I let my kids stim. Is this ok?

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My twins have ASD. They are 2.5. They like to jump up and down and hum when they are home. I feel like this is their way of relaxing. Do you think it's ok that I don't interfere with this?

Therapists suggest weighted vests and trying to distract them. I just feel like they need to do it. I worry that when they get older it will appear socially unacceptable. I don't want them to be ostracized, but I feel like it will work itself out (like when they are able to speak) and they will either determine a more socially acceptable stim, or they will just be people who jump. Either way, I juts get the gut feeling that they need to do this right now and I shouldn't interrupt.

What are your thoughts? Please be gentle on me, I'm still learning, and trying to be the best parent I can to my sons.

Last edited by Treysar on 03 Jul 2012, 8:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think it's absolutely OK to let them stim, as long as there isn't a risk of them hurting themselves (and there doesn't appear to be).

Stimming is an AS/autistic trait, and it's likely that they will stim in some form forever but as you've suggested the stims may change. I still stim in various ways, and it hasn't damaged my life in anyway. Of course jumping up and down when they are 35 might not be ideal (although I know someone who doesn't have AS who jumps up and down and dances in the street - he is an excellent Headmaster at a private school) but they are so young and may well 'grow out' of this stim and onto something else.

I'm not a parent but I think that your gut feeling as their mother is quite right. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job looking after your sons.

I let my son stim, he needs to. I do think that there should be some time limitations, so if they're going at it a long time I would try to distract a bit. It's important for them to get the sensory input they need, but if they get too stuck in it they aren't going to do much learning. If my son does it out of boredom I try to distract him, if he really needs it for another reason I leave it alone. If it gets too long I try to get him into something else. As for more socially acceptable forms, some people might learn more acceptable forms on their own, some will not, and with time you may have to show them some other ways to get the same input if you don't want them to get teased, but they're still young. My son used to do this vocal stim constantly, it drove us crazy, it was really uncomfortable when we went out because he was just kind of doing this guttural type of hum all day long. I can't describe how irritating a sound it was. He grew out of it though. He now does it rarely, he can go entire days without doing it. I used to be able to get him to stop by singing to him, so I realized he was looking for some auditory input. By providing it to him in a more acceptable way he let go of his old way by himself, slowly but surely. My son also really enjoys rubbing a fleece blanket on his cup and other smooth surfaces. When I tried it to see why I totally understood, it feels so nice! So as he gets older if he's still into this I'm going to cut him a small piece of fleece and he can rub it on things at school if he wants. There are ways to let your children keep stimming while not making it so obvious that other children tease them. I think you're doing the right thing by not stressing too much about it.

I think it is okay to let them do it, as well.

Moreover, people with ASD usually hate being interrupted while doing something. This is very true for me - in fact, that is why I avoid doing certain things during certain times of the day (due to the high risk of interruptions).

[Moved from General Autism Discussion to Parents' Discussion]

I hope that people with AS/ASD will respond to this now that it has been moved. Do only parents read this board? The opinion of people like my kids is important to me on this - they know more than I do about stimming.

Parents are more likely to focus on this forum than others, and I moved the thread here because I thought that showing it to parents with children on the spectrum would result in useful, practical information being posted as many would have encountered similar difficulties as yourself.

good point! Thank you

everything in moderation....nothing too much is good, even if it feels good. I see no issues in letting them stim for a while, but in moderation. Not all day instead of socializing, learning, playing, working on goals, etc...

When they're older, you can teach them that stimming is likely to distract or annoy others; they can learn to do the more obvious ones in private and to use less obvious ones in public. But they're so young now and it probably does relax them, or it's fun, etc. Maybe it even helps them think better like my stims do for me.

I totally agree with this. My son does visual stims, waving things in front of his face, looking at things from different angles. He is 3 1/2. At first, we limited his stims to 10 minutes and then redirected him to do something more productive. I don't know if it is because of that or just him maturing but now he doesn't do any stim for more than 10 minutes. He does it for about 5 minutes at a time now.

The only time we leave him to himself is when he is tired and needs rest. We will let him rejoin the group when he is ready. He has never been bothered by us interrupting him while he stims. Not sure if that's just his personality or if it's because his symptoms are mild.

The only time I intercede is if there is a safety/property issue. Mostly I do this by redirecting to another location or whatever with the same sensory enjoyment possibilities but no hazards.

My son can multitask so it does not interfere with other pursuits. Other things do, but that is a separate issue.

Don't make them be something they're not. If it's harmless (even if people pick on them and make them feel sad) it's the bullies that should have to change, not them. I must confess that at first when you asked this I thought "The fact that she has to ask others proves she doesn't have a mind of her own, which might be dangerous to the children if he decides based on others' opinions that the kids must nto stim". Now I realize from the diversity of the other answers that you were just confused...

Whether or not the bullies should change isn't relevant because they won't, it would be a shame for children to go through teasing and bullying as a matter of principle because of not wanting to give in. It's not as easy to cope with bullying it is to say that's what they should do.

My son was never bothered when we stopped him from stimming either. He would just go do something else! When he was 2 1/2-3, he used to run his hand along the wall, or a fence, or the outside of a house, etc...If I took his hand off he would go play. If I didnt he would do it over and over. It never bothered me for that exact fact, that he didnt care when he redirected him, and I never thought it was an issue or anything ASD related casue he would happily stop and go on to another activity.

But I do alow him time to veg out...Jayden likes to watch you tube (mario and luigi video game) or play the DS, and he likes to jump and pace when excited, and he loves to chew (we got him a safe chewie). But in moderation!! !

If it's done in your home, it's okay. I see no harm in it. But however if you live in an apartment above somebody, then I would discourage them jumping up and down.

But at school they may be facing bullying real soon because kids be getting annoyed with their humming and get mad at them about it and the teacher too. Same as if they have to jump up and down in class when they are supposed to stay seated, that would also be bad for the class too. Then it would be time for them to find another stim at school that wouldn't be distracting for the whole class and make them targets for bullying.