two bathroom issues

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This problem has probably been addressed before, but I'm sneaking and doing this at work, so I'm in a hurry. He's 3 years old, and although he's never liked it before, suddenly he started bolting out of the bathtub whenever it looks like I'm about to reach for the shower hose. Now he refuses to even get in the bathtub and will thrash and kick and scream if I try to force the issue. He's starting to smell funny and baby-wipe baths are just not cutting it.

Also, the automatic potty in a public restroom flushed extremely loudly and scared him and now he won't pee anywhere but our house, his preschool, outside, or in his pants.

Any suggestions?

Unfortunately, sound cancelling headphones won't work if exposed to water. It will short out the battery, but try bather's earplugs. Also, don't rinse with the shower. Maybe fill a container from the bathroom sink to rinse him off with after washing him in the tub.

As for toilet issues, man those public restroom toilets sure are LOUD. I was in one recently, and had to be there a while--I have IBS. I hated it every time someone else flushed, and also when my turn came, too. And this even though my sound sensitivity isn't as bad as many others here. All I can suggest is to keep him out of public rest rooms for a while, and then use sound cancelling headphones. You should get them for him now, as he is already having a problem with this.

Hope this helps.

We had both of these issues: We still have the noisy bathroom one to a point, and my son won't do #2 away from home, but that is another issue.

Regarding the bath: You can keep him away from the bathroom while the faucet is running, for the sound issue. The aversion to water is a harder problem. We used baby wipes, too. Our son is hyperlexic, so we got him foam letters that stayed in the bathtub. (He had plenty of other letter toys, so no, we were not cruelly depriving him of letter play---these were NEW toys. The only way he could play with them was to take a bath. It eventually worked. You could try that with something that appeals to your child's special interest. It took awhile because he was (is) averse to being wet.

As far as loud toilets, at home he would not flush. We would do it after the fact. As far as out and about, we had so many problems with getting him to use an outside toilet, even for #1, that we just didn't make him flush it. We were lucky he even agreed to go. I know it isn't the nicest thing, but there are far more disgusting things than a little pee in the toilet. He hated the faucet noises, so we'd use wipes for his hands.

Thank you for the hints, guys. He doesn't mind flushing at home--in fact, we have the opposite problem. He likes flushing our toilet over and over again. He's broken the handle. we have to turn the water off to the toilet and the sink sometimes to keep him out of it. He's fascinated by water and afraid of it at the same time.

We have those problems too. I used to not be able to bring my son into a public restroom because the sounds terrified him and he'd be inconsolable. Now that he's a little older (he just turned 4 and potty trained at 3 1/2) he likes to flush the toilet at home and when we're out he's torn because he likes to flush the toilet but doesn't like the sound, he just covers his ears now ... maybe you can teach him to cover his ears with his hands? It's actually a nuisance now because he wants to explore all the bathrooms everywhere we go now. I also try to use unisex/family bathrooms whenever possible because they're private and you don't have to worry about other people flushing or setting off the hand dryer in there. I also have problems getting my son into the tub (also hyperlexic), lately I've been coaxing him in by letting him throw all of his toys in first and then playing with them from outside the tub, once I've got his interest I'll pick him up and put him in. I've never been able to use a shower on him either, I fill a bowl of tub water, count to 3 and dump it on his head.

We don't have that issue with our 3 yo old son so unfortunately I don't have any advice. I will be watching to see what others post, though.

The isse we have with our son is that he will ask to use a public bathroom, not sure why, but when he is home. he won't ask to go to the bathroom. He will just hold it until we take him to the bathroom. If we don't eventually take him, he will have an accident. When we take him, he still have to remind him, most times. to pull down and up his pants. etc.

I am hoping this will improve with maturity.

I like the idea of putting all the toys in the tub and playing with them from outside! That might help you get him back near the tub without kicking and screaming especially if you are able to get some brand new toys (or new to him).

As far as rinsing in the tub we have always just used a cup to dip and pour. I can hold one hand so it keeps the water from pouring down into his face if he will sit with his head tiled back and pour water from the cup with the other hand. That always seems to be the major problem for him, getting the water in his face.

We too has the public toilet issue, DS would usually be OK if I let him go then allowed him to step out of the stall while I flushed. I would always get out ASAP if is was a bathroom with one of those electric air hand dryers. The noise of those things would make him crawl right out of his skin. DS is 6 now and these problems have largely faded.

Maybe remove the shower hose for awhile and see if he can just take a regular bath. Make it so that the shower hose can be replaced later. As for the toilet, at least he uses the toilet at home. Some "normal" kids today are staying in Pampers longer than ever so much that they make a Toddler size so I would not feel too bad about that.

A few questions:
Could the water from the hose have been too hot or too cold on some occasion?
Is the water pressure high?
Will he use the hose if you let him use it himself?
Do you have to use the shower hose to clean him well? My parents just gave us old fashioned baths and they always seemed to work fine.[/quote]

The temp and pressure are very mild. I had similar issues with this myself as a child as the water "tickled" (not really the right word but as close as I can get to explaining the sensation). If I let him have the hose, he sprays it all over the bathroom. He just doesn't like getting his hair wet at all, even if I pour it. I've showed him how to tilt his head back and cover his eyes, but he still freaks out.

Can you convince him to get in the tub and wash the rest of his body but not his hair? They make dry shampoo that I recall using when a loved one was in the hospital and washing hair wasn't really an option. Maybe if a product like that would work you could greatly reduce how often you need him to wash his hair. Just a thought. These struggles with everyday tasks can be so dang difficult.

My 7 year old, now likes to play in the tub with measuring cups, so I use a measuring cup to pour water on his head, and guide him to tilt his head, slightly back, because he is still getting the hang of that. Before he let me do that, I had to cup my hand and fill with water and gently wash the shampoo out that way. It took longer, but that was the only way. He now understands it will take a shorter time with a measuring cup, and after being acclimated gradually, can tolerate the measuring cup.