Do NT Parents develop/acquire a social delay?

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J-Greens
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05 Sep 2012, 8:00 am

I was wondering if some of the traits of ASD child get naturally passed on or AS traits develop for an NT to use?

It's a strange topic, but recent events have made me think...it's widely accepted that ASD take longer to socially develop & I've heard that we can be as far back as 10yrs, socially behind NT's in terms of experience and maturity. Recently and strangely, for I see no reason at all - my Father & I are, well, bonding, like a teenage father and son would normally do, but I'm 24!

There's no logical reason for this happening. No recent social or family events have taken place that has led to him - and it's all his effort, I'm merely accepting because I'm trying to be more social to get some friends and a girlfriend (Which is the main aim, really) this month. It doesn't make sense.

So I've come to the conclusion that either he has learnt some of my AS traits and simply caught up and started doing things we didn't really do when I was 14-15 odd or has he developed his own AS traits. I could bloody well name a few that answer a few annoying questions especially about his addiction to clock watching and his single-bloody-mindness when it comes a task or project he has his sights set on. I usually have to prepare food for him to eat at his desk, or constantly distract him long enough to remember to eat.

I don't know. I don't mind this time we're now spending together. But I'd like to know where the hell it came from and why.

edit:
I forgot that this may be important, but that my Father isn't my Biological Father. Adopted at 3. But we're so similar in appearance and interests...



Wreck-Gar
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05 Sep 2012, 9:07 am

An adult would already be developed. I think the one with the delay is be you.



Bombaloo
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05 Sep 2012, 10:40 am

Perhaps he has finally come to accept your AS and/or has begun to recognize those AS traits in himself. Some people can be in denial for a LONG time then finally come out of it. Just a thought!



Mama_to_Grace
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05 Sep 2012, 6:50 pm

I think is pretty common for children to bond better with their parents once they are in their 20s. The angry/angst filled days are usually over by then and people tend to appreciate their parents more when they get a bit older.



J-Greens
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06 Sep 2012, 7:52 am

It just seems strange coming from out of the blue. I just don't get it!
Thanks anyway :?



InThisTogether
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06 Sep 2012, 7:39 pm

I didn't "bond" with my father until I was in my 30's. I don't even really know why I am stating it, except that I don't think your story is that unusual, even among typical people.


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whirlingmind
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08 Sep 2012, 7:57 am

J-Greens wrote:
I was wondering if some of the traits of ASD child get naturally passed on or AS traits develop for an NT to use? his addiction to clock watching and his single-bloody-mindness when it comes a task or project he has his sights set on. I usually have to prepare food for him to eat at his desk, or constantly distract him long enough to remember to eat.


Well he could also have AS himself, just because he's not your biological father doesn't mean there can't be a coincidence like that. Alternatively, there are some AS traits which NTs do also have, perhaps not to as high a degree, or they are isolated traits that in themselves are nowhere near enough to be diagnosed with the full whammy necessary for AS. Also, there is evidence out there that when someone is diagnosed with AS, people start realising close family members (past or present) have also got at the least quirky personalities and may have AS. There is a type of AS lite that is mentioned in places, sort of like a shadow version.

Of course as others have said, children do tend to get on better with their parents when they mature (both parent and child!), but this doesn't account for the traits you mention above.


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