would also get What To Expect When You Are Expecting....also baby names are fun but you can look those up on the internet, I always liked doing that.

Think about things like breast feeding, epidurals, cloth or disposable diapers and maybe you can look into your hospital if you are having your baby at a hospital or birthing center for first time Mom classes. I had my son (my first) at a hospital but it was in the late 80s and even though the whole natural birth thing was already big, I had a horrible nurse who wouldnt even let me hold onto my own legs. I had my two next babies, my girls, at home with a midwife. My Mom was not as helpful then, she was terrified but I had a hospital only a few blocks away and I loved my Midwife and having my babies at home was so much more relaxing and I was very happy.

I had no drugs with my first three even though the stupid doctor tried to give me some sort of numbing medication "down there" and I didnt want him "down there" with a needle so I squirmed and he put my leg to sleep....like something out of a movie I saw . I did have a epidural with my fourth child just to try it out....it felt great and it was good because he came out face up (they are supposed to be face down and they dont come out as easy face up). I was not frightened at all to have a baby at home. If the hospital worries you, you could go to a birth center where the rooms are like normal rooms....I strongly recommend water birth....the warm water and the weightlessness of the water is a natural drug and it relaxes you.

Not going to lie....it hurts and epidurals are great...I just wanted to feel everything, Im weird that way. It also helps if you are going the natural route to get an exercise ball and sit on it....it helps the baby descend into the pelvis and also helps big time with the pain that you will have "down there" when the babys head is starting to push on you. Never feel bad about not doing a natural delivery....epidurals are harmless and do not drug your baby or you...they just block the pain. I got really shakey but I still felt all warm and comfortable....the only thing that worried me was that the baby would come out and I wouldnt know I kept making my husband check....I did feel my water break and that made me feel better, I figured if I felt my water I would definitely feel the baby. I wanted an epidural with my last baby.....number 5 but the anesthesiologist was doing a c section so I had to have her natural. They asked me if I wanted something, I said no because I knew it would do nothing for the pain and only make me dizzy and the baby sleepy. I was fine until the moron doc decided to break my water....I went from 3 cm to 9 1/2 in 15 minutes....my nurse was flipping out and my doc came in just as her head was coming out .

Make sure you have some help when you get home, Mom, friend, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend....whoever is wiling to help you. Its great with your first because you can nap when they do and its so much more relaxing when you dont have other kids to take care of. You just need someone to baby you while you are taking care of the baby. Enjoy yourself this is the best time.

Can you tell us what you are most worried about?

Thanks so much for your advice, love!

I'd go for... being a parent. It's creepy. PLUS I look so young... 16 or so.

Yes. I'm worried about feeling the baby kick... and about not being strong to push the baby out. And about caring for him/her, of course...

I was terrified for the first several months of my pregnancy for no reason at all: sadly, it's kind of a part of being pregnant. Keep in mind that some of it is fear of the unknown, but a significant part is also due to hormones. While reading and researching may be a good idea depending on your personality, do be a bit careful that you don't go overboard on following every bit of advice: in no other time in your life will people heap you with so much unwanted information (not speaking of what just happened hear, I'm talking generally - wait until you start showing!)

Make sure you're seeing an ob-gyn or midwife or other professional (they will want to see you in about a week, so call now if you haven't already) and run any specific concerns past him or her. Keep in mind that fertile women of all ages have been having babies for over a million years; some things just kind of happen naturally and go the way they are meant to go. (Think about how much work it is for people who don't want a baby to end a pregnancy - it doesn't happen by accident!) You and your baby will be fine: you will be able to push the baby out; the doctor or midwife or nurse will see to that. Nobody lets them stay in there!

Another thing: babies go through stages of development even in utero, so most things happen fairly gradually and give you a bit of time to get used to them: kicking is one of those things. I remember the first kick very early (significantly earlier than I was supposed to feel it, but I'm hypersensitive to changes in my body and I KNEW it wasn't gas) it felt a bit like holding a kitten wrapped in several layers of quilts...you can barely feel it. By the time they are walloping you (and though they can sometimes get excited, remember they're floating in a big bag of water, so it never really hurts) you are used to it.

Getting used to having to pee constantly and having breasts like rocks was harder for me; that stays pretty constant throughout pregnancy; if you've become accustomed to those, you are fine.

Congratulations! I've found being a Mom to be really, really hard...but totally worth it and then some! I'm very happy for you.

I think this is important to remember! There are plenty of things to be nervous or worried about but the vast majority of pregnancies and births happen without any complications. When I was pregnant with my first baby, I read a book written by a midwife at a commune. For years she helped hundreds of babies come into this world at home and only on one or two occasions did they have a situation where they had to take Mom to a hospital. This inspired me that if they could do it at home then I could certainly do it.

Parenting is a daunting task, there is no way to know what it means until you do it no matter how many books you read. Do reach out to family and friends for support. You aren't alone!

Also this pregnancy Ive been using bio oil http://www.bio-oil.com/en-us/ its quite expensive but well worth it, I put it on after my shower while my skins wet and Ive not had any stretch marks this time, where as I had loads on my other pregnancies.

I avoided threads online that talked about miscarriages and stillborns and deliveries since most of them are about complications and hard labor. I found them too stressful because then it would make me worry about what if it happens to me. I had to learn the pattern at Babycenter about what threads to not click on when they say certain things in their thread title.


