It's official, my daughter has ASD

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I met with the psych and they said she had moderate to severe aspergers, however with the new guidelines coming out it would be moderate autism with no verbal delay. I started calling down the list of phone numbers right away. I haven't told my husband yet, not sure what his reaction will be. He doesn't really buy into autism other than when people are so severe with it that they can't talk and they hand flap constantly. The doc said her high verbal ability is very good thing but is also why we didn't recognize it earlier.

Hang in there. You didn't really have a question, but I wanted to offer my support and let you know you are not alone.

Wow well done, its a long road to diagnosis and it sounds like you have done it alone. I too have a 4 yo daughter (also very clever with an excellent vocab), we had a break through last week and a Dr gave as good as a diagnosis although its not yet official. My husband was also a non-beleiver but thats because he has it too but never been diagnosed. I was doing it all alone but it all turned around when we had the almost- diagnosis and now hes on my side. We watched the movie Temple Grandin the other night and he recognised so much of himself in her that he has decided to check himself out with a Dr too. Often one of the parents will have Aspergers too as it has a strong genetic link. The only problem I have now is to convince my Mother in law who is exactly the same lol!

So great that you have the diagnosis, I know our little break though made me feel so much better, I know Im not going mad and imagining it all now! At least you can start to change things for the better now and help her with any difficulties she may have.

Good luck

I have found a great link for family who wont accept diagnosis, its for Aspergers though. Made me feel better if nothing else, as you know the non-beleiving problem is actually quite common.

Especially for Grandparents of children with Aspergers

She actually has aspergers. The doc didn't want to call it hat though since the new criteria for diagnosis are eliminating aspergers and rolling it into autism. So aspergers will no longer exist, it's autism with no verbal delay. Seems like they are splitting hairs to me.

I strongly suspect I have it, albeit I think I'm more mild than my daughter. My husband also has some traits. My dad has some traits. My brother has some traits. My husband thinks that since we're all ok that she will be ok with no intervention. I told him she is more "Severe" than any of us and that maybe 20 years ago we could have gotten her through the school system, but now with no help I've no doubt she would have serious issues or get kicked out. She gets very violent and hostile towards the other kids when they touch her toys or interrupt her. Shes already been kicked out of one preschool so I think this is something we need to jump on and do whatever we can to help her.

Another counter-point to your husband's current take on the situation is that for you and him and other family members in that generation, none of you knew what Asperger's was so there was no way to get any support for the things you all found difficult. Yes, its true that she might make it through without interventions but it would almost assuredly be much easier WITH interventions. If you have the ability to make things better for your child than you had them why wouldn't you choose to take whatever steps are available to you? That's what most parents do.

It is better to know what you are dealing with than not. Sometimes it takes awhile for it to soak in. Husbands are usually easier to convince than MIL's because he sees her everyday.

Part of me wants to say congratulations! Not to downplay the struggles, but more in celebration of what truly awesome kids ours are!

Regarding your husband's view...who knows how much better than "OK" you could have been had you gotten the support you needed?

In my "day" kids like mine would have definitely been left to fend for themselves. I am so thankful that isn't the case for them. We all deserve to be the best "mes" we can be. I know my kids will have brighter futures because of the support they get today than they would have had if they would have been my peers in my "day".