Military style school for OCPD and inattentive teen

Post Reply New Topic

We have fifteen years old who is HFA and kind of classic OCPD with a lot of inattention.
The boy sure has disability, but intentional component also seems quite a big one.

http://www.minddisorders.com/Ob-Ps/Obse ... order.html

As explained above the boy behaves quite differently when at home vs when he is outside.
Although we are going thru therapies and boy is on medication but quite frequently thought pops up, is home the best environment for such boy keeping HIS future in mind?

Will militarily style school will serve him better with discipline and help with his obsessiveness?
Or keeping his ADD in mind some therapeutic school will be a better option?
One time somebody made a comment about him; such kids learn better when they are put into a crisis?
Please share your experiences and opinions about this.
Any pointers to additional information helping making such decisions will be appreciated.

TIA, Raky

I don't think deliberately inducing crises is a rational approach to autism at all.

You can't beat autism into submission.

Honestly, I think that sort of school would be akin to hell, for my daughter. She has concentration problems and appears to lose attention quite readily, but it's not deliberate on her part and no amount of externally imposed discipline will change it. In fact, I think it would make it worse. Those sorts of measures have been tried at school and she just gets into panic mode and any chance of her concentrating has been lost. Her problem is specific and not just down to not knuckling down. A relaxed atmosphere gets the best out of her and I don't think you'd get that at a military school.

It's kind of the way things were done in the past. My parents went to ordinary schools, here in Scotland, but they were regimented. Kids only spoke when they were spoken to and punished for speaking out of turn, even when they weren't trying to be cheeky. They don't have many fond memories of school.

I had considered sending my daughter to a private school (not military), because of the small class sizes and subsequent reduction in noise and other distractions. However, I realised that they were very big on rules, e.g. you must wear these specific gloves in winter. I doubt they would make exceptions for one child, who has sensory issues. And even if they did, she'd stand out like a sore thumb.

You have to do what you think is right, but I definitely wouldn't do it to my child.

I think military school would be horrible for someone with those sort of difficulties.

I agree with the above. This sounds like a really bad idea.

I agree with that.

I am not a parent. But I am a person who has lived life on the spectrum and I try to be a pretty good person.

I really think obsessive-compulsive problems are kind of the other side of the coin for those of us on the spectrum as compared to our constructive passions. Here are some things which I think help for OCD:

1) The idea that bad outcomes sometimes just happen and we're in it together as family and/or friends. It's like baseball, you can play percentage baseball, but sometimes bad stuff just happens and it's counterproductive to blame people.

2) As a teenager, I was worried about both germs and chemicals. What has helped me a lot is learning general first aid and health information which I feel comfortable sharing with other people. For example,

New York Times, Denise Grady, Sept. 3, 2009.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/04/healt ... .html?_r=1
“ . . . In children without chronic health problems, it is a warning sign if they seem to recover from the flu but then relapse with a high fever, Dr. Frieden said. The relapse may be bacterial pneumonia . . . ”

This is great information! (and one can't always get information this specific and do-able and practical). There's no moral approbation with getting the flu, so I feel comfortable sharing this. I can even undersell it, 'No, doesn't necessarily mean it's pneumonia . . . but might warrant a phone call to the doctor. . . And using the word 'pneumonia' is probably even better than a word of profanity. . . ' Seems like a doctor worth his or her salt should take this seriously.

3) Striding consciously for middle-of-the-road. For example, a medical student explained to me that, say, with a classic dog phobia, there's two mistakes a person can make. One is putting your face right in front of a mean dog. The second mistake is going overboard and expending a lot of energy to avoid all dogs.

The middle-of-the-road approach is, okay, here's this nice friendly dog. Maybe I'll pet it, maybe I won't. If I can get of get this feeling of zen indifference, that either choice is a good choice and I can hold that for a pregnant pause, that's actually pretty good. Now, crucially it needs to be my choice, not something foisted upon me.

Is this how you are measuring intent? Most children that I read about here follow that behavior, and I used to think it was intent on the part of my son: I've come to realize I was very, very wrong. Some children on the autism spectrum have a sense of what behaviors are allowed around their peers. If they can't control their own behavior, they "save it up" until they are in a safe place, and then they let loose. Home is most often the place where this happens, not because they are punishing their families, but because it is the only place where they feel safe.

My son's needs were not being met at school, leading to extreme explosive behavior at home. We have learned to meet his needs (pragmatic speech therapy, social skills classes, and certain accommodations at school like preferred locker placement and place in line, and the ability to take breaks, voluntary PE class.) and this has led to not only a reduction in explosive behavior, but has given us a way to measure what's going on at school: every single time we've had some behavior at home, we were able to go back to the school and find that they had made a change in his accommodations without telling us.

Military or boarding school will only be helpful for your child if they are able to meet his needs, which I doubt. Finding a good diagnostic team (usually headed by a neuropsychologist or developmental pediatrician) and figuring out exactly what his needs are should be your first step. Seeing to it that your school is on board with these needs is the second. If you can't solve the problem by doing this, you might want to consider a specialized program that is tailored exactly for your child's needs.

I would also be very, very careful about a diagnosis of OCPD. Did you get this label from a specialist? The reason I caution you is that there is an awful lot of overlap between AS and OCPD, but the interventions are totally different. Treatment for OCPD involves therapy - traditional therapy doesn't work well if there is a social communication deficit, unless the therapist is trained to work around it. Here are the diagnostic criterion, just for your information; I can easily see where the "Restricted repetitive & stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests and activities" of Asperger's Syndrome could be read as the perfectionism, obsession, and rules-driven behavior of OCPD depending on who is looking:

OCPD
Asperger's Syndrome
Autism spectrum social communication deficits

I can't imagine this working for my son. He needs some flexibility. I look at it like structure is good when it provides "protection from chaos and the unknown.) ; Structure is bad when it does not allow for different solutions when needed.

Military school is not known for flexibility. What will happen if your square peg won't become round?

That is amazing!

http://www.minddisorders.com/Ob-Ps/Obse ... order.html

This is not exactly one of the finest moments in the history of mental health professionals.

First off, to call it a personality disorder is a slam and seems largely unnecessary. Why not just plain ol' OCD which people are largely familiar with?

And then, the letters OCPD looks too much like COPD, or Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease!

I didn't read the article, but FYI OCD and OCPD are two distinct diagnoses.

http://ocd.about.com/od/otheranxietydis ... D_OCPD.htm
http://www.ehow.com/how_4517605_differe ... -ocpd.html

These are not the greatest article, but they do a quick synopsis of the difference between the two.

I'm kind of the opinion that it doesn't help to call anything a "personality disorder."

That this is a way to cheaply criticize a human being, instead of merely accepting that sometimes different just means different.

A good start would be referring to him as "my son" rather than "the boy".
It sounds like you are emotionally detatched from him. If so, you may be unconsciously looking for a reason/excuse to ship him off somewhere. You may even be considering a military school BECAUSE you know it will be difficult for him, just as you feel he has made your life difficult. He doesn't deserve your retribution.

I didn't pick up on that when I read it, but it sure is an interesting observation.

I agree that the wording sounds a bit disturbing however, not knowing what country a poster may be from, I try not to jump any conclusions in regards to language used. Some things like this may just be due to bad interpretation?