Special Interests (4yo boy)

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Hi! (This is my first post here.) I've been reading a lot (A LOT) about HFA, PDD-NOS, and Asperger's lately due to concerns that I have regarding my son. He is 4 (I also have two daughters, ages 16 and 3). I am planning to start blog on this site (what a great feature!) as I work through the process of having him screened, learning to cope, and teaching him ways in which he can learn to adapt and function (and hopefully enjoy) everyday life. Whether he is officially diagnosed or not, I believe that he will definitely need to learn different ways in which he can self-sooth, calm anxieties, and act appropriately in social situations, so I am very happy that I found this site.

So my question is about how to handle his obsession(s). Since age 2.5, his primary interest (almost to the exclusion of everything else) has been firefighting (specifically fire trucks, but including everything else - gear, uniforms, firehouses, even Dalmatians despite his fear of dogs). I'm torn as to how we could proceed . . . do we continue to indulge his obsession will encouraging interests in other things? Do we stop indulging his obsession? By "indulge," I mean, continuing to purchase him toys and other items related mainly to firefighters (he already has several toy fire trucks, an authentic looking fire fighters uniform, books, a very large pedal operated ride-on fire truck. We have visited the fire station (they now drive by our house (on the same road as the station) and if they see him outside they honk and wave.

I am perfectly fine with continuing to allow him to enjoy and learn about fire trucks and firefighters and will continue to foster this interest in any way I possibly can . . . as long as I am not harming him in someway due to the limited time he spends on other interests.

I apologize if this is a topic that has been discussed here before - I admit that while I have lurked around other topics I did not do an exhaustive search on this one in particular. Any advice or shared stories re: similar situations would be much appreciated.

Last edited by june7tuck on 04 Aug 2012, 3:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't think I remember seeing a lot of topics that stayed on the subject of "special interests" (which is the technical name for this trait of autism) but there is a bit here or there. My son was also obsessed with firefighters at that age, but since has moved on to other things.

If the special interest isn't hurting anyone or anything, many people consider it a "way in," or a way to connect with your child. You could share stories about firefighters and spend social time together talking about them. For instance, a kid obsessed with firefighters might be persuaded to learn math once he knows that firefighters have to use it in their daily work. He might want to learn to do housework or learn to cook, because firefighters do that, etc. You can find other kids his age who like firefighters and see if he will play with them.

Since my son's current interest (or one of them) is weapons and concerns me, we limit his access to it. Basically, we've said that weapons and violence concern us, and if he wants to learn about them he needs to learn to control his temper. We've given him a lot of tools that we expect him to use, and he "earns" a certain amount of TV shows about weapons, etc. if he successfully uses the tools we've given him (e.g. going to his room for a "break" when we ask, using acceptable language to express his feelings, etc. - note that the incentive is to use the tools, not to stop being angry.) We've worked with a therapist to make sure his goals are appropriate and achievable.

Special interest is the perfect way to describe his fascination with fire trucks. Thank you!

I definitely feel that focusing on his interests have allowed us to connect. Honestly, I thought that it was kind of normal for kids to have a specific area of focus - until he started preschool. His teacher requested a parent-teacher conference because she couldn't get him to play in any of the other stations in the classroom except for the one where the fire truck was kept. He would listen and move on as requested, but quickly drift back to the fire truck. She was also frustrated by the very loud siren noises he made (we have an issue with this at home too). Interestingly, he can be very loud - but claps his hands over his ears when there are other loud noises (including real sirens, which he hears before I ever do). Also, he defaults to this topic every time he meets or talks with someone he is not around regularly. As soon as they say hello, he introduces himself and then begins to talk about fire trucks. This is not particularly harmful, except for the fact that it causes people to look at him as if they think he is very peculiar (which drives me bonkers). It doesn't seem to bother him now, but I'm concerned about the future.

I'll continue on as we have been allowing him to enjoy learning and playing with fire trucks and pretending to be a "volunteer firefighter." It really is when he is the most relaxed and happy. I suppose I simply need to help guide him through appropriate responses when he is meeting new people.

I think that I'm just starting to feel anxious because its getting close to school starting again. I want to prepare him the best I can.

Special interests can also be a way to connect with peers. Especially if they are in the realm of interest popular to his age group.

You can start talking to your son about social skills, and offering him appropriate scripts, e.g. "Hi, my name is _______________, I like firefighters. What do you like?" and then tell him to listen to what the other person says and ask them at least two questions about it.

As long as it's not a huge issue hurting things, I def think it can be a positive thing. The world needs firefighters, and there is a national shortage of volunteer firefighters. I know he's very young now, but it could lead to a very respectable career.

When he gets older, some volunteer fire departments have Fire Service Exploring or Junior Fire Fighter programs that could help him turn his special interest into a job.

I can't tell you from our perspective, encouraging other interests doesn't really work, you've just got to ride it out until something else takes it's place - which it usually does.
We do show an interest and try and 'visit his world' at so that he knows that he is loved and that he matters.

I subscribe to the philosophy that "we use his special interests to teach him skills" -- so my kid likes machines (such as vacuums, fans) and we don't really interfere with what some people would call "perseverations."

However, we also look at whether the extent of his special interest may interfere with learning and a certain amount of social interaction. So if I see my kid "zoning out" and start making motions like he is vacuuming instead of paying attention in a learning situation, I'd be the first to work with our behavioral instructors to find ways of dealing with this, with a clear intent of him keeping his special interest but during defined times when he is able to turn everything into a vacuum cleaner without our interfering.

