WORST case scenario - what happens then ?

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One way I am trying to cope with my depression and fear is seeking knowledge of what would happen if my son grows up to be non-verbal and low functioning ?

What happens then ? Do low functioning autistic adults get disability ? What about health insurance ? Will they get SSI ? I am severely depressed and need words of advise and comfort.

I know that there is always hope but I can't shake this fear away. I am non-functional these days and cannot work. I am just paralyzed by depression and fear about what would happen to my son if he grows up to be completely dependent on others for the rest of his life. Who supports him financially ? What about a place to live once I am dead ? Will he end up on the streets ? I am not looking at my daughter to take care of him - it is not her problem and who knows if her husband (if she marries) would even permit her brother to move in with her ? Do group homes exist for autistic adults ?

Please help. I need to know how the worst afflicted people turn out financially and medically ? I think I would be a lot less depressed and hopeless if I found out that he would get SSI & disability and would not be homeless after I am dead and gone. Help ! !

SSI and disability are exactly designed for people who cannot, for one reason or another, be gainfully employed. And there are lots of good group homes and programs to assist those who can't take care of themselves. It is very frightening to think about our kids being dependent as adults so don't beat yourself up for being worried. You must get help for yourself. You not functioning is not helpful. Find a good therapist or go see your doctor. Taking care of yourself is EXTREMELY important right now.

it seems you are describing my feelings 3 months ago.
My son's neuropsichiatrist told me he will never read or write. I want you to know that I'm peaceful again, so you will overcome your bad feelings.
There are many battles to be fought before your son will be grown up. Think about that battles and fight for him.

Nobody is going to be able to answer that. My son is largely a kinesthetic learner, too, in addition to being very visual as opposed to auditory. Yes, it is a challenge but there are accommodations that can be made. My son is has a proprioceptive device on his chair, (an inflatable cushion with sensory nubs) but he is also allowed to stand. He is allowed to move around near his seat etc.

It is not as problematic as it seems necessarily if you can get them to understand your child's issues.

Nostromo,

I just found out that he won't get disability here since his parents aren't collecting disability or getting social security checks. So, we either have to die or go on welfare ourselves in order for him to eventually get disability or supplemental income.

My husband says the same thing that you do - work hard and leave a large estate so our son will always have a roof over his head and food on his table, as long as his sister is around to look out for him and manage his money for him properly.

Since he's just 3, what would be wrong with keeping him home and receiving ABA at home? If you don't have to fight the battle with the public, school system, don't. You can go back after a year and they will have to re evaluate him.

I work at an autism non-profit for educating autistic children. Ackshul education, the three R's, reading, writing (in the form of typing), arithmetic, moar moar moar. The best way to avoid having your son become a non-verbal dependent adult is to educate him as much as possible, lots lots lots. By educating him, I don't mean teaching him to imitate neurotypical behaviors. I mean teaching him academic subjects and language skills to develop his brain and become a thinker. I have spoken to quite a few parents whose kids are teenagers. The kids went through the great big autism system of today and did not turn out as they could have. They had a path of autistic development that was derailed by the standard therapies and lack of education. When they started school, they were non-verbal or limited in speech and language abilities. They were taught no academic subjects, because it was assumed that they could not learn. They were not considered classroom-ready because they moved around too much or even not that much but in an autistic way of rocking that was considered wrong and bad. They did not learn, because they were not taught in ways that they could learn. They got the label "mentally ret*d". Once you get that label, it's all over. Teachers see that and automatically assume that your child is incapable. There is no point in teaching your child, they think. Go to the special ed classroom to do nothing all day, stat. School is the babysitter, not the educator. If they give that label to your son, ignore it, reject it. Don't listen to the professionals. They have no farking clue what they are doing. One speech and language pathologist, the best in my city, admitted to me that all of them were just throwing stuff at the wall to see what would stick. That is not the way to help an autistic child. While the pitching practice is going on, the clock is ticking. Take matters into your own hands for your child. Does your son know how to read? If not, teach him. I work with parents who have been there and done that. Their kids are older that yours, and they are sick of the system that tosses autistic kids into the trash in the guise of helping them. Helping them do what? Here is what happens. The kids show some limited imitation of neurotypical behaviors after they start the therapies. They are less socially aloof and look and point moar or whatever. That gives the parents hope, but what is coming later is the plateau. That happens around age eight or nine. Speech is stuck at echolalia. Reading comprehension is nil. Why? Not because the child is autistic and cannot learn language. Language can be learned, if eggsplicitly taught. I learned at age eight. I had functional speech at age nine. Language skills are stuck at a low level, because the kid is not taught how they need to learn. Autistic kids learn differently. By the time that some kids are teenagers, private schools won't even accept them anymoar, because they are considered difficult cases. That's the end of the line. Institutionalization is sometimes recommended. The best way to avoid that is to begin the education process now now now.

