mainstream wth aide or special ed

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This must be the usual dilemma most parents face in deciding which class suits the best for her child. My son(pdd-nos) was mainstreamed from preschool to K (aide in K & speech resource class).He has NO behavioral issues inside or outside the class .He will usually day dream or talk off topic or do mostly parallel play which is where the aide needs to intervene.

During his annual IEP(he will be in grade1 this fall) , he scored low average in maths and oral language.But with overall score he did not qualify for special ed based on his evaluation and his criteria was "speech". Since I knew this was coming I had given them his latest private eval which had dx of autism. The school did accept this and made him eligible for special ed changing his criteria from speech to autism.

Now they are advising me to put him in a special day class (mild to moderate).They want to take off the aide stating that he is bcoming dependant on her & the special day class has less kids(15 kids curriculum K-grade1) so more attention,more social skill classes.

On one hand I feel like a mainstream classroom would be good for him because of the cognitive/academic and peer modeling benefits, but I also have a hard time imagining him getting much out of it as the class moves at too fast a pace for his learning style. A lot depends on how the aide performs wth him.
I also worry that the self-contained autism classroom might not provide as much academic benefit, and others have cautioned me about the risk of him picking up problematic behaviors from the other kids in the autism classroom (my son models behaviors from others a lot) I don't know if this is a realistic concern or not. But then again the better attention based on his needs in the special day class sounds appropriate for him.

I just cannot make up my mind , attending special day class (wth pull outs in mainstream class on subjects he's strong at) means I will lose the mainstream wth aide. In future even after he graduates to mainstream getting an aide will be very difficult. special day class will provide him more services.

Please advice and suggest.
did anyone have any goals mentioned for the aide/para???? if so what were those?
I am soooooo confused

I would appreciate some advice from you parents that have been there/done that!

I am not a parent. But I was also a well-behaved, although poorly participating, student. I know that as a child, if I had been put in a Special Education class - especially when I know I am not disruptive - I would have felt that 1) I was being punished for poor participation, and 2) I would have felt that they were telling me that I was stupid.

I know that not all children in Special Education classes have cognitive impairments, but - especially for UK children - the connotations of 'special education' are all very negative. Also, maybe I am just being dense here, how would being in a Special Education classroom help him to learn to socialise better? I know for me the only thing that helps me learn to socialise better is to have an encounter with a person and then afterwards, with the help of a Neurotypical, preform a 'social dissection'. Although that may not work for your son, it's the only thing I've found helpful.

I think that main-streaming is often preferable for children without any serious cognitive impairments, not because of Special Education but because of how it is perceived.

Having said that, if you feel that he really will benefit from Special Education - in a way that is worth sacrificing the benefits of mainstream classrooms - then by all means, do it. But make sure you explain the reasons fully, and that it's not because he is cognitively impaired.

I fear my response may be very uninformed, purely because it's based mostly on personal experience.

Kids can learn and do learn well in special ed classes. My freinds son, no official Dx yet, but has a lot of spectrum characteristics is in a slef contained class and did some MAJOR learning this year. He went into this year not knowing alphabet sounds, not reading a single word, no math skills, etc.. and he is reading, writing, and doing simple math now. A 15 class is a large class and that is pretty much academic based, kids in 15s dont have any real behaviors and are usually academically on par or close to their peers. It might just be the extra attention your son needs!

good luck!

My wife and I had this dilemma last year. We decided that mainstream with an aide was the best model.

Pros - normal curriculum and opportunity for accelerated learning
- normal social environment

cons - often the school can be inflexible and you need to work with them to negotiate or compromise
- bullying can be an issue

You overlooked the best option of all. HOME SCHOOL!