Anything negative about allowing stims/arranging/fav movie?

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I'm curious about this because it is not anything I think I've ever seen mentioned.

Is there anything inherently bad about allowing your child to stim/arrange objects/watch a favorite movie/video? Just for instance I bought a case of a favored flavor of soda and put it in the kitchen, my son was absolutely fascinated by moving and arranging the bottles. My wife feels like it distracts him from better things, and is just a waste of time. I'm unsure but willing to be convinced it is a waste of valuable time.

He will also just cry and flop around the floor for HOURS until we figure out what thing it was he wanted, usually a movie to be played. One he has watched thousands of times, he flat refuses to watch any new videos.

This is an odd bit but someone had one of those stupid Your Baby Can Read DVDs, we tried to show it to him at somewhere age 2 and wow he loved it right away. If we leave the room and secretly observe him he can repeat 40-50 words perfectly as they appear in the video. I mean this is amazing, but he won't use the words outside the context of the DVD.

He has recently stopped using the few communicative words he did before.

No, there is nothing wrong with allowing your child to stim, arrange objects, or engage in his special interest (i.e. the movie). In fact, I'm inclined to say that you'd be terrible parents if you did. Things like stimming and arranging things are coping mechanisms which your son uses to, well, cope in a world that, at times, can be incredibly stressful for him to live in.

As he gets older, he won't always cry for hours until he gets what he wants, and he won't always be interested in that particular video. Someday, he may become interested in something constructive and possibly useful to him in later life.

Good luck.

I say allow in moderation. Doing ANYTHING to exclusion of all other activities, ASD or not, isn't healthy. Maybe you can join him in his arranging, watch his movie with him, then try to engage him in an activity that you choose.

good luck!

How old is your LO?

There are people who believe as your wife does that it is self-reinforcing and a "waste of time." I am not of that particular camp. I agree the others you can use the special interests , no matter how narrow, to engage the child and expand interests, Also as previously stated some of this is a way to self-regulate.

I agree you could participate in lining things up with your child. You can see if your child will agree to take turns and be reciprocal. Your wife should agree that that is a worthy goal. Watch the DVD and maybe say the words (even if your child doesn't) and see if your child will join in. Anything that establishes a common bond is helpful, and again your wife might better understand that especially if she is NT.

Would you stop a child from playing with trucks or a ball or action figures? Lining up cans is how your son PLAYS. It is no more a waste of time than any other form of play.

Unless it causes harm, or it interferes with other actions and he's doing it nearly all the time, I'd say let him at it. Kids need time they can relax and do what they enjoy.

I wanted to post more, I just got home.

I just wanted to clarify I did not mean following him around and stopping him from stimming or arranging at all, neither did my wife. It is when he gets into a 4 hour run doing it that she feels we should try to divert him to something else. Again she just meant when he has been at it for hours and doesn't want to stop, it is my fault I wasn't clear in my OP.

I stand by my original advice. Let your child stim, but try to involve yourself and make it interactive. Diverting is Ok, sometimes, but trying too hard to divert might create some bad issues. Your child will not understand the purpose and feel like you are punishing him. I don't mean do not expose him to new things, but I would not try so hard as to upset him, especially if he is used to being allowed. You could even have him line up a new set of objects or get him to line up by size or shape or something. It would still be something new.