One On One Aide

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How common is it for a child with HFA/Asperger's to require a full-time aide in school? We just had a talk with the principal, and she said that based on the difficulties DS is having, he may need this. We were pretty shocked to hear that, and we aren't sure he needs THAT much help. We just wanted the teacher to be extra careful to explain directions clearly (to the class), write down multi-step tasks on the board, and be more communicative with us about behavior issues and homework assignments.

Where we live a child diagnosed with autism/aspergers or even ADHD can have a full time 1-1 aide for up to 3 years. But only until they are finished Kindergarten or turn 6 years old. After that a child would have to be pretty severe to still get a 1-1 aide and I've heard of crazy severe cases where the child didn't get an aide. There is a general aide for a certain number of students who need extra help with certain tasks but not a full time aide.

I don't have any statistics, my very rough guess is about 1/4, and should note that an aide was never offered for or used by my son, but rule of thumb for services: never turn anything down. Except for ones that are likely to needlessly increase your child's dependency.

Aids often help out more than one child in the classroom and can be used for little things like fetching headphones when the room is too noisy, to helping with scribing if the child has physical writing issues. I believe they also act as a good barrier against bullies and social problems. Depending, of course, on how good the aid is. Remembering that for someone with ASD, the NT thought process can be correlated to a foreign language, ideally the aid becomes the translator, interpreting for your son and teaching him the language at the same time. Kids can and do "graduate" from needing this service, so it isn't indicative of a more severe life long issue.

In our previous school district, a 1:1 aide had a lot more training than the "shared aide" they tried to use on everyone -- the latter needed just a high school diploma and a CPR certificate. My son definitely needed one, due to the level and frequency of his outbursts and extreme behavior (he didn't get one until it was too late because the school and the district office were arguing over the money for staffing).

What kinds of issues is your DS having? Is he melting down at school? I would ask what kind of training they give the aides before putting them in the classroom.

I just got this as well. They want a 1:1 aide for my son because of some meltdowns in the hall. He was upset about a math quiz and started banging his head on the wall. Spooked everyone, I think.

There is an aide who was supposed to help several students in the class and they realized he was focused pretty exclusively on my son, so they are bringing in this new person. When the aide raised the issue with me, he seemed to think I might get upset about it. It seems to me that if there is more help focused on him, then that's good. As long is it is actually focused on him and for his benefit, I think it's great.

But maybe I am missing something.

They're using them more and more, I think in part because of mainstreaming and in part because of increasing class sizes.

Teachers never seemed to have a problem taking time to answer my questions, or realizing that I wasn't trying to be mean if I was tactless (not that they liked me, they just seemed to "get" that some kids have a harder time with this stuff).

Nowadays they don't have the luxury of doing that. They have more to do, more to deal with, bigger potential emergencies, and whole lists of parents to call every single day.

Even if your kid's issues are mild, apparently, they'd rather send in an aide to deal with it.

The good news?? Needing an aide seems to be the signal that says "Special Needs Kid-- Display Extra Compassion, It Is Socially Unacceptable to Upset Them." That seems to be the line where kids get a little extra protection on one side, and don't on the other.

Hubby was not happy when my therapist suggested I apply for an aide for DS last year...

...and I wasn't happy when all he qualified for was 30 minutes a week, and the kindergarten teacher vetoed that as overkill. Of course, given that the folks who did the assessment were an agency that specifically existed to place aides, and that they refused to accept any form of payment other than Medicaid, I think there's a pretty good chance that they were crooks...

It might result from the fact that the teacher's overwhelmed with everything else s/he has to deal with. It might be a perfectionistic school district (I know that's the case here-- they are very proud of their PSSA scores and their "85% College Readiness" whatever that is. Struggling isn't OK here-- it's practically perfect with flying colors, or it's a problem.

I appreciate the involvement and the extra support (up to a point anyway-- I'm really not so sure it's good to know about every little mistake and rough patch your kid has every single day). I can relate, though, on wondering if it's overkill.

Either way, "aide" does not necessarily mean "Your kid is really messed up." Think of it more as meaning, "We are too stressed out to cope with anything other than perfect typicality."

Now, some other parents here have horror stories of ignorant aides and asinine schools with exactly that attitude, so keep your eyes open.

He likes the new aide. Met her yesterday.

So far, so good.

You are lucky that the school both recognizes the need and is willing to provide the aid. Our school STAFF recognize the need. The district will not pay. The staff are actively risking their jobs right now trying to subvert the district and find another way to get her an aid.

Would have given my right arm for 1:1 when DS was in K. Only after I hired an advocate did he get any 1:1 time when he was in first grade. We were very lucky to get an aide who really understood spectrum kids and she helped him a lot. This year in 2nd grade he has the aide with him half time or less. It's not enough. I agree with DW, better to take any services offered and plan to fade support. Just my 2cents!