Same song over and over and over

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MrEsMama
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04 Dec 2012, 7:07 pm

Hey Parents
I am new here...sorry for jumping right in with a new post...
I wish I had more time to sit and read and help out.

I have a 12 year old son with Aspergers.
We are very much well versed in all that is Aspie.
I have though begun to worry my head with one slight issue.

My son will listen to the same song over and over and over again for 6-8 hours a day.
We home school, and while he is working on his school work, this is what he does.
NON -STOP
I used to be of the thought that well, his brain is not the typical and brain and it must help *right* him in some way, so I leave it be.
Yet something in me wants to put a stop to this behavior. I don't think it is healthy (more so when I am stressed and tired).
Can you real me back in or give me thoughts?
Am I over thinking it?
Or have I been allowing a bad habit to form?

Thanks so much

Joleil



redrobin62
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04 Dec 2012, 7:17 pm

When I was younger I latched on to certain songs and played them over and over. These included "Feelin' Stronger Every Day' by Chicago, "What A Fool Believes" by the Doobie Brothers and "Age of Aquarius" by the 5th Dimension. I don't know why I did it, though, but it was sure comforting to me. Actually, the last time I had a song in continual rotation was this summer with 'Age Of Aquarius." Maybe it's something I'll never grow out of.



Plodder
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04 Dec 2012, 7:21 pm

Well it might not be healthy for you, because I can see how it would be extremely annoying, but if it's soothing to him then it is good to let him do it.

(I am not a parent. I just have autism).



MrEsMama
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04 Dec 2012, 7:28 pm

Thank you Plodder and redrobin62...
And let me say comments are welcome from ANYONE parents or not. :)



MMJMOM
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04 Dec 2012, 7:32 pm

my son would do this when younger. He would still do it, but there are ohter people in the car(when he listens to his music) and it gets annoying to his sister. SO, we give him an amount of times to hear the song, and then its her turn. if its not bothering anyone, I say let it be!

What about headphones so he can listen and not annoy ohters?


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CosmicRuss
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04 Dec 2012, 7:58 pm

I used to play songs over and over. I think I did that because the lyrics were unclear to me so I would try and try again to work out what was being sung.
It also took me a few years to discover song lyrics as all I seemed to concentrate on was the musical element of a song . Never the lyrics.


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Simmian7
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04 Dec 2012, 8:17 pm

what's wrong with listening to the same song over and over again?
i for one repeat a song numerous times... pretty much from the time i get home from work, till i go to bed, unless there is a tv program or movie i wanna watch.


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lady_katie
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04 Dec 2012, 8:22 pm

MrEsMama wrote:
Can you real me back in or give me thoughts?
Am I over thinking it?
Or have I been allowing a bad habit to form?


Hi there, I have AS and I'm a parent. I can only speak from my own experiences, but for me, I'm the most happy when I know that I'm doing the "ideal" thing. When I eat breakfast in the morning, I always eat the same thing because it only makes sense for me (in my mind) to eat the thing that I know I like the best. When I try to deviate from that, I always end up disappointed. Of course, after awhile, I get sick of that particular breakfast, so something else naturally becomes the new ideal. Right now, it's fried eggs with hot sauce. If I try to eat my old favorite, (apple cinnamon oatmeal), I would very likely just wish that I were eating eggs and feel disappointed in my choice (no matter how many months in a row I ate eggs for).

I think that this kind of thing just comes along with Aspergers, and trying to change it would probably do more harm than good. It's alright to over think these things though, you're a parent and that's your job :P I honestly think that you don't need to worry about it though. Your son is just feeling free to be himself, and that's a good and healthy thing.



Shellfish
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04 Dec 2012, 9:18 pm

My son is the same, we will tivo tv shows that we know he likes, and although there will be 10 or so episodes to watch he will chose to watch the same episode over and over and over again. Before the diagnosis (when we didn't know any better) I would have given him a limit as to how many times he would watch or listen to something but now I realise that he doesn't watch tv shows in the same way or for the same reasons as we do and I just let him do it. It makes him happy and it calms him although now that our daughter is two, and also wants to watch tv, he accepts that she also gets a turn with the tv which helps to break the rut (for all of us). He also used to listen to the same cds in the car and ask for the same songs over and over - that drove me nuts :wall: and has ruined a fair few of my old favourite songs - such is life...