Keep in mind that when our kids are anxious they may rely on their "special interest" (their beloved well-knowns) as a way to manage their own anxiety, and therefore you may even find that if your child is experiencing anxiety his love of everything firefighting related may amplify.

Special interests are such important ways for us to form that connection, I tend to "ride along" with this to enter my child's world and then once we establish that connection I'd take a bit of the lead and make that special interest more "functional" and in some cases, "socially appropriate." But I'm still working this out and very new at this...

I have a daughter aged 9 and luckily she seems to change special interest fairly frequently (or I'd go mad!). I have found that there is no point in trying to distract her from the special interest, it's too important. It's like a compulsion to find out about, read about, spend time looking at or talking about. This year the special interests have been Horrible Histories and The Smurfs. When I rang the school to explain that the interest had changed, her teacher said "Oh no, how am I going to work The Smurfs into my topic?!" as the history obsession was proving quite useful in class. When I looked at her literacy books at the end of the year, every single piece of writing relates to the special interest at the time - goodness what the other kids write about, but there, in a full range of text types - diary entries, letters, non-chronological reports, recounts, narrative, poetry - was 2/3 of a year's worth of Horrible Histories work (she wrote about historical characters), with 1/3 of a year's Smurfs tacked on. She's also got a long-running affinity with animals, but it's less obsessive than the interests.

What I have been working on a lot is awareness that others may not share the interest. For example, we have a rule that, anytime in a conversation you have been talking about (eg) The Smurfs and said 3 things about them and the other person has not said anything back about them, then it is time to stop talking about The Smurfs.

I also teach special needs children and it's not uncommon to hear siren noises coming from a couple of them. I just ask them to stop and usually they do.

I can definitely understand your concerns regarding your son's interest in weapons, but in my honest opinion, it depends more on what aspects of weapons fascinate him. Is it the manner in which they are used? The killing capabilities of a specific weapon? The history of a specific weapon? Or the mechanical aspect of them? I tend to focus on the history and mechanical aspects myself (I'm fascinated with heavy weapons and have fired several machine guns, but would never consider harming another person aside from absolutely-necessary self-defense). If he is more interested in the "damage" they do, especially to humans, then there are obvious grounds for concern. Your idea about earning "interest time" is actually a great way to regulate the amount of time spent pursuing the interest. With a fascination like this, it's refreshing to see a person who doesn't demonize the individual for having such an interest.

[quote="june7tuck"] Interestingly, he can be very loud - but claps his hands over his ears when there are other loud noises (including real sirens, which he hears before I ever do). [quote]

I've pondered this myself: My daughter gets very upset with loud noises yet her own screaming (which can be much, MUCH louder) doesn't bother her. Also, with smells, she's repulsed and can smell dog poop in the neighbor's yard from many yards away, yet cannot smell herself when she needs a bath. She loves roller coasters which is amazing because she gets sick riding in a car.

I've stopped trying to make sense of it.

I admit, it's a tough call: DS has more than a passing interest in physics, engineering and "making," and I want to foster that...but the gun thing clearly also involves some very frightening fantasies of self-protection and vigilantism. He doesn't discuss the specifics of "damage" to people, and I hadn't thought of that as an important red flag to keep in mind. Thanks for that.

He does talk a lot about scenarios where he would use guns to "save the day" like they do in movies, and doesn't understand that those scenarios never play out the way one imagines them. I do fear he'll find a gun one day (not in our house, of course) and not having the impulse control to keep from playing out one of these kinds of scripts.

I totally understand your concern about it eclipsing everything else. However, you have a really means for teaching other things.

The fact that he is interested in firefights (as opposed to just firefighting) means he is interested in people. This is huge! (My son is 7 and still uninterested in people.)

This means that you have a way to teach about other "community helpers" which you can start by giving examples of what they have in common with firefighters (helping people, uniforms, when applicable, etc.)

By emphasizing the helping aspect, you can get your child to expand his empathy and even help more around the house so he can be helpful like a firefighter.

This is just off the top of head, but if you think about what you can broaden it into, this may help you. Sometimes a special interest can lead to acquiring related special interests, that he may be able to maintain at the same time as his main firefighter one. This happens to us a lot.

You seem to be on top of things. Keep up the good work! It's also important to maintain an open dialogue with your son, which you seem to do. If protection and vigilantism are what's on his mind, don't be afraid to let him know that parents (and even superhero characters if he's still at the age where Spiderman is epic) can also provide protection, not just the guns.

Thank you - yes, we talk about it all the time as we are able - he's headed into middle school, and is harder and harder to talk to, plus he takes a dim view of parental "help." But we're hanging in there!

A roller coaster obsession doesn't necessarily stem from the intensely pleasant/exciting vestibular sensations that come from riding the coaster. Your daughter may simply be drawn to coasters by how they are a marvel of Newtonian physics, elicit a feeling of danger and elitism, and how following the train go through the track is visually appealing and mesmerizing. My special interest in roller coasters began before I actually started riding coasters, due to all of the things I mentioned above, as well as how I had a very early special interest in height/safety requirements. I always have loved those Busy Bead toys usually found in doctors' offices for toddlers to play with. I bought one during college (I never had one as a child), just because I love moving the beads through the twists and turns and corkscrews to simulate roller coaster track.