I wrote a blog post about learning to read: [url=autisticandawesome.wordpress.com/2012/08/30/level-up-learn-to-read/]Learn To Read[/url]

YES, YES, YES.... They gave my child the MR label and sent him to a classroom run by a lazy ass B1TCH. NO, I will NOT apologize for my language - I am sick, tired, frustrated and exhausted.

I am not saying my son is perfect. He has delays and he has some challenges but he can learn. Up until his 3rd birthday came and went with nary a word out of his mouth, I was in denial. My older child had been speech delayed and only began to talk fluently at age 2.5 yrs. I ASSumed that boys are slower and that he would speak at age 3 or 3.5. With the clock ticking and no sign of language emerging, I worried. THEN, I got involved. I went to work, teaching him self-help skills first - life skills that he would need, regardless of whether he could learn anything else or not. He picked them up real fast. At 3 years and 4 months of age, he now helps me dress him and can put shoes on and off by himself with minimal assistance. Is that perfect ? NO, but it is a heckuva lot better than where his self - help skills were even 3 months ago.

I no longer spoon feed him. I sit him down at his dinner chair and hand-over-hand him with his spoon. I have only just last week become aggressive about teaching him to eat with a spoon and he is already willing to do some of the feeding himself. Big, freaking deal that 18 months old tots can self-feed and my son will only get there 2 months from now. Who cares when he learns to feed himself, as long as he is ABLE to self - feed eventually ?

He is not interested in toys or puzzles or books. So, I am looking at other ways of reaching out to him and engaging him. It bothers me that the Principal would look me in the eye and tell me that the educational setting is soooooooo different than the home or therapeutic setting ! ! OH, REALLY, B1TCH ? That is EXACTLY the reason why IDEA forces folks like you to make ACCOMODATIONS for kids like mine.

BTBNNYR, I could do with some advise from you on how to teach my child language explicitly ? I am thrilled to read that you learned to speak at 8 and had functional speech at 9. That says volumes to me about the opinions of these so-called professional asshats that language cannot be learned at any age, and that there is THIS MAGIC WINDOW that allegedly closes at age 5, after which kids lose the ability to learn. What a load of crock ! That is what happens when c@@nts inhale controlled substances and then set themselves up as school psychologists or special education "teachers" (note quotes).

Anyway, all that ranting aside, BTNNYR, (and of course, if you have lasted this long through my foul-mouthed vent !), would you share how your parents and teachers taught you to speak ? Did you use an augmentative communication system such as ASL or PECS ? Please advise. Your post gives me a lot of re-assurance that I am not being paranoid about the intentions of these B1TCHES and that my gut was right all along. His teacher is a lazy c@@t who doesn't do a damn thing for my baby. I send him to school to learn, not blow bubbles all day long or jump on the trampoline the entire time he is there. The B1TCH is supposed to be a god-damn teacher, not a lazy-ass baby sitter who does not know her fat lazy ass from a hot seat.