Eating issues

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Any of your children have had eating issues? I'm not sure if my cousin, Jenny has any form of autism. I know that her younger sister Sunny has ADD and autism. Here is what is going on.

Jenny is 13. She resides in Seoul Korea. She's currently going to a Catholic school. She has lived with with my parents and I since March of this year. For the 4 months (March-June) she was here she was fine. She didn't appear depressed or had any eating issue or social issues. The only thing is lack of organization skills that at her age I did way better and I'm LD! Anyways, for the summer she went back to Seoul to be with her parents. She was gone for two months. Well apparently she started eating strange. I don't know how much she weighed when she first came here in March, but I'm guessing around 120 pounds. She's 5'3. Well now she's 96 pounds. She was never overweight. Before from March-June she was exercising maybe 3-5 times a week. She likes the treadmill and runs/walks on it for about an hour. She doesn't lift weights. She did take tennis lessons once a week too. She's basic at that. The difference when I saw her Sep 1 shocked me. She's so thin! Apparently when she went back to Seoul for the summer she was eating maybe one meal a day. She told mom that she wants to be thin like the girls here in the US. That is so strange since a lot of the girls in Seoul are anorexic looking. I know this because I lived in Seoul for a long time. It's like a must to be thin in Seoul. So the 4 months she was first here her menses came on time every month. She was 11 when she started them. So here are some things that are red flags since Sep 1.

-she works out on treadmill runs/walks every day for an hour even if she has a headache, backache or feels like she has a cold

-her hands are always cold
-she is constantly in sweat shirts or long sleeve tops. (We have had some warm days here in NOVA during Sep)

-no menses since Sep. She's not exactly sure what month was her last period, but as far as I know she hasn't had one since Sep. She and I share my bathroom which she leaves a mess. SO ANNOYING!

-when she brushes her hair so many loose hairs fall on bathroom floor.
-hates pizza and Subway (This is strange since before she had Papa Johns with no problems!) The way she eats sandwiches is so odd. She tears off tiny pieces of the crust first then takes out most of the inside of sandwich away then eats it. The way she eats boiled egg is strange. She tears off tiny pieces of white part and leaves out the yolk. She never did this before.

-no butter or mayo apparently it makes her gag. Strange, never had issues before.
-hates salad dressings, where as before she had them.
-craves sweets, yet won't eat it.
-carries a weight scale in bathroom everyday after work out.
-apparently she hates the school food. Well why didn't she tell my parents about it? My parents have paid school food for the 4 months she was here. It was Subway, Dominos or Chic Fila. She ate it fine on the road when we would visit my grandma, but all of a sudden she hates it? I'm sorry WHAT teen hates pizza???!
-she appears shy or embarrased when eating in restaurants


Anorexic?

Thanks

As far as I can tell, yes, very much so.

Please try to get her into counseling/therapy immediately.

Hopefully her mom will take her to one when she goes back to Seoul Dec 16. She supposedly comes back to the US Jan 2. Well let's see what doctor says. This is Seoul we are talking about, a country whose girls are already anorexic looking. But I have no clue what a doctor would think of Jenny. Her younger sister is 10 and is obese and the girl's behavior is exactly like prader wili. But apparently the girl doesn't have that either. I saw Sunny last summer and her weight hasn't changed at all. Still overweight. Jenny's mom is early 40s and was a model before she got married. So the woman is naturally thin and very pretty. I wish I had pictures. Jenny and Sunny do not look like their mother. They aren't exactly good looking.

Sounds like anorexia to me, but Im no expert, just personal opinion on what I believe to be signs of anorexia. I have looked into it previously as a family member has very similar issues to what you are describing, however its a very difficult thing to approach. Although she is young so its more acceptable to drag her to a doctor!

Scary stuff. Body dysmorphia is a very dangerous thing in a young person - I'm most concerned about the physical symptoms you describe, they seem to match http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/anorex ... N=symptoms

Maybe show this site to her mother? Explain that you know she is losing hair and is not having periods, and maybe professional help is important?

Another thing - you mention that her sister is obese - it's possible she is overreacting to how people treat her sister. She may fear losing control of her body the way her sister did. All of this is something to bring up with a counselor.

Good luck.

As someone who is recovered from anorexia, I can tell you that there seems to be something going on there. Trust your intuition on this one.

