Dancing and mirror watching daughter

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My daughter (8,9) with Asperger's likes to dance so much from age 2 or actually since she can stand on her two legs. I remember an occasion when she was two years old and she was watching an Arab tv network where music clips were shown. She imitated the Arab women dancing quit well. Through the years it has confused me, because her movements looked so grown up. I had to tell her that she shouldn't move like this or that, because it looked too sexy for a three, four or five year old girl. I didn't know about her Asperger's back then. I explained to her that she could dance anyway she liked at home, but that she had to know about context of dance movements before she could dance outside. Maybe I was wrong about this. I don't know. But it scared me because one gets to hear bad things about people being attracted to little girls and boys.

Only recently I found out that my daughter and I have Asperger's. Now I think this dancing of her, the grown up, sophisticated way she does it is some sort of echolalia with movements. Could that be? I also think dancing is a physical outlet for her.

Another thing she does is looking in mirrors all the time. ALL the time she can. It's her biggest hobby besides drawing and sorting out clothes to wear. I feel this looking in the mirror is becoming some sort of stimming. Could that be?

I look at myself in the mirror all the time, and I point my finger the way that Austin does.

And would you say that it is some sort of stimming?

Stim or not, this dancing could grow into real talent. But since you consider the dancing your daughter is doing as too erotic for a young child, try showing her another dance style. Try Waltz or Foxtrot, which have been around for centuries, or a more modern dance, such as Swing or Salsa. After all, these dances are easy to adjust to a child's skill level, and they're popular for a reason. (I recommend staying away from dances like Tango, Merengue, or Lambada for the time being, since they might also be too erotic.) If your daughter is averse to partner dancing, show her the just lady's parts of the dances. That way, when the middle school and high school dances start rolling around <cringe>, she will have the skills needed to enjoy those events.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 12 Nov 2006, 1:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I never thought of more classic dances. That may be a good idea. What about streetdance for kids or Flamenco for kids? I think she has a talent in dancing. I keep MTV and other music chanels away from her because she will probably be walking around like a professional fly girl in less than a week time.

She also has a talent in drawing. She wants to start making animations. But she's only eight. I know the basics of Macromedia Flash, but I think it will be too difficult to oversee that software.

I danced from about 4 or 5 on. I need it to relax and now that I have no time alone, I get really tense. It's stronger than the Drink.
The dancing coincided with my obsession with music. Weirdly, though I obsess over music I can't really dance too.
I did a lot of hip movements (like belly dancing) and didn't think there was anything wrong with it until I was in 6th grade and these girls said I was dancing like a slut. For me dancing was an outlet, a personal thing and I didn't associate it with trying to look bad. I still prefer dancing alone.
I combined the dancing with looking at the mirror. I just thought it was me, but my son does it too. He dances with the tv and loves to look at mirrors and his shadow.

I'm not sure what streetdance consists of, but some styles of it might be too hiphop-ish for your tastes. Samba or Flamenco (both of which were originally street dances) might be fun alternatives. Watch some videos on those dances to see if they'd be appropriate for you daughter. However, the reason why I suggested classic dances is that they can be very useful later in life, in situations like these:
* Proms
* Office parties
* Weddings
* Romantic dinners
* Dance studios
* Many other social occasions

Hm. I'm in The Netherlands. I don't think classic dance is really something in the life of young people here. It's really something people do in dance schools. Mostly old people.

But there is a Flamenco studio close to my home and they had plans for lessons for kids. So maybe I should look into that.

In my case with the Austin Powers impressions, yes.

can't stand the show myself, but....do you get "dancing with the stars" over there ?...many B-list actors and actresses work with dance professionals to learn the classic dances.

No, I don't think we have it here. I never saw it. But I'm going to see of I missed it. I wouldn't watch it. My daughter liked a show called something like "Stars dancing on the ice" very much too.

I might be dated on this, but The Funky Chicken seems to be popular with little kids.

Hi there,

My five year old daughter with AS does the same thing! She loves to dance around the house and seems to be very moved by music. She is always trying to watch herself while she dances.

She recently began a ballet class for young girls and she gets so into watching herself in all the mirrors in the studio that she has actually fallen over! Like holds the pose, looks into the mirror, is just totally involved in her reflection, then loses balance and falls in a heap. Luckily its a class for four and five year olds so nobody cares!

I have noticed the interest in dance and mirror watching has increased as my daughter has become more aware of how she looks, what she wears, etc. She is quite interested in clothes and notices what other girls in her class wear. I guess it is a good thing as she wants to fit in.

Perhaps the interest in what she looks like is unavoidable as we live in southern california where there is a lot of emphasis on how you look. I think, sadly, that even very young girls here get the message early that image is everything.

Take care!

My 10-y-o boy has always enjoyed his reflection. Even when crying, he'll run to the bathroom to see what he looks like. Even when he was little he'd try to see what he looked like and would extend the crying while watching the different ways he could contort his face.

She might like trying the locomotion or something similar.

What about tapdancing or jazz dance class? I'm considering this for my daughter. She's almost 7 and also loves to dance in front of the mirror and in general does less dancing than just very pronounced movements with her hips and legs and is very seductive in her movements. I used to think it was because she saw me doing bellydancing at home but I now realize it's in her system to move like that. Very stim like though for my daugher...she will extend a leg and then repeatedly tap tap tap it up and down, or jump out with her legs wide and jump up and down in same position, etc. Sometimes it's comical, other times I think, oh God, please don't do that in public! But I don't say it. I just guide her to her room. She has full length mirror doors on the closet so she's ALWAYS looking at herself, and will also run to look at her face if she's crying, or upset, or laughing...anything.