Would a "humor" curriculum have helped you?

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I've been throwing around a theory for years.

The research that I've read in the past has kind of put out the concept that people with Asperger's have trouble with humor. I disagree, especially after reading posts on wrongplanet.net. I think that people with Asperger's are more interesting and funnier, with a much smarter, sharper sense of humor than NT's. That's a generalized statement, so it's not always true, but it's often true.

I just wondered if life for adolescents with Asperger's could be made a little bit easier if they knew how to show their sense of humor off at school. My oldest son has been quite the character, and he's REALLY funny. Trouble is, he's hilarious at home, but throughout high school he was actually quite shy and reserved until his last year. Then in college, he finally let all the humor out, and he had a wonderful time making friends there. Everyone appreciated his sense of humor.

So, after observing this experience, I've wondered if making up a curriculum, using TV shows and televised stand-up comedy routines would be useful to adolescents, to learn the in's and out's of delivering a joke, a punchline, and kind of captivating an audience. Even the most quiet people can be really appreciated when they make a joke under their breath during class. I think it can make the difference between NT's not understanding someone with asperger's, and NT's really appreciating someone with Asperger's.

Kris

My sense of humor always made the teachers laugh, and maybe one other student. Kids, even in high school, didn't get my jokes. The way I made other kids find me funny was working on stage. Thats a big irony for me: I can stand in front of thousands of people and tell jokes, but if any of them try to talk to me in person, I get all nervous and want them to go away! My sense of humor definitely defined who I am as a person, especially when growing up.

I don't know if a "curriculum" would have helped me or not. I probably wouldn't have listened to the advice given to me, so probably not. I never liked it (still don't) when people try and change my personality. I would most likely have resented the idea of being told how to act, even if it would have made me fit in better.

EDIT: I could also never shut up during class, I always let stupid comments and jokes shoot out. That is something I could never stop (still can't) but never got any good advice on how to control it.

A curriculum would be a rather formal way of teaching Aspies the ins and outs of humor, and while it would be helpful, the Aspie would definitely still need to practice the humor in order to become really good at it. Teaching humor in a traditional classroom-style could make the Aspie learn what the various parts are, but would not have a real understanding of why the parts are what they are, and why they go together in the way they do, without trying it out in practical situations. This would apply not only to humor, but also to the learning and acquisition and understanding of human behavior in general.

My Aspie friend always used to ask me about humor; he didn't know or understand whether a comment was meant as a joke, or seriously, or sarcastic. He had asked me to explain it, and I realized that I couldn't do so in a straightforward manner. It was considerably more complicated than I thought. Other times I noticed that he would say something that seemed like a joke, but the timing and context of the joke delivery were so off, that it seemed really awkward. He was still struggling to figure out what would be the "appropriate" time to say certain things, and just kind of guessed that that time would be a good time to say that particular joke. So although he knew that the joke was something that could be said, as though somebody had told him that it was something to say, he didn't understand completely some of the more complicated, unspoken rules. There's no substitute for hands-on experience.

I find humor ponitless and a waste of time.

I completely agree. I think a lot of the "experts" out there don't really understand the syndrome as well as they think they do. People with asperger's seem to be very funny. After all, Dan Ackroyd has it. The medical community should try to explain this.

I have to say that our son (13 year old) does have a sense of humor but it's not "appropriate". He tries to be funny but it often comes out awkward and not funny. Timing is wrong or the "joke" actually insults someone.

When others are telling jokes he almost always doesn't "get it" and it has to be explained, which as mentioned earlier in this thread is rather difficult to do.

He would love to be able to joke appropriately and a humor curriculum could be both helpful AND FUN! Heaven knows he needs more fun in his life...

Diane

That used to be my biggest issue as a kid/teen. I still make the mistake too. For example, my friend said the other night "At least I am not one of those stupid fat drunks" and I responded with "Don't be silly, you don't drink." I meant it as a joke (and it was funny) but insulting that I insinuated that she was fat and stupid as well. "Inappropriate" is the best way I could describe my sense of humor as teen/kid.

The best teacher of humour has been my father's fairly odd sense of humour and puns. Through constant exposure when young, I have learned to see certain plays on various words or phrases that most other people do not see (ie, when our chemistry teacher said the "pH is basically neutral"). However, I rarely laugh.

Yes, a humour curriculum would definitely have helped. Dad taught me some humour with his puns and word plays. I also have a sick sense of humour and like doing puns. These will come out randomly at the most unexpected times. I have an Aspie friend who tells even worse (and funnier) puns than me.

Humor has been very helpful for my 17 year old daughter who was just diagnosed with AS in December..as some of you said, punning was always in my family. I got it from my brother and my daughter got it from me. She's really good with play on words..sometimes I even miss them now.
She's funniest at home and with people she knows really well. I would love to see her take this charming and witty side into more social situations.

She really liked Woody Allen's movie Scoop as I did and it makes sense...typical Woody Allen quick witted fast paced lines, sorta off the wall. Last night she pleaded... Mom, no more feel good sports movies..just toooo boring!!"

Whatever you do, avoid pushing your daughter into social situations before she is ready. Slowly is the best way to go, even if you would prefer it to be faster.

I'm now wondering if other parents witness this about their AS children. All of my children are hilarious at home -- very funny, loud, really great sense of humor. BUT, they are very quiet outside of our home. Only when they become almost a junior in high school do they begin to let out their sense of humor in public. The oldest finally opened up in college, and has had a great time. People really enjoy his sense of humor.

Do most AS people only feel comfortable being funny at home?

If so, that's unfortunate, because their odd and witty sense of humor could really help through some of the rough times in high school.

Kris

I found it much easier to show my sense of humour at home because my folks wouldn't stare at me as if I'd said something in a totally foreign language, which is something I've come across when I've tried to say something witty elsewhere.

Your experience must be much like others on this forum, which just drives me crazy. Have you read the posts about George Bush on this site? They are so funny -- I laughed until I cried when I was reading them.

Isn't the ability to think outside of the box the hallmark of a creative mind, especially a humorous mind? Think Andy Kaufmamm of Taxi fame -- who was rumoured to have AS --

Kris

I have a quite well developed sense of humour but not always in an appropriate way. Sometimes my jokes go too far, and I don't recognise it until it's "too late". Also I can find things funny that most people would think were serious. It's rare that I'll laugh out loud outside of my comfort zones. Occasionally I'll have trouble with some jokes because I don't recognise them as jokes and might take them seriously at first, but on the whole that's the only "trouble" I have with humour.