Medication dilemma

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My son age 14yrs nearly 15 was taking prozac and Strattera (ADHD & Anxiety) for sometime he had difficulty settling in to secondary school. He will be finishing 3rd year next week and sitting his state exams its been a tough journey so proud.

6 months ago he wanted to stop medication because he didn't like the way it made him feel we agreed and he has been off them. I was worried at the beginning but I found him to be less aggressive and more affectionate. I am not sure how he will do in his exams as the medication helped him with concentration and so forth.

A couple of days ago he said he wants to go back on the medication, I am not sure I prefer him off them. He says he is finding it hard to focus and concentrate in his sports school etc. His anxiety levels seem to be under control compared to when he first went to this school. He says so many different thoughts go through his mind when he is playing soccer, studying, and he can't control these.

I am not sure if his aggression and anger, anxieties were all connected to him starting secondary school. He can display these but he is a teenager and not as often whilst off medication I am not sure what to do. Should I let him make the decision as I did allow him to stop taking them.

I do find him more lovable the medication does something that I can't explain.

What if he only took one of the medications and not the other one? And if it doesn't seem to be working, maybe wean him off it and try the other one?

Also, I would recommend you talk to him about the changes you've seen in him. Don't say you find him more lovable as that might hurt his feelings, but talk about how his behavior has changed in a good way. Maybe he's unaware of the change himself.

Maybe I chose wrong word meant that he is able to express himself more affectionately and tell me how he feels and gives me hugs and kisses. I don't want this to change again.

I am not a gung ho meds person, but if your son is telling you he is struggling with focus, I would take that seriously. He is old enough to have input, and given that he has been on meds before, I think he has a right to ask to go back to being on meds.

I think it is going to be hard for you to say that although you were OK with him being on meds before, you aren't now, despite his struggles with focus, b/c he is more snuggly without them. YKWIM? It doesn't mean that it should not be discussed, but as much as I would miss the snuggles, too, I think if he preferred the focus effect of the meds, you have to let him try something for it.

Plus, you don't want him to be afraid that if he makes a decision (like going off meds) that he can't change his mind. It will make him resistant to trying things/stopping things and possibly affect his communication with you. This probably sounds harsh, but I do not mean it to be. I could totally see myself thinking the same thing and it would be hard for me, also. I love my son's snuggles, too.

Assuming you have a good doctor, if you tell him both of your observations about the meds (careful not to be too critical about the affection issue, as the other poster said) maybe the doctor could advise as how to proceed. As the other poster said, maybe just being on one drug (The Strattera, maybe, which given it is for ADHD, I am assuming helps with focus) or maybe something else entirely.


Edited to add: Disclosure: My son is not on meds and I am doing everything I can to keep him off of them, so keep that in mind when you weigh what I say.

Edited, again to add: I am not against other people using meds for their children. I am trying very hard to say what I am trying to say, without saying something I do not mean to, by mistake. None of this is coming out well, I hope people understand what I am trying to say. My brain is addled.

I concur with what ASDMommyASDKid said. I think your son should be congratulated on knowing his own body and needs.

I do think, though, that part of the discussion should be looking at different ways of managing the meds (with a doctor's help of course) for instance, not only considering each medication separately but also looking at starting from the lowest recommended dose. It is always possible that he will have the positive outcomes without the negative ones.

We discuss all the time how my son is coping and feeling, positive and negatives on and off medication, will go to psychiatrist to discuss. My concern is the negative changes that the meds have on him at the moment he is less aggressive. His aggression was a huge concern for us whilst he was taking medication, I worried about concentration etc we had a lot of trail and error finding ADHD meds to suit him and we settled with Strattera. Now that he is off it I wouldn't want him to start using it again so I don't know the only ADHD meds we didn't try was Ritalin maybe there is other meds that I am not familiar with.

My husband is also in agreement feels he is better without medication. If my son insist we will let him but just worried we/he went through a lot self harming, suicidal ideations etc this has all stopped since he ceased meds. Maybe we will wait see how he gets on with state exams its too late now to put him on meds as it wont help with the exams as they are in 2 weeks. He will then be on the summer break we have 3 months before returning to school.

OK, suicidal ideation, self harm, and serious aggression is a totally different thing.

My reading comprehension skills may be off. The emphasis on the snuggly aspect threw me and I think I must have underestimated the aggression aspect, as a result.

I have a really stupid question, though. I would think, that your son would prefer being unfocused to being suicidal. That does not mean that if you tell a doctor about those symptoms that he could not come up with a better drug/drug combo/or dosage, to avoid that, but I understand you not wanting to risk that, and I am not sure why he would want to.

I get that the aggression may not be something that he would understand or maybe he would underestimate, but the suicidal part I would think he would weight properly, especially at his age.

Its a difficult one, prior to him starting meds we had self harming threats & wanting to die and always feeling sad when he was very young. I now know this was the stress of school and plus he was unable to communicate why he wanted to die. Teachers never ever saw any difficulties with him he was really suffering in silence and at home was where he let it all out or the minute he got into my car when I picked him up from school. when he started secondary school and hit teens it was a nightmare for him and it was hard to see that the meds were benefiting him and also the doctor suggested prozac for anxieties. He seems to have only settle in school this year which is his 3rd year so I don't know if his improvement is to do with him settling at school or off medications or both.

Now he wants to go back on meds because of the concentration problems and comments from teachers.

Could you talk to his teachers and mention the consequences of medication? IMO, it is totally inappropriate for them to suggest he should go back on medication (I am not sure if your son or the teachers brought it up, but from what you wrote, the teachers seem to be driving this request somehow)

Based on what you are saying, it sounds like the school did not notice any problems b/c he was only showing that suicidal/self-harming/aggressive behavior at home and the only thing they notice is the concentrations issues and they are making comments about his concentration (and possibly advising him to return to being on meds.)

I am going to agree with Momsparky. They don't need to be making comments to him, like that. Concentration is a relatively minor issue, in comparison to the other heavier stuff. Now that he has settled out aggression.and suicidal-wise I would not be so quick to risk having those types of side effects pop up again, given that you can not trace why they disappeared.

I would definitely talk to your son, and try (without leading the conversation in a particular direction) to see if you can suss out if the concerns on concentration are self-driven or other-directed. I would also talk to him about the possible consequences of the meds, and tell him that you are worried for him and want him to stay safe: Not as a guilt thing, but to let him understand your perspective.

I'm just coming to your thread late, but I have many of the same concerns that you have for your son, but with my 17 year old.

I can say, from experience, that if your son is having any kind of depression or suicidal ideation on his meds, then your doctor needs to keep trying different anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medications until one of them works with your son. Some kids react strongly to their ADD medications with depression (although I would be surprised with Strattera, since it's not a stimulant). Also, and you probably already know this, but sometimes when kids begin on an anti-depressant, their depression gets worse before it gets better. It's a nerve-wracking time, for the kid, but also for the parent to have to watch this. I feel for you.

On the other hand, the fact that your son is so in tune with his needs is BIG. You are very lucky.

We had to try three anti-depressants before one of them truly worked for my son. When the one anti-depressant worked, it was like a light-switch turned on, and he was back to being my happy son, the same personality (almost) as he is off of meds. I really believe that when an anti-depressant works, you as a parent will know.