Also for maternity clothes, you can wear large tops and if you have pants that are elastic in the waist, they will fit you fine throughout your pregnancy, same as if you have large tops. You can buy maternity clothes at Goodwill or baby resale stores. They are expensive when they are new and I never had to buy maternity clothes except for two pairs of pants which one of them got big on me within a month because they kept falling down so I only wore one pair. I needed a pair for work. You are supposed to gain weight but I got thinner while my tummy got bigger so I never went below my pre pregnancy weight until after I had my baby.

I also read about how to eat healthy during your pregnancy and I avoided almost all sugary foods and TV dinners and only stuck with wheat pasta than boxed pasta that came with cheese and I avoided hamburger helpers. I only had food that the books recommends and I had a book on pregnancy healthy eating and used it as a bible for what to eat. I still had some sweets but not as much. This made me not gain a whole tons of weight. But I had a hard time eating every two hours but I had an easier time remembering to eat and I was more motivated to make my food and eat veggies and fresh fruit. Now I have slipped back to my old eating habits after my son started to have solids and more of them.

First of all...feeling the baby move for the first time was, for me, when I fell in love with my baby. Its amazing to thing there is a living child, your child inside you and they have arms and legs and are kicking you. I will tell you toward the end of the pregnancy, especially since it is your first you will feel like you cant breathe sometimes and the baby may push or kick you so hard that it hurts but since its your first and you dont have anyone else to take care of (if you are working you should be on leave by then), you can lay down. You can prop yourself up in bed so you can breathe and one morning you will wake up and feel like something is different and all the sudden you will be able to breathe better.....they babys head has descended into your pelvis and time is getting close....they call it when the baby "drops". You will feel a bit better but still uncomfortable. Dont force yourself to eat too much, small meals are fine. Oatmeal is awesome actually....I also recommend the book "What to Eat when you are Pregnant".

I know what it is like to have people stare at you....especially old ladies. I was in a fancy store in a restroom that had chairs so I sat down and was breast feeding my son and they started talking about babies having babies....tell the MYOB....They may not know what it means but if they think about it they will get it "Mind your own business". I used to tell people this all the time when I was younger and Im 44 so dont feel bad if you are accused of using text talk.....you can tell them you got it from an old lady who used it before there were home computers As far as pushing the baby out and labor itself, dont worry, we are all afraid of that with our first. If you are worried something else might come out dont worry....I worked in the health field for years and I even changed elderly peoples diapers. The people that are helping you deliver your baby have seen and heard it ALL! If you are not strong enough, if the baby is too big they will know this before hand because they will be feeling the size of the babys head and measuring your tummy. Dont worry, the baby will come out....we all have these fears. Its unknown territory and its scary but as I said maybe having the baby in a birthing center or if they have one at your hospital that looks a bit like a hotel will make things easier for you. If you dont feel comfortable with your nurse....have your support person (please try to find a support person or write everything down that you want....they call this a birth plan) ask for another nurse.....all these things are very important. Being comfortable and having people that make you feel comfortable....even bringing your own blankets and pillows.....music, anything that will give you a sense of home will make you feel worlds better.

Like I said in my first post do not feel bad about getting an epidural, it will not hurt you or the baby and when done properly you will feel no pain or even the worry about anything coming out that shouldnt , Just try to breastfeed as long as possible because lord knows what they put in formula besides its an awesome and relaxing experience. The hormone Oxytocin is released during labor and when you feed your baby and when you are breast feeding it is very relaxing and great for those of us who have anxiety, its forces you to relax. Have someone make you a beaded necklace if you have long hair....my kids liked ot play with my hair and the beaded necklace was awesome, they even sell breastfeeding necklaces.....my son, my 4th baby, still likes to twirl his hair and he would twirl mine to get to sleep but the necklace worked when I fed him. Also use the breastfeeding pads when out in public because it is kind of embarrassing when you are out without your baby and someone elses baby cries and your milk comes down and the whole front of your shirt is wet

I loved being pregnant but I know its scary with your first one. I was going to be a Doula (someone who cares for the Mom before and during labor and even will come to your house to check on you when you go home) if we did not leave the US but my bone disease is too bad anyway, still I did take some classes and worked for OB/GYN's both as Medical Assistants and as a Phlebotomist. Im certainly not a doctor but I do have a lot of experience, having my own five and working with pregnant women.
If you have any questions you dont want to post here. Ill be happy to answer them, just send me a Private Message. Ill be in the hospital for the next two weeks but they have wi fi so Im taking my laptop and Ill check here. You should ask your hospital if they provide Doula's to women who dont have any help if you dont....otherwise some work for doctors as well.

Hi,

All pregnancies are different, so there really isn't much other people can do to "prepare" you for it. I very much enjoyed feeling my girls kick. It was a nice gentle pressure and a reminder that I had someone close to me to love.

Trust your instincts. Don't be afraid to speak up if things don't feel right to you.

Both of my pregnancies were difficult. I don't want to share negative stories because it would just scare you purposeslessly. The moral thought, is don't be afraid to ask: ask for help, ask if x feeling is normal, ask about what to expect.

Remember to eat well and get rest.

As far as not being strong enough to push the baby out... the uterus is the strongest muscle in your body. Some women aren't allowed to actively push for medical reasons and their bodies can usually push strong enough even without their active participation.

Babies moving inside feel amazing! Fluttery at first. Towards the end it can get uncomfortable or distracting (at least, it did for me), but it wasn't too bad.

Try to read some positive birth stories too... people like to tell horror stories about their births, but there really are a lot of positive birth stories that aren't freaky or scary