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littlelily613
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05 Dec 2012, 12:20 am

As someone who grew up autistic, I know I am glad that my parents didn't try to make me into their version of normal. People with autism often like repetition and that doesn't change even if our NT families are annoyed by it. I used to watch the same movie over and over again all day long so often that I could say the entire 2 hour script with the movie on or off. That is what I liked to do, I think if my parents tried to stop me, it probably would have led to meltdowns. If the music isn't stopping him from completing his homework properly, I don't see why it should be an issue. If it is distracting him, though, that is different.


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League_Girl
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05 Dec 2012, 1:06 am

I don't see anything wrong with listening to the same song over and over. If he does it through head phones or in his own bedroom, what is the problem? Compromise.

In fact my mother would take away my obsessions by not letting me watch my favorite movies I was obsessed with. I did fine without them but instead they were in my head and I always talked about it with others, even with my brothers. Not with my mother because she didn't want to hear about it. Now today I refuse to discuss any of my obsessions with her. My mother stopped taking them away when I was in 6th grade when she finally understood but she will still get on my back about it sometimes. Apparently it's an impairment I have when I don't see any impairment.


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btbnnyr
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05 Dec 2012, 1:11 am

Let him be. It's healthy for him to listen to the same song over and over and over.



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05 Dec 2012, 4:58 am

I still listen to the same songs over and over again. Maybe not the same song for eight hours but enough. :) Usually I will listen to the same 3 songs for maybe 5 hours.

I don't see how it would hurt him, especially if he is doing it during school work. If anything, the predictability/repetition probably helps him focus. No reason to take it away for him for no reason. As another poster said, headphones will fix it if it annoys you to hear it.



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05 Dec 2012, 6:11 am

My daughter has music in her room, to help her sleep. But, just now she has to learn 'Do they know it's Christmas?' for her school show. So she has asked for this on a loop. Quite often, she switches it on, in the morning, too. I think she know the words now, but she's starting to sound like a rock star and I can't get it out of my head.


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05 Dec 2012, 7:41 am

Hi, mom of an 11 y/o son with NVLD and ADD and a 7 y/o daughter with mild autism here.

One of my son's favorite websites is yourepeat.com. Need I say more? LOL!

If it gets too much for me, I ask him to listen through headphones, but I do not discourage this behavior in any way. IMHO, who cares what he likes to listen to? And if it is the same song over and over again, who am I to judge? The only thing that would make me stop him if he was listening to something offensive or objectionable. But I wouldn't allow him to listen to anything like that even once.

I like to listen to some songs repeatedly because I like the way they make me feel. I have a 45 minute commute and it is not uncommon for me to listen to the same song the whole commute. Sometimes its the lyrics, sometimes its the music, but it is always because the song causes a particular feeling to surface and I want to feel that feeling for whatever reason. And there are certain songs--because of the intricacy of the lyrics or the musical arrangement--that I simply REALLY enjoy listening to because I like the complexity. So sometimes I will listen to songs like that repeatedly, too.


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MusicIsLife2Me
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05 Dec 2012, 9:10 am

MrEsMama wrote:
Hey Parents
I am new here...sorry for jumping right in with a new post...
I wish I had more time to sit and read and help out.

I have a 12 year old son with Aspergers.
We are very much well versed in all that is Aspie.
I have though begun to worry my head with one slight issue.

My son will listen to the same song over and over and over again for 6-8 hours a day.
We home school, and while he is working on his school work, this is what he does.
NON -STOP
I used to be of the thought that well, his brain is not the typical and brain and it must help *right* him in some way, so I leave it be.
Yet something in me wants to put a stop to this behavior. I don't think it is healthy (more so when I am stressed and tired).
Can you real me back in or give me thoughts?
Am I over thinking it?
Or have I been allowing a bad habit to form?

Thanks so much

Joleil


Hello
I am not sure if I have an ASD (going to talk with a psychologist about this possibility next month) but I do have a learning disability. I do not recall if it is a NVLD or not. But I know that NVLD and ASD are strikingly similar in some ways. I am not sure if I can be of much help but I'll try.

I have an obsession with music and I sometimes listen to the same song for hours or days. I find it comforting and it is also almost like a "mini routine" for me. I have tried to stop this behavior but noticed myself becoming a bit irritable and sad after trying to redirect the music. I find that particular odd habit of mine very relaxing to me. Music is my passion, but also my escape from things.


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