Carrying vs. Walking

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I am just curious if anyone has a child who prefers to be carried?

My son often does.

I have thought he might be nervous, but at pre-school they think it is that he likes being hugged. He does definitely like to be hugged.

It has not been that noticable to me, but at pre-school he does need to walk, to do things like go in the main building for his speech therapy. Right now they are trying to get him to walk a few steps, and then carrying him when he is upset. They want him to build up to walking more on his own.

So I am starting to make a point of having him walk a little more when he wants to be carried.

Really I am just wondering if anyone else has had this. I have not seen it mentioned in any book. Also I am not sure about the hugging thing, if there is something to do for that before hugging him. At pre-school they are trying to give him a hug before wanting him to walk, so he will have just had a hug.

He can walk fine, btw. It is just when you need him to hold your hand and walk from point A to point B more than anything else.

We had this issue only when he had to walk for awhile in stores or it was hot or something; not for short distances. He would want to picked up if we were walking around in a store to often, or at the zoo or something like that. We gradually built up his endurance, and it has waned. He will occasionally try it and we tell him he is too big to be carried (He is) and that solves it other than the whining that he is tired or hot or whatever.

I do not think for us it was a hugging thing. He just does not like to push his physical endurance if he does not have to,

How old is your son? Does he walk freely at home and feel the need for hugs/carrying only outside, especially near school?

My daughter was like this for a while. It was entirely due to emotional clinginess rather than any issue about her physical walking ability. In hindsight it could have been an early borderline trait, fear of abandonment, that got much worse later on.

In hindsight, it bothered me more than it should have. I carried her a lot, but there were also times when I believed that she should be walking and I demanded that she do so and she fussed and we fought. If the real issue was fear of abandonment then fighting just made her more insecure.

These days she's uncomfortable with any physical contact and it's been a couple of years since we hugged. I respect her feelings so I never press. In hindsight, my concerns about excessive carrying seem pointless. She naturally outgrew that need anyway.

This may be an issue where it's different for boys than girls. Even at young age, peers expect boys to be more strong and independent.

If a stroller is offered, will he take that?

That gives a clue as to if the bigger issue is physical effort and comfort, or emotional.

My son loved to be carried, and I did carry him - for convenience when we really had to go from A to B, and well, because he liked it and I reckoned that there would come a time when he'd be too big! He's 11 now, birthday today, and he is too big, and he's grown out of it. . He was small for his age, and I was carrying him when other children his age were walking, which a couple of people did comment on, but I shrugged that off.

At the time, I suspected it was because you can see more when you're being carried, and in busy places it must be horrible to be down among people's legs all the time.

He's in his bed now, but I'll ask him .... Now, as he's just shouted me...

Back soon.

Ok, I told him about this question and he said it was because it was good to be carried. When I asked why he said it was because someone else had to do the hard work!

He said he couldn't really remember but of the two possibilities I'd already given, the second was more likely.

I can't remember the age exactly, but I think my daughter was still begging to be carried to a particular school when she was 4, well past the age when she really needed to be carried.

My second daughter has been at the same school K-5 and it's interesting to observe the changes in the other kids who been there the whole time. One really small skinny boy was in her kindergarten class. He has a normal size twin brother. Maybe there were some complications in the birth or pregnancy - I don't know the story because I don't know the family at all. Anyway, the skinny boy was terrified at the start of kindergarten. He cried and clung desperately to his Mom for weeks. For a while the school let her spend the day in class with him, but eventually he had to go by himself. It seemed like every morning was a crisis and my daughter said he frequently cried during class.

Anyway, now he's in fifth grade and he's still small and skinny, but otherwise a nice normal kid and pretty bright. His clinginess and panic over kindergarten separation from his Mom really did not end up being a sign of a long term problem.

With hindsight, if a little kid wants to be carried then I would consider it solely based on whether it was a problem at that moment (e.g too heavy or I was too tired) and not worry about anything else.

My son needed to be carried lots, and is now 7 and on the tall side and still has times when he needs to be carried or held, and he WANTS to be held ALL.THE.TIME. But he understands that he is bigger now and its hard for me to pick him up (esp casue I am almost 6 months preg now).

For my son, it was when he was younger and it was ALWAYS attached to anxiety. When we went to parties, large places, loud places, new places, etc...he NEEDED to be hled or he couldnt go any more, or he would just have a meltdown. He still has occasions where he will require us to hold him or carry him, or sit with him.

You arent alone in this, and I hope as it did in my sons case, it gets better as he gets older.

good luck!