re discussion with daughter about HFA
Hi all
I was wondering if any one has advise on how to discuss the subject of High Functioning Autism with my 15 year old daughter. Her school suspect she is and she is under the care of CAMHS (children and Adolescent mental health services) with a psychiatrist who is treating her for social anxiety disorder. She is taking medication for her anxiety which has help very much so and is much calmer and happier in herself. She is due to see her Psychiatrist within the next week (cancelled on Monday due to medical emergency on the part of the psychiatrist). I have tried to talk to her about it but not very well as I was a bit clumsy. I think I am like her with HFA and sometimes don't have very much tacit or understanding on what to say to her.
I have showed her the positives of asper girls see special needs jungle which states alot of really good positives. Any suggestions please as I would like her to consider it.
Maybe I am not understanding your post, but it sounds like you already broached the subject, or was it solely in reference to yourself?
Fifteen is probably a hard age to want to be told this, but maybe if you broach it as that you think you may be HFA and then say that there is evidence that it is heritable, and so maybe she could consider it.
Aside from that, if that does not work I would either drop it for now--or let her psych doctor handle it with her. She may prefer to here it from a professional than from a parent. Fifteen is that kind of age. of course should could still not want to hear it at all, at which point, I would let it drop for now, and just deal with the comorbids that are bothering her.
I think that 15 is an age where kids need supported self-agency. What I mean by that is that, supported by you, it's up to HER if the label autism, or the label high functioning, is something that she wants to take on.
My suggestion would be to share your thoughts on the matter, and to bring her to look at online quizzes, and books on the subject. Tony Attwood has a bunch of great youtube videos on the subject. There are wonderful blogs out there for girls/women. There are fb pages for women who would welcome her presence before diagnosis. (Ask me if you want the name of a safe one.) Give her time to evaluate on her own. Ask her if she has any questions and give her time to process before moving on. She's 15. This is her life and she has to decide if pursuing an autism diagnosis is something she feels will be helpful to her.
You just can't rush this kind of thing. She has to do it when she's ready.
Just wanted to say "hi" as I have a 15 year old daughter with ASD also being treated for social anxiety. My daughter has known her diagnosis for years, but has chosen not to pursue information about it (in terms of online communities, support groups, etc). I think knowing the diagnosis helps her in the sense of understanding why she reacts to things and situations the way she does. Overall, she is much more severely effected by her anxiety then anything else. I agree with the other posters that at this age you can't really force things. Let it be her choice whether she wants to read, research, and pursue a diagnosis. Best of luck to you and your daughter.
