To Parents of special needs kids Do you take vacations? How?

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To All Parents of Disabled, SPED, Auties. Aspies, and all the other politically correct terms we use to describe the children we love so much!
Hi, as an Aspie Single Parent of an Autie child, I was wondering how other parents do it.

With "Necessity being the Mother of Invention" I've decided to start a non-profit organization to team up parents and children, with trained educators, and Secondary Caregivers that they are already familiar with, to go on vacations together, and "Tag-Team" baby-sit, so that everyone can have a GREAT vacation.
The extra costs would be absorbed by the Non-Profit.
If this service was currently available, would you, as a parent, be willing to travel overseas WITH your child and a Caregiver?
And also, Thank you for your feedback.

I just came back from a fabulous European Vacation, 16 days for $2600.00. Unfortunately, I was unable to take my child, due to the fact that I couldn't afford to take her, and also a caregiver that she's really comfortable with.
I know it sounds somewhat "selfish", but when people asked if I was taking her with me, I'd reply that I NEED a real vacation, and if she was with me all day, every day it wouldn't be a "Real Vacation" for me, as I would end up spending a lot of my time in the room, or at the Zoo EVERY day, with her. So, NO, I didn't take her.
However, I missed her terribly the whole time.
I've only been on 4 vacations (one only 4 days) in 12 years. I'm not wealthy, and it took me years to save up the $4000.00 I spent on this last trip. I applied for a grant to pay her sitter here in the USA while I was gone was the only way I could afford it.
However I feel we, as primary Caregivers, should go on vacation when we can, to recharge our batteries, and for me it gave me "something to look forward to" for 10 months.
But I can't bear to be away from her like that again, and she actually missed me and cried for me daily, while I was gone. It was heart-wrenching to hear, to say the very least.

I have noo idea WHAT I'd do...

...but I don't blame you for taking a vacay sans kid. Plenty of typical parents take grown-up trips sans typical kids-- why would spectrum parents be any different??

I think it's a WONDERFUL idea. Can't tell you if I'd use it or not, but I bet lots of people would.

I did not answer the poll b/c I am married, but married or otherwise paired off parents could use this too, if you were thinking of adding a later iteration. Married people need time to themselves, too. I do not know how single parents do it. I am married with only one HFA kid, and sometimes even a 2:1 adult ratio seems barely adequate.

I do not mean that as a knock. We love our son dearly, but he is so full of autistic energy.

I agree whole-heartedly with you ASDMommyASDKid !
My end goal is to be able to pair up the "Nuclear Families" also, I'm already doing the figures to find out how much it would cost for a "couple" to have a "week-end get-away" in Paris, 2 days and an overnight in a nice hotel, while their children stay in the "Host City" , so they have the opportunity to re-connect on a more personal level

The Hotel 3-5 star, and transportation would be anywhere from $400.00-$600.00, and I'd like for them to enjoy a few nice meals, and not have to worry about the costs. Just sorta "pamper them" a little bit, and let them know they are appreciated !

I already have our first "Host City" picked out I think. Compact, (great for walking), Stunningly Beautiful, English-speaking, TONS of activities and sight-seeing opportunities for all ages and interests...blah, blah, blah.

I think I'll go amend my post heading and get the "people with partners" opinion.
I'm trying to determine if there's a "need" for this before I write my "Mission Statement"

Funny thing is that my ASD son was and has always been one of those ASD individuals that travels VERY well. He out performs our NT daughter on it by miles.

A whole lot of traveling with children, any children, is knowing your child. He could travel well with US because we knew what to do. Somehow we adapted really quickly to what he was going to need on a trip, and then it all went pretty well. Could he have a meltdown traveling? Sure, being on the road didn't stop him from being who he was. But it didn't make it worse, either.

Interesting idea, though, trying to figure out if there is a way to make it easier for other families. Are you thinking of families with children that will be impaired long term? Because, honestly, while we mostly stopped traveling for a while because my NT daughter was so bad at it, it wasn't a life long sentence; it was just a period we had to wade through. Children constantly grow and change and little lasts forever, so I tried not to freak out over what I was not getting to do "today." I think that will be true for most ASD children: the things that make them poor travelers will evolve and change until they actually are able to travel pretty well.

It may have taken a decade, but I've now got two kids we can take anywhere.

Edit:

I seemed to have missed the whole single parent thing. I am married and we travel as a family. It helps that one of us is energetic, raring to go when we hit a new city, and one of us truly doesn't mind taking it slow. That means whatever speed a child is in on a travel day, there is a parent happy to adapt. Took us a while to realize that hey, it is OK if we are all split up, but that's basically been an important part of the answer. Any time you try to do anything one-size-fits-all traveling, its gets messy.

We've been traveling across country annually the kid's whole lives, once to Europe as a family (we stayed in an apartment and day tripped from there), and a smattering of Disney, Legoland, Hawaii, camping, snow skiing and so on thrown in there, too. Cost is always an issue, especially since making sure the kids needs are met often means selecting nicer places and/or more rooms, and being a little picky about your airline, but I shop it out and make it work.

