aspergers assessment

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Hiya,

I'm pretty new to the forum and I was wondering if I could ask some advice.

My 6yr old is being referred to the autism team for an assessment and I really don't know what to expect. I also don't really know what aspects of his behaviour are just 'boys being boys' and what are 'aspie' traits (they suspect aspergers). He had a bit of a meltdown in class a couple of weeks ago because he didn't want to do the work, and ended up kicking his teacher. His ability to deal with things not going his way has diminished recently, but yet at other times he is the sweetest child. He is absolutely fanatical about dinosaurs, and pretty much only really wants to learn about them. He was behind the rest of his class in the 'emotional and behavioural' assessments in foundation stage, and although still lagging a bit, he has caught up somewhat. His dad and I split up when he was three and he regressed significantly at the time, and was under PCAMHS as he was only really talking in grunts and crying when that happened. Before then he seemed to be a happy toddler, if a little sensitive and stubborn, especially about sensations - he wouldn't eat anything other than puree until he was two, and as a baby wouldn't sleep unless he was snuggled in something soft and fluffy... I guess this assessment is just making me question a lot about him and I really don't know what to expect or what to do to support him. How long do assessments usually take to happen and how do they diagnose?

Sorry for all the questions, just feeling a bit overwhelmed!

Thanks!

I dunno what's involved in assessing kids, I wasn't diagnosed until well into adulthood, but just from those statements, I can see why he's been recommended for evaluation.

Don't sweat it, it's not a death sentence, it's just a set of handicaps. We learn to work around them as we grow up, but it is often frustrating and can leave one feeling very alienated and isolated from one's peer group. The peculiar thing about it is, for the most part everybody around you assumes you're just like them, until you say something strangely inappropriate, or decline to participate in their everyday social rituals, then they just think you're a bit odd. Because of that, when you are genuinely having a problem functioning as normally as everyone else, they tend not to believe you, because they can't SEE anything wrong with you. It makes a person crazy trying to communicate what you're going through to people who can't get it because it never happens to them.

Thus the commonly expressed feeling among Aspergians, that we've been born onto the Wrong Planet.

Thank you so much for your reply Willard! I find it really reassuring to know that he will learn to work around some of these things as he gets older. I hope that by getting assessed quite young that I'll be able to help him deal with the difficulties relating to his peer group, and that he might be able to understand better as he grows up making things a bit easier for him as a result. As someone who has grown up feeling like they're on the wrong planet, do you have any suggestions of things that I could do as his mother to make things a little less alien for him or to make things less frustrating?

Post this on your fridge. Just to remind you what invisible disabilities look like.

[img][img]http://i778.photobucket.com/albums/yy69/buddatek_inc/AnxietyDisorders.jpg[/img][/img]

hehe, I like that. I have an invisible illness myself (ME/CFS) so I understand how it feels for others not to understand that I can't do things, and for all the 'pull yourself together' comments to just be hurtful.

I hope that knowing that the 'wall' is there will enable me to help him find a way round it.

This is so well put. I am copying this to send to my wife. There are times when she does not see that this is what is happening with our son and I keep trying to explain, but it's as if some language barrier has suddenly grown between us. I will refer to this in those moments.

"He is being disrespectful and needs to know that is not acceptable."

"He can't help it. He's just reacting right now."

"But he's being disrespectful!"

"He can't help it."

Repeat until a sense of futility sets in.

I guess the time may vary depending on your location and waiting lists and stuff. But, after a waiting period (I wouldn't call it a waiting list, too short) of a month or so, we had an appointment for an intake. Diagnosis came after 5 months total, I think (with lots of appointments and investigations and questionnaires in between).

And yes, I too started questioning every little bit of behaviour of our son. And true, some things are quite common as kid's behavior. I think the main issue lies in the way it's processed and/or the way it influences his daily life. Having an occasional fit is ok, having a fit in the middle of a busy street because his shoe laces are tied all wrong with complete disregard for traffic is well, different. I didn't know what to expect either (and I still think he's perfectly fine the way he is) but I didn't like how every bit of behavior is turned inside out and assessed. It made me doubt my own capacities as a parent, a lot. Why did I not see it? How did I miss all the 'signs' everyone kept pointing out? (I need to add that I'm on the road to diagnosis too, so that might have played a pretty big role :') ) Right now, we're pretty much at ease with it. You'll find your way, there are plenty of helpful tips out there how to make daily life easier for AS kids. We started by creating more structure, setting up a weekplanner, tidying up his bedroom etc. Relatively small things, with quite a big improvement. Also, his special interests are a perfect way to spike up a reward system. School's an issue, but we're working on it with the help of said reward system. 8 stamps for a full card. Once the card is full, exchange it for some kind of activity involving his interests. He gets a stamp for every completed math assignment. And sensory issues are big here as well, sometimes a set of headphones helps. Or a comfy, fluffy PJ straight after school. And after a challenging meal with lots of textures comes a day with more easy food. Small steps, but in the end it helps a lot.

But what helped most is letting go of the whole 'what should be normal' stuff. The whole world might feel like a weird place, but home is where they can be who they are. It might take some work to get there, but hey, that can be fun as well