I don't know if autistic tendencies have any import here, but it sounds like anorexia to me. If this is reinforced culturally in S. Korea, it is going to be hard for her to get consistent treatment. She probably, ideally is going to need to stay put and be on consistent treatment for awhile for it to have a chance to work well. I do not have any personal experience with this, but I have heard that this takes long intensive treatment, and it is easy for them to go back to old unhealthy behaviors. If she is shuttling back and forth between countries I think this will be harder than normal, even, to treat. If S Korean culture (or her model mother-accidentally or otherwise) reinforces anorexia (I have no knowledge about Korea--this is based only on what you have said) reinforces this bad behavior it will be much harder even, then that.

What do your parents think?

ASD Mommy

Mom and dad don't think she has a sign of anorexia. Mom thinks that 96 pounds at 5'3 is ok for a 13 year old girl since she's still growing. When I was 13 I weighed around 110 pounds. I remember seeing photos of Lindsay Lohan when she was not even 100 pounds and she looked sickly! But Lindsay was maybe late teens or early 20s then.



Musicforanna

How long were you anorexic? Did you also hate pizza, chips, or anything sweets? Did you work out every single day and carried a weight scale to bathroom? Was your hands always cold? Did you miss periods and if so how many months? Did you eat 3 meals or cut it by eating 1? I just know that from June-Aug she was with her parents in Korea and not eating nearly as good as with us, but she still isn't eating right here. What teen hates pizza or chips? I don't know about other countries but I'm sure plenty of teens in the US love pizza, chips, sodas, deep fried chicken. Mom made this new beef dish that she saw on Korean TV. Mom asked Jenny to take a sample. The sample was like a size of a popcorn. So very tiny. But she refused! Gosh a tiny sample isn't going to do anything! She loved sweets, mayo, butter, egg yolks, pizza, chips, Subway before. Why the sudden change in short amount of time? How did you get the treatment? Did a friend take you to see doctor? How low in weight did you go? It's good to talke to someone who was once anorexic to get better advise.

Teens do go through odd weight changes naturally; your parents are right that 93 lbs isn't crazy for a 13 year old - I think I was about that weight at that age. Some kids grow tall suddenly and their weight takes time to catch up to their height. Kids also do go through picky eating phases at all ages (my son wouldn't eat pizza for a while, and his friend never has.)

The other symptoms, though, are what are more important. Show your parents the Mayo Clinic page and tell them you've noticed the lack of menses, the hair falling out, etc.

Well the deal is that both parents believe she has no eating issue at all. I guess its none of my business or theirs even though mom is Jenny's great aunt. If she does have a eating issue, then her parents have to take care of it. But my parents are the host family and they should be there for Jenny since she's staying with us. So if she gets really sick then my parents should take Jenny to a doctor. Maybe my parents don't want to talk much about it since Jenny is in the house. Maybe once Jenny goes back to Seoul for winter break, then my parents will talk about the eating issue. I don't think its a phase. She told mom that she saw a lot of young US girls so skinny and wanted to be like them. So for 2 months in Seoul that's what she did. Ate one meal a day if that and her mom and her were arguing. One friend of mom's called mom and asked her if Jenny was sick since she looked so pale. Mom and Jenny met the friend at a asian store. But exercising every single day and carrying a weight scale to bathroom every day is odd behavior. I was a teen and never did this. Clearly when I read early signs of anorexia Jenny has some of them. When she combs her hair its like a huge clump comes out. No menses at least since July. Earlier today mom mentioned to dad good food, June 2014 that's it, and don't mention anything. I assume something happened at Jenny's party. The birthday party was at a ice arena and of course I didn't go since I can't stand teen girls since most are loud and annoying. I just don't like parties. The hottest guy can be at a party and still I won't go. There are only 9 kids in her 7th grade class. One boy only. Mom made a delicious meal today of deep fried bulgogi which is Korean. A friend of mom's found it in the Korean newspaper and showed it to mom. It's good! Jenny took maybe half of bite and told mom that is has fat on it. It had no fat! The cut of meat for bulgogi has no fat. It's the leanest part of beef. So Jenny hates pizza, chips, candy, most cakes, deep fried, butter, mayo, salad dressing. Stuff that older adults may avoid. I think if Jenny was very overweight I can see her avoiding egg yolk, pizza, chips, cakes, deep fried, butter, mayo. OR if Jenny was in her 50s. But Jenny is only 13 and very thin. She was never fat at all. I don't know what happened between June till Aug when she was in Seoul.