Encouraging fixations and obsessions?

Post Reply New Topic

Hi, just wanted to get opinions on whether or not its a good idea to encourage fixations?

My 4yo daughter is particularly interested in death, snails and picking flowers. I struggle to get her to stop picking flowers at school when the children have all been told not to and there are notices up now too. She also accidentally mauls snails/worms/woodlice to death on a regular basis as shes so heavy handed with them. She thinks of them as human and as she enjoys swimming she thinks they do too, but they dont, they die!

We went to a museum on holiday and they had a small display about decomposing animals and faeces with time lapse photography, she sat perfectly quiet and still watching the videos on loop (she never sits that nicely for anything!) and we had a job dragging her away, it was the only thing she had been interested in for the whole holiday! I am tempted to make her a dvd of similar clips, she also liked watching a venus fly trap catching bugs, but not sure if thats a good idea.

I dont like to discourage her when she really is passionate about something and it makes her happy, but on the other hand shes getting told off by teachers for constantly picking flowers and picking up snails and worms etc, she coloured a snails shell in with chalks the other day and left one in a tub of bubbley water, a third one was saved before anything happened to it! She has no diagnosis yet but the school are aware she is being looked at. However they dont agree that anything is different about her. I worry her constant talk of death and dying could upset other children too, as she has quite an extensive knowledge on the subject, more than most kids her age.

Also I m concerned that her creature fixaton and death fixation may merge, at the moment she only ever accidentally kills stuff....! Shes not too bothered about that either, also our cat just died and shes said shes glad. I have tried turning these fixations into positive things but shes not interested in learning about animals or flowers just messing with them and mixing them with things.

Last edited by ConfusedNewb on 12 Jun 2012, 2:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well if the obsession is interfering with other things (such as school) then I would not encourage it.

It also sounds to me (and I am no psychologist!) that she actually likes the animals, I don't think she's going to suddenly start killing them.

Maybe she could start her own flower garden so she could know when it's appropriate to pick them, and she could learn about how flowers die too if that's her thing. I think what I would do is encourage the fixation while coaxing it into another healthier direction, for example tell her about how all the dinosaurs went extinct but branch out and maybe she'll become fascinated with all the different kinds dinosaurs, archaeology and evolution instead.

Just a look at the positive side (at least to me) of those fixations.
Maybe she will be an entomologist
Maybe she will study anthropology
Maybe she will be a crime scene detective
Maybe she will open a funeral home
Maybe she will an autopsy forensics scientist
Maybe she will be a botanist
Maybe she will ... fill in your own blank.

Somebody has to interested in those things to fill those jobs. We do not all fit in the same mold.

As for making people uncomfortable, learning her own strength, and breaking the rules... what a great way to get her interested in learning all those crazy social skills. Help her figure out how to share her special interests in appropriate way... I can imagine all the interesting conversations you will have in the future.

I strongly recommend to encourage obsessions in autistic kids.

Firstly, from my own experience, when someone tells me not to be interested in something, I feel like they're personally rejecting me. My interests are part of who I am. (How many NTs, if you ask them to describe themselves, will spontaneously mention their interests? I believe it's the vast majority.) It can be really hard for an autistic kid to maintain a high self-esteem, growing up in a society that's often not very autistic-friendly. Encouraging an interest and allowing your child to share it with you is an excellent way to communicate that you like her for who she is.

Secondly, they're just so darn useful! There's a great book called Just Give Him The Whale: 20 Ways to Use Fascination, Areas of Expertise and Strengths to Support Students with Autism that has a whole list of ways in which you can make use of an autistic child's interests. Examples include incorporating their interests into the lessons, using their interests as rewards for good work, using them as a basis for social interaction (I used to go to zoo camp as a kid), helping them cope with stressful situations, etc.

Thanks everyone, I too feel like I should let her investigate her interests as she pleases. Our cat died recently, went missing for 3 weeks and when she was found she was pretty decomposed, I wasnt sure if I should let my daughter see her, decided against it in the end though. As predicted my little girl wasnt the least bit upset about the cat dying, she was just desperate to get our there and dig her up to have a good poke with a stick! Maybe I should have let her see the body Shes seen dead birds the cat used to bring in so Im sure she does understand that death is final.

I am somewhat fascinated in death too, although not to the same extent, I am interested in nature and animals of all kinds, so Im not bothered when she brings me creatures to look at, I will happily hold spiders etc. The other day she stripped off to her knickers and found two house spiders which she allowed to crawl all over her (even on her face and one nearly got eaten!)while she giggled, it was hilarious to watch!! Im thinking shes hyposensitive too so this was a great game for her.
A few years ago I bought her some pet Land snails which she loves, we also have an iguana so Im not adverse to her fixations for what most people consider to be 'creepy'.

I hope the interests broarden as she gets older and we can sit down and look at books about animals/insects/flowers together as I would really like that. At the moment shes not willing to learn anything from me but isnt old enough to read a book herself, and her attention span is very short. I would love it if she could one day get a job doing something she loves as that is a rare thing

Thanks will definately look this up!

There is a difference between encouraging and allowing obsessions and allowing rules to be broken, though. You may want to try some social stories to explain what the rules are for flower picking and for handling small bugs so they aren't hurt.

For instance, you could show her how much work it is to garden by collecting some of these images: http://tinyurl.com/cglslcx and maybe ending up with this one http://www.cartoonaday.com/happy-mothers-day-2011/ or simply http://tinyurl.com/7ut9sep

Here's a kid's book on being gentle; you will have to explain how her situation with bugs is similar: http://www.amazon.com/Gentle-Bartholome ... 0744581311

Yes. I thing the interests are fine but in addition they should not be interfering with schoolwork and other things that need to get done.