Its fine to do that, whether your kid is special needs or not! Honestly, kids do not enjoy the same kind of vacation an adult might. For one kid they might like disney. Another might like a museum. Me? I like to lay on a beach in the sun and become steadily more inebriated throughout the day. A kid wouldn't appreciate that! If we could take a long vacation with out the kids we would in a heart beat, but we can't we have no one to watch them! We take mini vacations with the kids, just a weekend here or there. I'm not sure how dd6 would handle a full week of anything. So maybe when they are a little older, maybe when they are 5 and 8 we might attempt a full scale family holiday. Depending on where we go and what we do, we will be ok with just the four of us. If we cater it to our ASD daughters interests, it will be fine. Restful for us? No. But that is true of any family vacation ever. So, we can at least try to make it interesting and fun.

We take small vacations - only 2 or 3 nights away from home. We bring along lots of migraine tablets for us. We suspend our normal behavior expectations and basically let DS do whatever he wants as long as it's not illegal or dangerous. The great thing about being on vacation is that we'll never see any of those people again, so who cares if they stare or give us other weird looks? Who cares if our kid says weird things in a loud voice and spins through the hotel lobby? Tough luck for them, we're on holiday.

I think you cannot do an regular rule to that. So there can be all kind of problems that need to be cared for their own. For example the problem with vacations and me, was that I couldnt stand our kind of vacations we did. They were too much stress and too weird for me. While on the opposite, because of me being a loner, I felt totally fine with staying at home alone since I was 10-11. Any person assisting me during that time, would only have disturbed me. An somehow related "aunt" came 1-2 times a day, checking if everything was fine, and that was ok.

While if the separation of parents is more causing problems then the separation of routines, an additional helping person, doing the vacation with you and your kid, might be the right solution.

Just as for another kid, staying at home with an helper might be the right solution.

In general I agree, that there is nothing bad about people doing some vacation and rest from their kids from now and then, specially if they feel getting into an burn out.

We tend to use holiday cottages in rural or beach locations (not taken him abroad). It is like being at home as we get groceries delivered and have home cooked meals with lots of wine, but with lots of open space to run around in, quiet and very few people (we live in a city). It's always been really relaxing for all of us as and we try to get away as often as possible. An internet connection is essential

We take vacations, but everything is planned around our capabilities. My oldest ASD child travels extremely well. The middles ADHD child travels well, but gets overstimulated and obnoxious without a lot of physical activity. Long periods of time in the car with him awake is pretty miserable for everyone. The youngest ASD child gets overstimulated easily and into serious meltdowns (this plays off the ADHD child's need to poke at everyone when he hasn't had enough appropriate activity). My husband and I neither travel well. We both get overstimulated easily by being out of our routine and driving really exhausts us.

When we go somewhere, we try to get a small house or suite with separate bedrooms, a small kitchen, and a living room. Laundry facilities are a nice bonus as is a pool. We have to plan for plenty of downtime.

Our most successful vacation was this: We went to Hannibal, Missouri (where Mark Twain grew up), rented a small house that was owned by a bed and breakfast that was within walking distance of almost everything in the tourist area. It was before the tourist season was in full swing so there were very few other people around. We walked to the bed and breakfast, ate there, and then walked to a museum or attraction (all the walking did the ADHD kid good), then we'd walk back to the house, cook lunch, and hang out for an hour or two. Then we'd go see an attraction that required us to drive to it in the afternoon and back to the house for supper and watching tv all evening. On the drive there (about a 12 hour drive for us with having to stop for potty breaks every hour and a half or so), we stopped a few hours before Hannibal, in Florida, Missouri (where Mark Twain was born, there is a nice little museum there). On the drive back we stopped at a drive through safari zoo. Then we got back home, we had two days planned where we didn't have to do anything else to recover.

Those are all the key points for us. We have to have physical activity, a break from the car after a few hours, time to recover when we get back home, and a lot fewer activities than the average family might do. One or two activities a day is absolutely all we can handle during a multi-day trip. Also, the length of trip is important. We can go to a relatively calm theme park that we are very familiar with all day during a day trip, but we couldn't do that during a multi-day trip even at the place we are familiar with. Another point is that the youngest traveled better when he still fit in the stroller. The stroller was like his own little bubble that blocked out a lot of the world.

We love travelling as a family. There are times when I enjoy myself less, or when my daughter on the spectrum enjoys it less, or when my husband gets tired or when any one of the others feels a bit overwhelmed. We try to make sure everyone gets to do something s/he really cares about, but obviously travel involves a lot of compromise. We don't go to the quietest, fanciest restaurants or stay with people who don't have kids, and we try to ensure my daughter's needs are met. In the past I have travelled alone on business, and while it is easier I do not find it as rewarding or energizing.
J.