my mother can be annoying sometimes

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my mother tells me what to do all the time but she is annoying i am 32 years old i have a bad temper sometimes i cuss i scream i yell but some people do that and parents let them but not my mother she tells me i have to quit cussing no screaming no yelling or i will be sorry when she means by being sorry she takes my stuff away like my internet or my mp3 player or dvd player and leaves me nothing to do i am so freaking tired of being treated like a baby i am almost 33 years old and she wonders why i fuss and cuss and throw fits because if i get treated like a baby i am going to do those things like babies do she sometimes thinks its funny and that is mean the reasons why she does it because my stepdad started the whole thing ever since i was little like he would say jackie acts up jackie gets her stuff taken away and it has been like that for years now i tell her she lets my sister my sisters boyfriend my two aunts my uncle my cousins and my nieces cuss but not me and she never tells them to stop i can not stand that on bit and she tells me i can not control them i said no but you seem to control me what can i do to make her see she has no control over me

there is no reason in the world for a 32 year old to cuss and scream, short of a broken bone. that said, your mom taking your stuff seems disrespectful.

fun. sounds like your suffering from living at moms house. are there triggers that make you that way. my mom used to get me worked up, than she would point the finger like it was something I did. like it was just me. I learned how to make it not me. she doesn't try to get me worked up anymore. it doesn't work anymore because I know what she is doing. in fact now she has to walk away, or hand the phone off to my dad because she will flip out, and I will not be affected anymore. she cannot handle that. she is no longer in control. because of that it makes her out of control. your attitude, and your mom, and fake fathers behavior is probably just some elaborate game that is fun for them, and you haven't figured out what it is. every time you get worked up, every time you get mad because things don't make any sence, is a score for them. when you see past the games, and have no effect on you, things will be different. they may just boot you right out on the street. this may be a little harsh for you, but really. if you are all grown up, you should be able to handle life on your own. you should not have any want, or need to be living with the parents. sounds to me like your not ready for that. they just might treat you like that until you are ready to live on your own. everything changes when you can give them the middle finger, and mean it.

There are a few different issues here. The first one is that most parents ascribe to some version of "my house--my rules." So if you live at home,and your parents support you (even if you have disability covering some of your expenses) you are stuck with their rules, no matter whether they make sense to you are not. Whether you disagree with the fairness of their rules or not, may not matter to them.

Many people are offended by cursing even when not directed at a particular person. If your sister not under her care, then your mother has no leverage with her. She may have told her she does not like the cursing, and she does it anyway. If she and her boyfrind live on their own she cannot do much other than nag them, and she may have given up on that if it has not been working. It is generally not polite to intentionally curse in front of people who are offended by it, but it does not mean that people abide by that and stop. You live at home, so she can punish you. Once kids are adults, the treating them equally thing no longer applies. She can only control you, so that is what she does. She does not look at that as unfair. I don't find swearing to be offensive, but I contain some of it around people that I know do not like it, depending on circumstance. No one can punish me for it, but there are times that I must or choose to follow social conventions on this matter. It is considered bad mannered to curse in many situations.

My son is 8, and yells and shrieks and carries on when upset. We are trying to train him out of this. It is not to be mean. This is what parents do. It is part of our job. Aside from the fact that your mom and stepdad do not like the yelling, being able to control ones temper is an important skill. People out in the real world, do not like it either. An employer would not tolerate yelling and cursing or temper tantrums on the job, unless you had a very unusual type of job. People you associate with socially would not like it either. Family also does not like it. In addition, when you have temper tantrums like that you give bullies and other people too much power over you. If you can pretend you are not upset, even if you are, you take away this power. As an adult, you can get into legal problems for having tantrums out in public. This is not good.

You are right, that taking away things from you to punish you is treating you as a child. Unfortunately, because you live at home, they still view you as a child. The more you decide that you will act as a child when they do this, just reinforces what they already think, and makes them think they are right to treat you this way. The best way to get people to treat you like an adult is to act like one. Some parents will treat you like an adult, even when you live at home, especially if you financially contribute. Some you have to completely move away from.

I do not know what your capabilities are or what services there are around you, to help you, but I would try very hard to work on the temper thing, b/c this is a skill you will need, regardless of where you live; whether at home with your parents, with a room-mate or group living situation, or even by yourself with a job.

thanks everyone for the advices but there is no reason to treat a person with disabilties wrong i mean i have a cousin who has a disability and his mother does not make him do chores around the house like doing the laundry doing the dishes ect and he is 29 years old i am 32 years old and i have to do those things i have a sister who lives with me and she is 42 years old and she never has to do those things the reason why my mother tells me stuff is because my stepdad won't stand for me do disrespect her he is a fine one to talk he cheated on my mother with a girl younger than me but everything was just fine before he came along in my mom's life she never had to take away my stuff but as soon as she married him things changed he started on me no one should rant and rave about stuff but sometimes i feel betrayed and left out

It is not wrong to expect some help around the house. I am not big on requiring chores. In fact, I do not require any b/c we are still working on self-help skills. But I will ask my son to do little things for me (he is like to please get me a bottle of water, sometimes,when he is getting one for himself, to teach him reciprocity.

If your mom is doing things for you (paying for your food and clothes and stuff, counts) she has a right to ask for certain things. She does not have a right to treat you like a slave, but she has a right to ask you to help with somethings so she does not have to do everything herself. She also might think it is important that you know how to do these things in case you ever move out on your own. (Depending on what you are capable of doing of course, and she should be polite and respectful when asking you.) How your aunt and uncle treat your cousin are not relevant b/c you mom has no input into that.

Now if your sister also lives at home, she should also treat you both fairly. You are saying that she treats you unfairly b/c your stepdad has it in for you, and she listens to him? If so, then that is wrong. Is there any other factor involved? Do you both live there for free? Do you get any benefits from your mom she does not? I am not asking to be critical, but to find out what possible reason your mom could say to you about why she treats you both differently. I am assuming she is not saying that she treats you differently b/c your stepdad told her to, even if that is the real reason. Does she have any reason that she tells you. or does she not answer you when you ask?

I do not know how old you were when your mom married your mom, or why he thinks it his business. If he helped raise you when you were little that might be why.