Early Intervention Waiting List

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I'm just so incredibly overwhelmed right now. Within the last 3 months I found out that my husband, myself and my son are ALL most likely on the spectrum. I'm very close to being diagnosed, my husband is going to be next...but my son, who is currently 14 months has a LONG wait ahead of him before he can be assessed. Yesterday, we got a letter in response to his assessment application stating that the waiting list is over 6 months long. Immediately after that, we were in the grocery store and the cashier was telling us about all of the things that her baby (about the same age) is doing. She eventually caught on to the fact that ours isn't meeting his milestones and tried to reassure us that "he'll get there", but it was too late, I already felt horrible. The large majority of our friends and family have abandoned us during this difficult time. Some are offended by the thought of autism being in the family, others I assume are ignoring us to teach us that our "drama" isn't going to get us any "attention" from them (they don't believe us).

I'm just at my wits end. I need childcare assistance because my son is too much for me to handle alone with my AS. The only way that can happen is if I get a job. I don't even know if that would make any sense because most of my salary would go directly to the cost of childcare, and at the end of the day it wouldn't even buy me a break because I'd be at work the whole time.

There's a good chance your health insurance will pay (probably out of network) for a private assessment. See if the nearest children's hospital has a group that does diagnosis. This may in turn open the door for the insurance to cover speech and occupational therapy. You could also give the results to the Early Intervention people and ask for services. Find a local autism support group, meet some parents, and get their advice on doctors and therapists and how the local system works.

Just wanted to add that you should look for a developmental pediatrician. Ask if they are trained to do the ADOS (although I don't know if they use it at 14 months, at least someone trained on it knows what to look for.)

You might also start working your way through the Austism Speaks First 100 Days kit:
http://www.autismspeaks.org/docs/family_services_docs/100_day_kit.pdf

Thanks for the help, I'll look into these suggestions.

[quote="lady_katie"] The large majority of our friends and family have abandoned us during this difficult time. Some are offended by the thought of autism being in the family, others I assume are ignoring us to teach us that our "drama" isn't going to get us any "attention" from them (they don't believe us).
/quote]

I imagine that there are some people who feel awkward and don't know what to say or how to help so think it's easier (for them) to stay away. it's not right but it's very much human nature.