Meltdowns how do I help my mum??

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I'm not a parent
http://www.youtube.com/watch?nomobile=1&v=_mex-otezlY
This is me recorded by family
This is what my mum deals with
I want to know if anyone has to do what my mum does with me and if you know how to help me make my mum feel better? I don't know how my mum thinks and I thought since this is a parent place Somone could help me our dad died 2 years ago also
This behavoir I do not control, this is a mild episode, I could do it for hours without Somone holding me, I AM verbal but my speech is limited, I was born with brain damage that affected how my muscles work (like my mouth and tounge) so my speech isn't clear.

I use a iPad and dynavox maestro to talk.

I am 19

They are putting me in a care home for pepole with autism mum Dosnt like that but says its a good idea

We get no help or support / service

I do get £400 a month DLA disability living allowance

I have limited toilet ablity

I can't cook but I can wash my own clothes (learned not long ago) but am not good with putting in the soap and put lots and lots in

OK.

First of all, what strikes me is how calm and loving your mom is in helping you when this happens. You probably don't need to do anything to make her feel better.

My kids both meltdown at times, though not very frequently. THey do not engage in SIB, but I do sit with them and try to comfort them. I feel nothing but love and empathy when this happens. I do not feel angry. I do not feel upset. I feel love. And sorrow because I can only imagine how my kids feel when they lose control. I don't really know what is going on inside of them during these times, but I can tell from watching them that it is harder for them than it is for me.

I do not know what will happen when my kids are your age. But I know that if they were to tell me that they appreciated how i have always stuck by their sides and always loved them no matter what, it would make me feel really good. I have made mistakes as a parent, but through it all, I have always tried to make sure my kids know that I love them unconditionally. Perhaps your mom is the same. If so, you acknowledging that would probably be very meaningful to her.

How do you feel about your new living arrangement?

Hello thanks for helping me
I ahve always wanted to understand my mum cos I ask her if she is angry (I do that nearly all the time because I alllways pepole think angry by the wya they sound) or if she is sad she always says the same things or Dosnt reply

I can't go outside becuse I often run and just run somtimes on the road mum keeps doors and windows locked because I will just wondering outside

I wear a maxi handling belt wich my mum holds to stop me running away but this extremely limites outings and mum has hard time carrying shopping bags holding my belt strap (I carry some to)

The care home I am not at yet but it sounds better than college I was abused at the college I went to (special education college) and they often restrained me so hard I would be extremely bruised and no they never tired splints or anything or any other method I read that restraint is a last resort when everyhting else is tried they jsut went straight to it, often for such a long time that I would end up using the toilet in my pants (that's why I wear underwears that are different also) which did not make me feel good. Mum hated it when I come home bruised but not from myself from them doing it to me

I am sorry you were abused at college. Yes, restraint should be a last resort. They were wrong to do that to you. Hopefully your new home will be a better fit for you. Your self-injurious behavior (at least what was on that video), is not that severe. There should be better ways to help you deal with it.

Are you aware of what makes it start? Maybe you could work with your new carers to find ways to avoid the situations that lead you to self-injure to begin with?

That was a mild day so yeh it would be nothing realy set me off

Knowne would be able to record me if it was on a worse day.

Somtimes it is on its own , that one in the video I told me mum I could feel it building up so my brother got the camera. Alot of the time I don't expect it or somthing suddenly triggers it.

So,times its just screaming fits

I've had huge bleeding my my arm hand before from biting also

When its more suvere my mum puts a helmet on my head its all chewed up so we are going to buy a new one soon

Thank you so much for posting. I think other parents are really helped both by seeing your video and by reading what you write about yourself.

I think you can help your Mom just by writing her a letter telling her how much you appreciate her, and how glad you are that you have a safe family that works as a team to help you, and who listen to you (like your brother did when he went to get the camera.) Sometimes family just like to hear that what they are doing helps.

Ok thanks for telling me

My mum likes hugs so I give mum lots

But mum Dosnt like it when I drool on mum no Dosnt like that!! (I do that as from how I was born)

But yes mum likes stuff like hugs so I do that lots and mum smiles

I think hugs help a lot. I think if your Mum knew you were writing to ask for help in making her feel better, she'd like that, too.

I agree. The fact that you are asking others what you can do demonstrates how much your mom means to you, shows how much you really do love her. That is a very good thing.

I wanted to post on here because you sound like a very sweet, caring person, but I did not have additional concrete advice., so I hope that is OK. I am a sucker for hugs from my son, so I will say that that sounds lovely.

Your Mum is ace.
And I hope the care home works out well for you.

Autisticgamer, thanks so much for sharing this video and posting! I want to give you and your mom both a hug!

To be honest, just knowing that your child cares about how you feel and wants to make things easier for you will really make a mom feel good. Even if you can't do anything about it, just her knowing that you want to will make her feel as good as she would if you could.

I watched your video and I was wondering where ya'll are from? I'm thinking the accent is somewhere in the UK, but I could be wrong. I live in Alabama so placing accents from other countries is not my forte, although I can listen to a Southern accent and tell you exactly which state the speaker is from and what socioeconomic class he's in. Also, hardly anybody ever gets Southern accents right in movies, never believe that's what we sound like.