SLEEP probs-Out of options- iPad/TV in his bedroom at night?

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I posted on here a while ago about our ongoing issues with DS (3.5 yo) and sleep.
His therapist recommended that we simply close the door after bedtime routine and say goodnight see you in the morning, essentially locking him in letting him cry it out (scream and thrash it out!). Well, we did a version of this- albeit less harsh, IMO. We do lock him in to go to sleep otherwise he will come out a thousand times and never fall asleep. He has music, books, (bubble wrap he loves to pop as he drifts off to sleep), nightlight, stuffed toys...everything. And he does successfully and sometimes happily go to sleep by himself now (sometimes he screams and throws stuff for 5-10 mins before settling into his bed ). However, he is still waking multiple times a night coming out of his room (we unlock the door after he falls asleep- we feel it's important for him to know he can come find us if he really needs us) and screaming. Because we also have a baby who I'm breastfeeding a couple times a night, it's my husband who goes to his room to lay with him until he goes to sleep. But he has always been terrible to sleep with- he won't let you use a blanket, he will kick and hit, fidget etc. It's basically impossible to sleep with him, but he won't let you leave.

Anyway, the situation with my husband going in and sleeping with him for half the night needs to end. My husband isn't sleeping, it's affecting his work and his personal safety (he's had a few near car accidents). The one night my husband gave my son his iPad instead of laying with him, he just watched a favourite episode of sesame street on repeat and fell asleep. And when he woke up again he watched it on repeat again until he fell back to sleep. No screaming, no waking everyone in the house up, no having to have my husband come sleep with him.

The research says TV/video games in the bedroom is "bad". But I have heard of it being helpful for autistic kids.
Anyone have experience with this?

I'm afraid to get him so hooked on TV and the iPad so young... but at the same time I feel like we need to think outside of the box when it comes to addressing his sleep issues. And we need solutions really soon for the sake of everyone in our family.

No melatonin doesn't work for him.
No there are no sensory issues that we've identified related to going to sleep.
Yes he gets plenty of exercise.
Yes we have addressed possible dietary issues.
Yes we have a successful bedtime routine.

In general I would agree that TV/console in a kids room is bad, because of a child not being old enough to care for the necessary responsibility to use it properly. An television in a kids room, simply lets you loose much control about it, what your kid is watching and how long it is doing so.

However, giving him an device, that lets him watch something, that you control and have agreed to, were ok for me. He cant use that without any control, but he simply can use it the way you want it, to see that episodes of sesame streets, that help him sleep.

I I dont know why, but for me reading before sleeping is very important, it simply focuses my thoughts on the book, and helps me get loose of all kind of influences that troubled me during day. But for an 3,5 year old kid, reading himself, wont be much of an option. Maybe you can as well get him into audio-books, there are very nice one for kids. If he likes them, they can as well help him to focus his thoughts on them, while they have less sensory output.

Sure it would be cool, if your kid could sleep without that kind of stuff, but your husband getting safe to work, is as well cool. ^^

I think i is ok as long as he isn't just staying up watching it all night.

I have two kids a 6 year old (dx asd) and a 3.5 year old (dunno, not asd but hyper as all get out). Both girls. At various times I have allowed them to bring a device to bed as both have sleep issues from time to time. Honestly, in both cases they eventually fall asleep. And yes if they wake up and can't get back to sleep they pick it back up for a couple of minutes.

I look at it like this, I have trouble sleeping myself and I'm all old and supposedly know what I'm doing, right? And I still have issues. Well these are kids, NT, ASD, might not matter. They have zero experience and probably don't have the knowledge or ability to clear their heads of exciting or anxious thoughts when they go to sleep, making sleep difficult. Put a book or ipad in their hands and now you have eliminated the anxious or exciting thoughts from their brains (as long as they aren't playing a really fun game, I limit the devices to audio books or books style apps or tetris style games at night- somewhat entertaining, but nothing to get worked up about) so now it is easier to fall asleep. I find my 3.5 year old, if she is REALLY tired, lasts all of five minutes before I need to go in and peel the kindle off her little face and wipe off all the drool.

Anyway one thing to consider is that he may be over tired. When my 3.5 year old gets over tired she just becomes 100% evil at bedtime. In those cases even the tablet won't help. Then I take my older daughter out and put her in the gust room and lock the 3.5 year old in. I don't like it when that happens and I now take great care to make sure she is in bed no later than 8pm most nights.